Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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"As stillness in stone to silence is wed/ May your heart be somewhere a God might dwell." John O'Donohue

Loving hands    The truth is, God already dwells in our hearts. But all too often God's presence is blocked by vicious cruelty. 

   Consider "Miradi." At fourteen, she was cast into an arranged marriage requiring that she leave her native Pakistan to join with her American husband. 

   Within days of the marriage, Miradi was attacked and beaten by her mother-in-law. Various kinds of torture and abuse from both her mother-in-law and husband followed. Her efforts to escape, as a Pakistani teenager in America were difficult. Where does a young foreigner victimized by abuse find relief? 

   Where is God in the middle of such a nightmare"

   Fortunately for Maradi (and hundreds of others in similar situations), God's Love shined clear from the heart of Valerie Wynn, the woman who founded and leads a sanctuary called The Mary Parrish Center. The Center gave Maradi a safe and secure home. She can stay there for up to two years during which time she plans to finish her basic education and begin to pursue her dream of becoming a physician. 

   God's Love can always defeat cruelty if only that Love can be revealed. For Maradi, God appeared through a saintly caregiver. 

   A more difficult question is this: What about the abusers? Where is Love to be found in a heart dominated by cruelty? 

   As we consider the daily tragedies that caregivers encounter, how do we find the strength to Love people who act violently toward others? How do we separate, in our hearts, the person from his or her mean actions?

   Caregivers are called to heal people regardless of wrongdoing. Happily, there are those who will try to heal Miradi. Who will seek to heal her attackers? Where do any of us find Love that might transform the cruel into the kind? Is that sort of Love too big for us to imagine?

-Erie Chapman

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3 responses to “Days 335-337 – Love & Violence”

  1. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    It is far easier for us to stand in judgement of the actions of others. Look at the jabs going toward Tiger Woods this past week. In every sense of his life, he has been a stellar example of grace and professionalism. While acting in a way contrary to everyone’s picture of him, he is now ridiculed as “a bad guy”. How much more do we ridicule people who continually attack and abuse others which seems far worse than Tiger’s actions. The deepest kind of lovers take care of the abusers among us. Admittedly, I don’t know if I possess that depth of giving. Blessings to those who do.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Someone close to me was sexually abused as a child by a neighbor. About two years after the abuse ended, this child confided in me (I was also a child) and I was sworn to secrecy and carried the burden for many years. I hated that man for what he had done and I wished he would die. Years later he died from an illness but unfortunately, he was never held accountable for the violating this child and his actions have had a devastating impact on this person’s life. I have let go of the hate but I am not sure I have forgiven him, and the situation was never resolved in any satisfactory way.
    Hmmn, you ask where is love for the perpetrators of abuse and cruelty… My first reaction is one of repulsion, anger, and disdain. I realize that most likely, Miradi’s attackers were once abused too and the terrible cycle continues…as these are learned behaviors. It is a stretch for me to think about loving the perpetrators. Yet, I have come to believe that forgiveness is one of our main purposes in life. I know there are enlightened beings who have been victims of violence and they have been able to forgive. It is easy to hate when we see the abuser as a monster and an object versus a human being. It is a very courageous act to face the perpetrator who has caused great harm and to forgive them. I believe that God does not allow suffering of certain people and spares others, rather God manifests as help through the Loving actions of people like Valerie Wynn who support a healing that begins from within. Forgiveness is as big a step as the first step taken on the moon and the implications are equally magnificent and far-reaching in effect.

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  3. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Saturday Reflection:
    Wonderful photo by the way…
    I wonder why some people who have been abused, violated, or treated cruelly impose that same fate on others, repeating the cycle of abuse, while others do not?
    Yet, a person who has been abused may act out in disruptive ways without awareness that current life stressors and challenges are triggering a much deeper hurt hidden in their psyche…unless of course they have received the necessary help needed to heal. Old wounds can be pushed down, and avoided, but they keep pushing up to the surface until we are ready and able to work through the pain, guilt, and shame into forgiveness of others, and ourselves to reach the other side of living again.
    Sadly, if we don’t we don’t work our pain we continue our suffering. I think that goes for the one who lashes out as well as for the one who is hurt and somehow we miss seeing that we are really one, and the same. So, my disdain for you is also for myself and that is why forgiveness is so important in healing.
    I think there is an element of choice; can we choose Love over fear and betrayal? Can we keep our hearts open and trusting to receive the Grace of Love’s healing?

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