Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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   My understanding is that fear is a primitive reaction that awakens in us the human chemistry of our adrenals. A "tiger" chases us.
Involuntarily, a burst of adrenaline flares through our bodies, supplying us with energy to run faster or to fight with enhanced strength.   
   At such a moment,
humans actually have three choices: 1) to run, 2) to fight, 3) to
find another alternative. What is the alternative to fleeing or fighting? It is Love.
 Christians lions
  Some Christians thrown
to lions during the period of the persecution simply yielded to what
they saw as inevitable. They chose the path of Daniel. They neither ran nor fought. Without fear, they raised their eyes to some higher place and
surrendered. 
   Should we surrender when chased by forces that seem stronger
than ourselves? In the unlikely event that we're chased by a tiger, we need, of course, to find an
escape route. Yet, when confronted by threats from other humans, we can choose the
special courage to respond with Love.
   What can you do in the presence of the threatening
tiger of a boss? Many "run." They do this by hiding under a mask of
compliance. They apple-polish frantically as a fear-based strategy to
save their jobs. Alternatively, they literally try to dodge the radar of the boss's scanning eyes by being where the boss isn't
    Some may also choose to fight tyranny with a sort of eye-for-an-eye approach. They may respond to abusive treatment with abusive and hostile language. In other words, they may choose retaliation and revenge – choosing to sink to the same level as their abuser.
   Martin Luther King showed us the pathway to a third choice. He always counseled that we be both "tough-minded and tender-hearted." In the 1950s and '60s, he responded to abuse from misguided Southern sheriffs, Mayors, and governors with dignity, respect and Love. In other words, King chose the pathway laid down by Jesus. He paid no honor to fear or to his enemies. He stood strong and graceful. Jesus' surrender to the cross was not driven by fear. He chose a far more loving path.
   Responding to fear with The Third Choice of Love is the hardest thing humans ever do. When we are living in fear, we are living away from Love's energy. That is why courage is the only bridge that can carry us from fear back to Love's light. Like Daniel, we can open our hearts to God.
   The Third Choice calls us to rise above our most primitive instincts. When we make The Third Choice our first choice, we are, of course, choosing God.

   How would you express your own understanding of the way to make this third choice? How do you see others making this kind of third-choice decision in their work and their lives?

-Erie Chapman

   

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4 responses to “Day 330 – The Third Choice – A Strategy for Dealing with Fear”

  1. Edwin Loftin Avatar
    Edwin Loftin

    Well stated and very timely Erie. Our ability to make the third choice our first on an individual,team and even organizational level must be very deliberate, honest, and supported.
    In our environment of Healing the choice of a Loving response reflects that we have come to terms with and embrace the four relationships of the golden thread (Caregiver to self, Caregiver to Caregiver, Caregiver to Leader an Caregiver to Patient). When the courage of response is a natural and instenctive Loving response we will have made this our First response.
    This is the hard work that each of us must make as our deliberate focus. I must stop and think through my responses, for the only way to create an environment of Loving responses is to begin with the being I see in the mirror.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Your expressions are so eloquent Erie that I can’t help wonder if there is anything more that needs said.
    Ed I appreciate your clear and practical application to our work as caregivers.
    I will try to share my understandings of the teachings. As I open to the invitation of the Holy Spirit for guidance Love’s answer is made known in every situation. If I am receptive and listen I remember that I am not separate from God or any of my brothers/sisters. When I feel attacked, a part of me must believe that it is true. Love’s answer shows that nothing can hurt me, the attack is not real. A loving response awakens a part of Love’s wholeness in the other person. To receive is to accept the blessing of God’s peace and joy. When I deny another I deny myself and that is why it is so painful. I am not separate I am God’s will.

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  3. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    As Erie knows, I try to remember that the person in front of me is more than whatever they are doing that is annoying, difficult, even fearful, to me. And I try to love the whole person, not condemn the person based on whatever I am finding annoying, difficult, or fearful. And I try to remember that some of us have never really experienced grace in our relationships, or not enough, perhaps, to make a difference. If we don’t know grace (love) from receiving it, how can we know how to give it?

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Although I have never had the opportunity to meet you in person, I know that about you Diana and I love that about you.
    ~liz

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