Journal of Sacred Work

[Note: The following entry was written by Cathy Self]

This
holding on, this letting go. These words are the title of a beautiful book
of poetry written by Karen Updike. I thought of them as I read the latest
journal entries and comments. In the pages of the Journal we’ve recently been
sharing the need for accepting the gifts of Love, the need for trust, and even
the need for courage. In our world of care-giving, courage seems to be a daily
requirement. Each of us is called on to make decisions that, in some cases,
literally will make the difference between life and death for those we serve.
In other cases, we are asked to take a risk in giving grace and love. Though
Love frees us, it does cost “all we are/and will ever be" (see Feb. 6,
2008 Journal entry by Erie Chapman.)
It feels at times like the pushme/pullyou animal of Dr. Dolittle fame. Do I
dare love or do I stay in my place of comfort? Do I hold on, or do I let go?…

           Dr. Ben Carson, director of
pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions suggests a
powerful prescription for life and love in a “dangerous world. It is a process
he has used for years called the Best/Worst Analysis (B/WA). When wrestling
with an important decision, suggests Carson,
ask yourself these four questions:

• · What is the best thing that can happen if I do
  this?
• What is the worst thing that can happen if I do
  this?
• · What is the best thing that can happen if I
  don’t do this?
• · What is the worst thing that can happen if I
  don’t do this?   

            As a neurosurgeon, Dr. Carson
thinks through these questions from his own point of view, that of his
patients, their parents and any others involved. I don’t know if these
questions will help in the immediate moment of holding on/letting go. I do know
that reflecting on them has been helpful to me in my journey of holding on and
letting go. Exploring the what-ifs has been useful to me in making a decision
to step out in courage while letting go of fear, in deciding to trust and
letting go of suspicion, and even in the decision to Love, letting go of
selfish need. We risk every time we choose to hold on, or we choose to let go.
           From her
poem titled “The Bronze Before the Elvehjem Museum Door,” Updike writes these
words:

Unlike this woman, I will age.
In my heart understanding can grow.
Since my arms are not cast in
bronze,    
may they learn now how to let go.