Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Recent Posts

About

Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Days 214-216 – Daughters & Caregivers

Tia_with_sonia_2
   It’s a strange and wonderful thing to see your daughter with her daughter. As a father, I look at my daughter’s daughter and find myself thinking back 36 years to the time when Tia was the little baby in my arms. Of course, I feel all the same love for her today that I felt back then – and more.
   Today, our family celebrates my daughter’s birthday with her. It’s wonderful to see her displaying her special gifts as a caregiver as she looks after her seven-month old. All the characteristics we would want in our own caregiver are present with Tia as she expresses her love to her child.
   What are the characteristics of an ideal caregiver and how do they compare to the gifts of mothering? Today is our traditional Open Forum day. Perhaps it is an opportunity for us to reflect on the relationship between mothering and fathering on the one hand and caring for the poor and vulnerable through charitable work. What are the similarities and what, if any are the differences?
   Click on Comments, below, to share your thoughts.

-Erie Chapman

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5 responses to “Days 214-216 – Daughters & Caregivers”

  1. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    A miraculous transformation happened for me when I became a mother. Before that, I was much more reserved about showing emotion to strangers, especially to other babies/childen. I wasn’t sure how to relate and therefore pulled back. Motherhood has opened my expression, made me more willing to make a fool of myself, and just loving completely. Certainly, it has made me appreciate my own mother as I more fully understand the complexities of parenthood. This carries over to my work, as I have allowed myself to see others with broader eyes and a much less judgemental spirit.

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  2. Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales Avatar
    Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales

    As a mother myself, I wake up to live everyday in the wonder and beauty of my children’s innocence, voice, hugs, and curiosities. I share with you what my husband and I have posted on our refrigerator as a reminder of the precious gifts (Nicolas & Chloe) we have been blessed with. Enjoy!!!
    Twenty Somethings To Say To Children
    1. I love you! There is nothing that will make me stop loving you. Nothing you could do or say or think will ever change that.
    2. You are amazing! I look at you with wonder! Not just at what you can do, but who you are. There is no one like you. No one!
    3. It’s all right to cry. People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely. When they feel. Big people cry too. I do.
    4. You’ve made a mistake. That was wrong. People make mistakes. I do. Is it something we can fix? What can we do? It’s all over. You can start fresh. I know you are sorry. I forgive you.
    5. You did the right thing. That was scary or hard. Even though it wasn’t easy, you did it. I am proud of you; you should be too.
    6. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I made a mistake.
    7. You can change your mind. It’s good to decide, but it is also fine to change.
    8. What a great idea! You were really thinking! How did you come up with that? Tell me more. Your mind is clever!
    9. That was kind. You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person. That must make you feel good inside. Thank you!
    10. I have a surprise for you. It’s not your birthday. It’s for no reason at all. Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.
    11. I can wait. We have time. You don’t have to hurry this time.
    12. What would you like to do? It’s your turn to pick. You have great ideas. It’s important to follow your special interests.
    13. Tell me about it. I’d like to hear more. And then what happened? I’ll listen.
    14. I’m right here. I won’t leave without saying good-bye. I am watching you. I am listening to you.
    15. Please and Thank You. These are important words. If I forget to use them, will you remind me?
    16. I missed you. I think about you when we are not together!
    17. Just try. A little bit. One taste, one step. You might like it. Let’s see. I’ll help you if you need it. I think you can do it.
    18. I’ll help you. I heard you call me, here I am. How can I help you? If we both work together, we can get this done. I know you can do it by yourself, but I’m glad to help since you asked.
    19. What do you wish for? Even if it’s not yet time for birthday candles and we don’t have a wishbone, it’s still fun to hear about what you wish for, hope for, and dream about.
    20. I remember when… I will never forget… When you were little… I will always remember the time… I loved you then, too…I always have a picture of you in my mind.
    This is excerpted from an article called “Advocacy: Being the Voices Children Need to Hear” written by China Deaton

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  3. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Strange enough, what comes to mind is a situation I am not proud to tell. I was an experienced oncology hospital nurse who entered the uncharted territory of home care as a novice in 1981. I cared for an older woman with a serious non-healing leg ulcer. I performed her wound care and educated her about the importance of elevating her leg to decrease edema. Unfortunately, she did not follow any of the recommendations, her wound worsened and she was at risk of losing her foot. I tried every strategy I could think of when finally in exacerbation I said to her family, “I guess if she is going to behave like a child, treat her like one and just make her elevate her leg!” Well, I had crossed the line and the patient declined my next visit until I made amends and apologized. Unfortunately, this dear lady did lose her foot and I felt powerless to affect any change in her healing due to life style habits. Although painful, she taught me a valuable lesson. I learned to approach people with kindness and to respect their choices. I discovered I could get much father with a person by entering the back door so to speak. If I just made suggestions, presented options, and potential outcomes of each choice people seemed more likely to come around on their own. I’ve found parenting to be quite similar. When our children become adults, it is not our place to give advice, judge, or criticize their life choices but to offer Loving acceptance and to be grateful for their Love.
    Caring for people as a guest in their own home has been a great education in life as I’ve encountered the best and worst of situations. Patients and family members taught me all about living, Loving, and dying. My relationships with patients and families has been reciprocal with a mutual regard and affection. A giving and receiving and often I came away feeling I had received so much more than I ever gave.

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    P.S.
    How delightful to see your beautiful daughter and granddaughter! I can only imagine the untold joy and blessings they offer you and your wife.

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  5. Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales Avatar
    Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales

    Good morning Liz… Thank you for the courage to share a moment in your life that we all often encounter early in our careers. I find comfort in knowing that I am not the only one. We learn early in nursing school about nonmaleficence, “first, do no harm” and beneficence “to do good”, however, they are solely guides to our practice. Your situation seemed to communicate inexperience and exhaustion. However, looking back in your reflection, I sensed a growth in your practice with this experience about who you are today and an understanding of what our true purpose is as a nurse: to listen, to guide, to educate, and finally, to be able to accept choices made by others even when they may conflict with what we believe is best for them. The last part is always the hardest for me. Maybe it is because I am a mother. I too, often feel that I get back more than I give. Understand, I’m not complaining. Sometimes it a good thing to have a bucket that is overflowing with reserves than to have an empty one for those times when I feel like I have tried my best and my best was not enough.

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