"The definition of a long marriage is having the same argument over and over again," -attributed to Prince Rainier of Monaco
The above observation from the late prince (married to the famous movie star, Grace Kelly, at left with two of their children) rings true, doesn't it? Interesting to me is that it was my wife of forty-four years who brought this quote to my attention.
We have the same arguments with family and friends because we are forever wondering why we can't change them. Why don't they realize that they need to be prompt and not late? Why don't they understand that we want short explanations not long ones? Why don't they remember that we don't want butter on our toast or cream in our coffee?
Why don't our fellow caregivers understand that they need to be loving in the way we are? Why are they forever repeating to us things we already know as if we were children?
Of course, we really can't change how others think. If we are looking for success in our relationships, it is usually we that need to change.
You and I already know this. To a surprising degree, our knee-jerk irritation with friends and family occurs, in all likelihood, because we know them the best. It is our through our long term relationships that we see long term repetitions of things we don't like.
But, here is the good news. We also see repetitions of the things we love the most. Our friends and family bring light and Love into our lives. When those we love enter the rooms of our lives, our energy rises.
Naturally, Love calls us to care for the unlovable, no matter how we are treated. Yet, it is a gift to be able to experience the love of those with whom we have bound our lives most permanently.
Loving the unlovable is so much easier when we are surrounded, most of the time, by those who are easy to love. This is true even if they do roll the toothpaste the wrong way and want to know if we want butter on our toast.
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
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