Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

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Day 48 – How Listening Can Save Lives

February 17, 2009

[The Good Samaritan – by Vincent Van Gogh]

It was my little sister's birthday. Nine friends and family, including my wife and I, sat around a table at a restaurant in Toledo, Ohio, this past weekend laughing and exchanging stories about how we'd met Martha and what a great pal she was. It was a light-hearted occasion. Different members of the group shared funny stories. Laughter lifted all our hearts.
   One of the funniest members of the group, a former security guard at the hospital where Martha works, had the group laughing until tears ran down our faces. Suddenly, his voice changed.
   "What I really want to tell everyone is that fifteen years ago, shortly after I met Martha, I had been very depressed. I felt so desperate and lonely I was ready to take my life. Martha was the only person who listened to me. She was the only one who showed up for me in my life. It was her presence that kept me from killing myself…So I'm still in this world because of Martha's kindness."
   Everyone sat stunned for a moment. Then, I saw a different kind of tears coming from Martha's eyes as her heart was remembering those dark moments for her friend. She knew he'd been sad, But, until that moment, she hadn't known that her listening heart had saved a life. "I knew you'd been sad. I really didn't know you'd been suicidal."
   "But, I was," her friend said. "I've got eight brothers and sisters. None of them cared. I've got other friends. None of them could hear me except you."
   The true Good Samaritan lives Love in more ways than just by physically lifting another out of danger. We know the power of listening. We know that listening is often the foundation of loving care. But, we often don't know that listening with Love can actually save a life.
   What do you think?

Erie Chapman

Posted in Meditations

5 responses to “Day 48 – How Listening Can Save Lives”

Karen York

February 17, 2009

Wow. I need to be a better listener. Thank you for this story.

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~liz Wessel

February 17, 2009

I believe listening is the most precious gift we can offer another human being. Listening that is, without imposing our own thoughts, needs and answers upon the other person. It is a simple, yet so very hard to do, or shall is say, “to be.” We are so quick to rush to the fix mode, rather than to offer sacred space. Save a life, heal a relationship, save the world; it all comes back to listening with Love. Thank you for sharing this moment in time of being together with treasured friends and most importantly this wisdom. It places in the forefront of my awareness the question, how will I listen today?
Today is my mom’s 93rd birthday! I am going to call her right now.

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Tracy Roberts

February 17, 2009

I work on my listening skills daily, trying to set aside my idea that I can fix or cure with my words. It’s difficult because my head tells me I have the answer (and to speak it, maybe even interrupt the person speaking so I can convey my infinite wisdom and solve all their problems), but my soul says listen. So, I practice listening to everyone I encounter. Here is one of my favorite excerpts from Just Listen by Rachel Naomi Remen:
I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it. Most of us don’t value ourselves or our love enough to know this. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying, “I’m so sorry,” when someone is in pain. And meaning it.

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Debbie

February 17, 2009

In today’s hurry up and wait world, we are all too busy and impateint to genuinuely listen to what the other person is attempting to communicate to us. “We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking.”–Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D. Perhaps if we truly did listen more and talk less we would not be in the position that we find ourselves through out the work

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Patricia

February 21, 2009

People often ask how I know so much about my patients – other than their medical history. I make it a point to ask them questions and listen to their answers – the answers they speak aloud and their sounds of silence. Thanks for such a beautiful story on the power of listening.

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