I arrived home from work last evening cold, vaguely uncomfortable and, in a word, down. I felt unable to respond to my wife's warm greeting and retreated into a dull silence. Sitting down near the cave of a darkened fireplace, I searched for comfort and waited for the angel of relief.
Maybe we don't always have to be happy, I told myself again as I have so many times before. Maybe it's okay to sit alone in the valley of the shadow.
Adults are supposed to be able to self-diagnose dark moods and administer quick healing. Psychiatrists advise us to rise from gloom, move around, search the world for signs of hope. When we can't find relief, medication is a swallow away. The happy world has little tolerance for people who can't find the sun.
December's dawn holds back her entrance until most of us have arisen. Her sky darkens early. Inspiring quotes and pictures of flowers may bring no relief to those whose hearts have fallen silent in such a season.
Where may we find comfort when hope seems as distant as our childhood?
Finally, I began to write this note to you. I titled it "Comfort" because hope, for me, lives in relationship. For me, comfort is soft, feminine. Most of the Journal's readers are women just as most caregivers are women. Whether mothers or not, women own a unique understanding of compassion. They know that Love is most clearly personified in a Mother's love.
Even though you are out of my view, three years of writing these "letters" (and seeing the responses from some) tells me that you are out there. We seek a similar land. We want to reside in a place where we are loved whether or not we are smiling. We want to find strength from each other so that we may offer hope and comfort to others.
As the earth hardens may our hearts soften so that God may give us a comfort beyond what the world can offer. As we both walk this earth, offering healing when we can, may we offer loving presence to each other.
There is a divine closeness in caregiving. There is no greater comfort than that offered by Love.
-Erie Chapman
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