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Journal of Sacred Work
Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.
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9 responses to “Days 207-209 – Open Forum”
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Of late forgiveness seems to be on the forefront of my reflections. I think of the many times I have allowed little incidentals to become more than that. All the many ways I perceive others behaviors as somehow threatening to me. I have thought, “oh, if I do not stand up to this person, they will walk all over me.” I think of how often people are torn apart by a hurtful remark said that no one can forget, or ever let go of. Often I’ve heard tell of family members who hold a grudge for years, and refuse to talk to each other until it is too late. A person will be on their deathbed before loved ones are willing to make amends, if even then.The destruction seems to grow and take on a life of its own filled with wrath and hatefulness and only more devastation. When we choose to go down this path, we find it filled with pain, sorrow and regrets. In the end we hurt ourselves through others by our own lack of Love.
The path of Love encourages us to see in a whole new way, and not with the eyes of this world but to see through the guiding eyes of the Holy Spirit, or as Erie would tell us, through sacred eyes. When we look upon our fellow man/woman through the eyes of Love we see only a persons’ true nature as they were created. Suddenly all the petty stuff just does not matter anymore because it is not real. If someone asks something unreasonable of me, I will do it for Love. When another is angry, I will view it as a call for help. When I let go of judgment and condemnation to forgive I offer this gift to myself as well. For we are not separate from one another and the sacred is within everything.
To take this line of reasoning one-step further, what I see in you and how I treat you is how I see and treat God. In Jesus words, “For I was hungry and you gave Me food. I was thirsty and you gave Me drink. I was a stranger, and you took Me in. I was naked and you clothed Me. I was sick and you visited Me. I was in prison and you came to Me. You did it to Me.” (Mathew 25:35-36)
What a relief to realize I can let go of the struggles, the little warring battles within, the false pride, and experience peace. To understand this is to be as giddy and joyful as Mr. Scrooge on Christmas day!
As I treat, another human being is instructive of my beliefs. Will I choose Love and forgiveness or fear and deprivation? We need only accept the gift of Love that is offered to us and listen as the Holy Spirit gently guides us from within.LikeLike
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I offer a short excerpt from Rilke’s Love Letters to God
I read it here in your very word,
in the story of gestures
with which your hands cupped themselves
around our becoming–limiting, warm.
You said live out loud, and die you said lightly,
and over and over again you said be.LikeLike
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It appears as though Rilke (and love) are a common thread among us this morning. I am often amazed by the threads which bind us, and in awe of the musician who is carefully caressing the chords of our lives.
How shall I hold my soul, that it may not
be touching yours? How shall I lift it then
above you to where other things are waiting?
Ah, gladly would I lodge it, all-forgot
with some lost thing the dark is isolating
on some remote and silent spot that, when
your depths vibrate, is not itself vibrating.
You and me — all that lights upon us, though
brings us together like a fiddle-bow
drawing one voice from two strings it glides along.
Across what instrument have we been spanned?
And what violinist holds us in his hand?
O sweetest song.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
Be well my friends…may the instruments in your lives create a beautilful symphony.LikeLike
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Oh Liz, what a beautiful post today. I wish I would remain calm when confronted with an angry, demanding person long enough to choose to respond with love instead of the rushed “get it done – they’ll soon leave” mode.
Thank you for reminding us that we have a choice in responding with love over anxiety…VLikeLike
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Thanks to Liz we are reminded of the powerful difference words of forgiveness, mercy, acceptance and love can make in the life of an individual. Once we accept our own weakness how much more compassionate we are in embracing the other with genuine warmth and understanding. If only we could live with the forgiving heart that Jesus demonstrated in his life.
Here in Australia and in particular Sydney the inspiration, enthusiasm, joy and energy that permeated our nation through the gift of World Youth Day is something to be treasured. May we long live with the joy of giving, sharing, welcoming and loving acceptance of one another.
Thank you once again Liz for your zest for living and your call to live the gospel.LikeLike
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I have permission to post this side bar dialogue among friends.
Some additional thoughts: Forgiveness
Hi Liz,
You bring up a timeless and important topic and I hope much discussion does happen. The topic of forgiveness, much like the Prodical Son (or daughter), is one that can be transposed in all cultures/religions from the beginning of time to the current day. History repeats itself and as Mr. Shakespeare classically said, “Lord, what fools these mortals be.”
I have a personal story within my own life about the topic of forgiveness and this concern of forgiveness involves the issue about what to do about it afterwards. I also believe my own story is translatable to others in their own versions as well. I have really forgiven, to myself, this person’s wrong activity that happened about 4 years ago because I am no longer making any more demands that will only end up in hopeless disgust. (By the way, this wrong is significant and not a trivial concern.) Also, I have not told the person I forgive her/him because I am sure that same person feels s/he did no wrong so that person would be insulted if I said to them, “I forgive you”. So that part is over but the current part is this – any future interactions with this same person I meet at family events. The behavior of this person is still the same, irresponsible and most unpleasant. My response is to always be on my guard and stay a distance from that person because the trust factor just ain’t there. I believe this is wise action for anyone because the forgiveness is there for the past action but a healthy barrier is placed in order not to experience the same mishap again.
Is there any discussion on this particular commentary? Also, I am including Margaret and Jo Ann into the discussion for their own input.
Randy
Hi Liz, Randy, and Margaret,
This is quick and to the point. I now try to forgive and let go. And if the person is aware that he/she has hurt me in some way, and basically will not change their actions, then I will distant myself. If I try to talk to that person about the situation and they do not agree that they have done or said something out of line. Then I’m done with person. I will ask God to help me forgive and let go and move on. Because not forgiving only creates bitterness in your heart and can create sickness in the body.
Jo Jo
Hi All,
This is an interesting question, and not one that is easily answered. I wonder what the sign of full forgiveness is. I could claim that I have forgiven someone who has wronged me, and move on, but if I keep my distance and not allow myself to be put in a position to be wronged again, have I fully forgiven that person? Wouldn’t full forgiveness mean acting as if nothing has happened and allowing that person fully into one’s life again? I can’t say that would be easy, and it would be setting oneself up to be wronged again. It might even be viewed as being a “doormat”, but wouldn’t Jesus have done that? 🙂 Margaret
Hi Again Everyone,
When I look back on my life when I was much, much younger there were times when I was a “doormat.” I can see it now. I was a “doormat!” And I say to myself, “Forget about forgiving that other person. That person no longer matters. I need to forgive myself for being a “doormat.”
I remember when I was about 10 or 11 years old, my family and I were at Mass, and Fr. John was saying the Mass. I really can’t remember what the subject was in his sermon, but I do remember something his said, that have stuck with me all of my life. He said, “God don’t bless you for being a doormat.” He also said, “You can turn your chin once, but don’t keep turning it and getting slapped over and over.” The congregation chuckled, but what he said was so true. I have never forgotten that part of his sermon. There were times in my life that I forgot about his advice. But I am wiser now!
Forgiveness is a very grey area. Everyone has a limit to how grey they will let that area get. If it gets too grey for you, then it’s time to pick up that “doormat” and pitch it OUT. Can you see that mat flying?
Jo Jo
Wonderful Words of Down to Earth Wisdom: Forgiveness
Jo Jo,
What a great way to think and to throw some great humor at the end about a very important topic. Sometimes humor can be used to dodge significant discussion but when used or at ripe moments throughout or at the end it adds the needed touch to healthy living.
It’s also interesting to read what experiences or sayings one remembers in life. You know, the age old notion of what sticks in one’s life…
Now I will have a great weekend and my wish is the same for all of you!
Randy
Hi All,
Thanks for entering in this fruitful discussion. Here are some additional thoughts from my evolving thought processes.
I am beginning to see that the other person is not different from me but is a part of me. If someone says something hurtful, they no longer hurt me because it is not real to me. Only Love is real. When my brother/sister lashes out or condemns it is because they hurt and are condemning themselves, and hurting themselves through me. I want to see past the drama of the moment to understand that beneath the muck we were all created in Love. If only we can remember this. If I can look into another’s eyes and see that Love then I will also see it in me. It is easy to project our unwanted feelings onto others. Yet, I can only find my salvation in the other person, so if I can forgive them I am also learning to forgive myself.
~liz
A few more thoughts,,, I guess it is easy to talk about the principles of Loving forgiveness but much more difficult to live the reality. That is why your real life situations are so meaningful to me. I only know that when I begin to see my brother as a part of me and look past the basic conflict of your gain is my loss and vice versa to see Christ in them he also is revealed in me. This is beyond something I can do on my own for all the reasons you have stated. Yet, if I ask for the Holy Spirit’s help then gently, ever so gently I will receive this gift of forgiveness through Love. It is a gift to be shared not by some but by all of us as One.
~lizLikeLike
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This past week I had the awesome opportunity to sit in on a palliative care orientation for new nurses to the St. Joseph’s Home Health organization. My preceptor Liz, provided a wonderful presentation about the meaning (concept) and responsibilities of providing palliative care for their patients. I had to leave the orientation early and missed the opportunity to participate in a narrative reflection that Liz has everyone do. Therefore, I post today a reflection of love, hope, faith and wonder. It is a journal entry that one of my co-workers shared with me and therefore, I pass it on to share with all of you.
I dreamed this two weeks before my father in-law when in for triple bypass surgery. He was very sick, and they had given him a 50/ 50 chance of making it out of the hospital. He was in his early 70’s. The doctors had been keeping close check for many years on a blockage he had in an artery. He began having chest pains and was very weak as the blockage grew. The Doctors did all the scans, MRI, Cat, X-rays, his problem was well documented. My husband and I were young Christians at the time…about 8 months since we both had been saved. At the hospital we went in, my husband, his sister, her pastor, and I and we gathered around his bed to pray for him before he was to go in for the surgery. I was holding my father in-laws hand. As we were praying I got this feeling of calm and peace. I knew ever thing was going to be OK. The day before we left home for the hospital, I couldn’t get the dream off my mind. It was almost like Angels were telling me over and over, to write the dream down. The urge to write was so powerful, it was driving me nuts. So I took a note pad with me, and after they took him into surgery…I got comfortable and started writing. Words flew out of my head and I was writing like I had never written before. I wrote this in less than 25 minutes. In less than 45 minutes they called out and said they couldn’t find the blockage and his arteries were clean, and he could go home. That day when I read what I had written. It was a poem and I’m not a poet, and even if I was I couldn’t have written it that fast. I felt like I was in the company of Angels. He went home that same day. That was four years ago and he’s still doing great for an almost 80 year old man. So here’s what I wrote that day. A lot of people have read it and their life’s have been changed. I claim no input for the poem other than the hand holding the pen. The words came from Angels, directed by God.
THE DREAM
I DREAMED ONE NIGHT TWO ANGELS CAME TO MY BED.
THEY TOOK ME TO HEAVEN I FELT I HAD NOTHING TO DREAD.
WE STOOD IN FRONT OF A BIG WHITE GATE.
IT OPENED SLOWLY AS WE STOOD IN WAIT.
MANY CLOUDS BILLOWED AND SWIRLED ABOUT US
AS I STOOD IN AWE OF THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS THAT SURROUNDED US.
WHAT I SAW WORDS COULD NOT EXPRESS,
I WANTED TO STAY AT THIS BEAUTIFUL ADDRESS.
THE ANGELS ALLOWED ME TO LOOK INSIDE,
THE BEAUTY THE MAJESTY, MADE ME CRY.
“IT’S TRUE, IT’S ALL TRUE, I KNOW THAT IT’S TRUE” I HEARD MYSELF CRY,
AS TEARS RAN STREAMING FROM MY EYES.
I KNEW WHAT I SAW WAS NOT OF THIS EARTH,
THIS CREATION WAS FOR THOSE OF THE NEW BIRTH.
THE POWER, THE BEAUTY, THE SIGHT OF IT ALL WAS SO STRONG,
THAT THE ANGELS SHUT THE GATES QUICKLY TO MY NEW HOME.
“IT’S NOT YOUR TIME,” I HEARD THEM SAY,
“WE JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE WHAT WAS ON THE WAY,”
THEY SAID “YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER WHAT YOU HAVE SEEN INSIDE THE GATE,
BUT YOU WILL REMEMBER WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN.
YOU MUST TELL OTHERS ABOUT THIS DREAM.
THAT GOD’S WORD IS TRUE. IT’S THE REAL THING.
GOD HAS LET YOU SEE WHAT IS YOUR REWARD
IF YOU WORSHIP, LOVE HIM, AND KEEP HIS WORD.”
WE ALL NEED TO REALIZE THAT IT’S REALLY TRUE.
WE NEED TO GET THE LOST ONES IN IF IT’S ALL THAT WE DO.
WE DON’T HAVE MUCH TIME, THE END IS NEAR,
AND YES, IF YOU ARE LOST YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO FEAR.
CALL ON JESUS NOW, SO YOU CAN GO TO
AND YOU’LL SEE WHAT I SAW AND YOU’LL BE EXCITED TOO.
I’LL SOON BE IN MY NEW HOME, PASS THE BIG WHITE GATES.
DON’T YOU WANT TO GO THERE TOO? I JUST CAN’T WAIT!!!!
~Unknown AuthorLikeLike
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Thanks for contributing Yvonne,
One more e-mail comment on forgiveness
Hi Liz & Marg & Randy,
Your comments about you are beginning to see that the other person is not different from you but a part of you. That is so true, because we are of like mind, and we are all one in Spirit. We are part of the one Great Spirit that gives us Light. I am happy because I receive so much love and wisdom from all of you.
Jo JoLikeLike
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When all is said and done, there really is nothing to forgive. Perhaps, just a correction in our perception, from the thought that we could ever be separate from one another and our Source of creation. This wisdom shared, is wisdom I’ve embraced from A Course in Miracles.
~lizLikeLike
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