"…there is no holding on with love – it is all a letting go…it seems that holding on is a fear of something else." – Karen York, Executive Vice President, Alive Hospice
Karen York (left) and her colleagues at Nashville-based Alive Hospice work alongside death every day. 100% of their patients are terminal. Each has arrived at a remarkable moment when the idea of trying to "hold on" to life (whatever that means) becomes meaningless. Some reach this point with fear. Some come to it with Love. In a comment posted recently in the Journal, Karen quoted Rumi: "Death comes, and what we thought/ we needed loses importance."
As we reach the end of our days, what takes the place of what we thought was important?
I have asked people close to death this question. Some have told me that think of family and others dear to them. One middle aged woman, on the very day she died, told me she was thinking about her relationship with God.
No one has told me that wished they had spent more time at work or on the golf course. No one has told me they will miss their cars or their collection of things. Many have said they wished they had spent more time with loved ones or that they had lived more fully and joyfully.
Not all, of course, die with regret. Some live their final days in gratitude.
We don't, of course, need to wait for our last days to practice appreciation and Love.
In the midst of your day or night as a caregiver, perhaps this is the gift of Karen's insight for us – that there is "no holding on with love." And as we let go, perhaps we can replace fear with not only Love, but gratitude.
What do you think?
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
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