Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Recent Posts

About

Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Day 70 – Forgiveness & The Problem of Pain

 "But forgiveness needs to be accepted as well as offered if it is to be complete: and a man [sic] who admits no guilt can accept no forgiveness."  – C.S. Lewis – The Problem of Pain

    I wonder when you have had the experience of offering forgiveness and discovering that it was rejected? Perhaps, you have done the same in reverse. Someone has offered you forgiveness and you responded with, "Thanks, but I don't really think I deserve it."

   Forgiveness truly works in a circle. What is most startling, however, is the impact forgiveness has on the forgiver even when the circle is not complete. There is a Buddhist saying that goes, "Holding onto anger is like grasping is like grabbing a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." 

   Anger, resentment, and revenge no matter how justified, are each hot coals that burn the holder. Two organizations are seeking to expand our understanding of the power of love and forgiveness. One is the Fetzer Institute which has launched what they call The Campaign for Love and Forgiveness. The other is a British organization found at www.theforgivenessproject.com. If you explore either site, what you will discover there are some astounding stories of the power of forgiveness. Told there, are sagas of women and men who have been brutalized by others, have carried the scar of the brutalization, and then discovered they were carrying a second, even heavier wound – the burden of anger and resentment. In each case, when they found the strength to forgive and let go, they were stunned by how much better they felt.

   Any kind of abuse is painful. What's surprising, perhaps, is the relief that comes when we let go our inclination to seek revenge. Contrary to the belief of many. Letting go of righteous anger does not mean letting go of justice.

   What do you think about this? Does it make sense? How might this affect your life as a caregiver?

-Erie Chapman

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3 responses to “Day 70 – Forgiveness & The Problem of Pain”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    The challenge of forgiveness can be especially difficult especially when unspeakable acts have been committed. For the injured person to heal the past must be released. The following are a few teachings from A Course in Miracles that resonates with me.
    “You will not find peace until you have removed the nails from the hands of God’s son and taken the last thorn from his forehead. The decision to receive is the decision to accept. To offer forgiveness you must let go of guilt and accept the Atonement for yourself, learning you are guiltless. Redemption is recognized only by sharing it. The circle of forgiveness has no end and everyone who is brought within its safety finds peace within the embrace of Love.”
    I visited the Fetzer site and I enjoyed a little video I watched about their Love and Forgiveness campaign. Thanks for recommending the 2 sites and for another powerful meditation today.
    I also wish to share this passage that I find very meaningful with you, my dear friends.
    “The boat I travel in is called Surrender. My two oars are instant forgiveness and gratitude – complete gratitude for the gift of life. I am thankful for the experience of this life, for the opportunity to dance. I get angry, I get mad, but as soon as I remind myself to put my oars in the water, I forgive.
    I serve. I do the dance I must. I plant trees, but I am not the doer of this work. I am the facilitator, the instrument. I am one part of the symphony. I know there is an overall scheme to this symphony that I cannot understand. In some way, we are each playing our own part. It is not for me to judge or criticize the life or work of another. All I know is that this is my dance. I would plant trees today even if I knew for a certainty that the world would end tomorrow.”
    — Balbir Mathur, Planting Love One Tree At A Time (Heron Dance, Issue 11, October 1996)

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  2. George Tracy Roberts Avatar
    George Tracy Roberts

    On the topic of forgiveness, I am reminded of a couple of things:
    I saw Cornel West speak a couple of years ago and he told a story about Mamie Till Bradley, Emmett Till’s mother (for info see http://www.emmetttillmurder.com ). Cornel talked about what happened when Mamie Till Bradley was asked by reporters what should be done to the men who brutalized and murdered her 14 year-old son; her response was, “We must first forgive them”. As Mr. West said this, he stepped back from the podium and just gazed out into the audience and mouthed the words “forgive them”. He then stepped back to the podium and asked, “Where does THAT come from? Where does THAT courage come from? To say we need to forgive brutalizers and murderers?” He went on to say that the strenghth and courage Mamie Till Bradley needed to ask to forgive did not come from this Earth, but from a greater place.
    I also saw Myrlie-Evers Williams speak about the slaying of her husband, civil rights pioneer Medgar Evers, in my howetown of Jackson, Mississippi. She talked about being “imprisoned” by the memory of that evening and how for decades she was eaten up by hatred for the men who killed Medgar. And then she realized that her hatred was only hurting herself; that these men she hated were suffering no consequences of her hate, and it was only eating herself up, over and over again. So, she forgave them and said it opened up her heart to do good works.
    And finally, maybe more appropriately, because I hesitate to think I could pull of similiar feats of forgiveness as Mamie Till Bradley and Myrlie-Evers Williams, there’s a song a friend of my brother’s wrote that begins, “Forgiveness – that’s just some people talking; let ’em talk ’til the rivers run dry.”
    My personal journey unfolds with the discovery that I used to feel power over people if I held resentment. However, in the world’s strange way, I have found that my power indeed lies in the difficult task of forgiving and giving up what I perceive as power. The forgiveness I give out is the forgiveness I hope to receive.

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  3. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    George,
    I just wish to acknowledge your contributions on the Journal today. I think that when we offer a response to Erie’s heartfelt meditations it enriches the experience for all and expands in affirmations of Love.
    ~liz

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