Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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"Love means helping other people no matter what." Tawana Jackon, housekeeper, Baptist Hospital.

   Organizations and important ideas always have what are called "Founding Stories." These tales exist as the true parables of meaning.

Housekeeper hallway   The golden thread of Radical Loving Care was spun thousands of years ago. I coined the modern day application of God's Love as a way to adapt this energy for caregivers – to remind all caregivers that we hold the golden thread in our hands. Along with this came the development of Healing Hospitals and hospices.

   Like the parable of the Good Samaritan, founding stories are often about ordinary seeming, everyday events, not big, dramatic rescues. It is often in the unseen acts of kindness where we discover Love's expression most poignantly.

   Here is one of the key founding stories of Radical Loving Care. It was told to me more than a decade ago by a housekeeper on staff at Baptist Hospital when I was president there.

   "Last night," she told me at lunch in the hospital cafeteria, "I was mopping the floor outside a patient's room on the seventh floor. It was about 10 p.m. The patient was an old man. He was confused and kept crying out. He was calling for his daughter. I had seen his daughter leave way back at the end of visiting hours.

   "The man sounded so sad. I looked down the hallway and the nurses looked very busy. So, I put down my mop, walked into the patient's room, and took his hand in mine. I think maybe the old man thought I was his daughter. Anyway, as soon as I took his hand, he calmed down. Within a minute or two, he fell asleep. So I went back out in the hall and continued mopping.

   "Is this what you mean by loving care?" she asked me.

   Needless to say, it is. Why?

   The housekeeper heard someone in need and she brought her Love to meet that need. In so doing, she took a risk. Some supervisors would punish a person like her for stepping outside her "job description." In fact, this kind of punishment happens all the time. Far easier for the housekeeper, a veteran, to ignore the crying man and continue her work. After all, as an eight-year veteran, she had heard patients calling from their room many times.

   Note that the housekeeper gave Love with no expectation of thanks or any other response. Consider also that the housekeeper did not give any medication or other "treatment" except her kindness.

   The Love expressed by this housekeeper symbolizes what Radical Loving Care establishes as the norm in a Healing Hospital or hospice. Instead of a rare occurrence, loving expressions are common. Actions like the housekeepers, consistent with the parable of the Good Samaritan, are what happens when an ordinary culture becomes a loving culture.

   What are the stories you encounter that symbolize Radical Loving Care in your world? What is the difference, if any, between these stories and other encounters you see in the place where you work? 

-Erie Chapman

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6 responses to “Days 142-143 – Founding Story”

  1. Barb Turnblom-Mason Avatar
    Barb Turnblom-Mason

    I went to a womens retreat this past weekend and the main speaker, a female therapist and I have known each other for 7 years. She breeched confidentiality with me 6 years ago, so I keep distance between us. Im friendly, courteous, but keep a little space between us. She was not really known to more than 3 or 4 other women, as she herself keeps everyone slightly afar. The topic for the weekend was attachment. We see how we communicate today and can trace it back to the attachments we had and didnt have as very young women.
    Saturday morning she blurted out that 2 weeks prior she had gone through a bilateral mastectomy for stage 2 breast cancer. You could tell she had kept this to herself, she was very uncomfortable sharing. But even more important, her awkwardness screamed for companionship. She has no children, her husband has a very busy life.
    The one thing I knew is that above my need for distance, she needed someone to hold her. She has always been the women in charge and now she has no control. she felt alone and her coping mechanism was push people away, because they probably arent up to the task.
    Some how I was able to reach out, I went to her room. Everyone else was in shock and didnt really know what to say. I didnt say anything, I listened to her story. I gave her a sacred moment, place to just speak her story, to vent. She had kept all this inside, she is strong, needs no one, no help. But the reality was she was fragile, broken, cracked and needed to speak. I put my own negative experience aside and gave her a moment in time. I prayed with her.
    Side note, because of her strong abrasive personality (a front) she is vulnerable. She needed validation that she was accepted, loved and heard. I dont regret it.

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  2. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    Thank you for this story; I’ve seen the framed Golden Thread of Loving Care in a nearby office and wondered about its history.
    While I have no encounters to share, I do know of an unamed caregiver who quiety stepped outside of her role to assist a patient who suddenly appeared at the office with a wound care issue. The woman was in discomfort and in need of help and fresh bandages. While some employees were unsure how to handle this situation, the loving caregiver stepped out to assist this woman. There are questions on rather this was innapropriate, given the setting. Nonetheless, this Angel’s heart knew the need and quickly responded.
    This sacred encounter stays with me and I hope that if given the chance, I will be there to give spontaneous support to someone, too.

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  3. www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1063292061 Avatar

    I wish to share an excerpt from a journal entry written by a nursing student. She describes her day accompanying an exceptional nurse Katie Hatfield RN.
    “Spending the day with an RN for St. Joseph’s Home Health was an amazing experience. It was a day I had been looking forward to ever since I signed up for it, but I had no idea how much it would profoundly touch my heart.
    We followed up with a few more home visits with one that particularly made an impact on me. It was a patient who had just undergone a kidney transplant the week before and was already home recuperating. While we were there, the patient shared her story with me; five years of dialysis, the nature of her donor, and how she planned to deal with her recovery. As her husband and teenage son looked on, all I could think about was the painful experience they must have had to watch their loved one go through this, and then I thought, how beautiful it was to see them all together as she entered her road to recovery.
    Our final stop was a palliative care visit. Initially, I thought I wanted nothing to do with end of life care, and I’m still not sure if I do, but this visit was painfully moving. It was a very sad situation with the accelerated deterioration of a wife and mother. The RN I followed was particularly impressive. She was extremely compassionate while effectively communicating with the husband and adult son. She clearly addressed the emotions that they may be feeling and I felt that I could literally see some of the pain lift from their hearts. To watch the RN interact with this family was truly beautiful and a wonderful end to our day together. When we left the house I was overcome with emotion and cried.
    At first it felt strange to be out of the hospital setting, but being in patient homes ended up feeling surprisingly comfortable. In the end, it was clear that my comfort level had a lot to do with the RN I was with. In fact, as much as I enjoyed the home visits, the patient stories and family interaction, I was most impacted by the nurse. It was evident that her intelligence, upbeat personality, and sense of compassion translated through her work and on to her patients. I’ve been told to take cues from great nurses along my journey and she will definitely be among them.”
    Written by Stephanie Kelman, Nursing Student
    ~liz

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  4. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    I loved reading all 4 of these stories. I hope I will always remember the x-ray technician who reached out in kindness to me when my mother was near the end of her life.

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  5. ~Suan Beng Geh Avatar
    ~Suan Beng Geh

    “Love means helping other people no matter what” In my experience working in the hospital setting as well as in the home care setting I find that it is easier to provide and see Radical Loving Care provided in the latter as there is less structure. Family members try their level best to provide loving care. I was a Hospice volunteer to a patient who had a brain tumor and was discharged to the home as she gradually succumbed to the disease process in spite of medical intervention. The patient’s dtr stopped working and patiently gave both physical and emotional care to her dying mother and the other family members co-ordinated care during the transition. I was there to give support and nursing advise when needed. Through the whole process I saw what sacrificial love the family members gave to this woman-from husband, to daughters, sons and church members through prayer and support. What comfort the patient must have felt during her last days.

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  6. Marily Avatar
    Marily

    Yes Rev. Erie, there are lots of common loving expressions that I notice more and more as I put my attention on this love energy.
    When we care for our patients, though each person expresses it on different levels, it is there that keeps our hospital or any place, a healing sacred space.
    I see it in how we nurture each other, when we share our tragic events, concerns and prayers are offered; when we celebrate special days like birthdays, baby’s arrival, bridal shower, a welcome or a retirement party, or even when our traveler nurse finishes a contract, we take time to get together in any special way like a potluck etc. and many more.
    Claiming these expressions can increase the awareness of radical loving care’s presence among us in our workplace. How would I do this, I want to explore more.

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