Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Maslow What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.  – – Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

   Here it is, the formula for our transformation in one sentence. Maslow’s statement may be true, but this level of actualization is hardly as simple as his words suggest. In fact, Maslow placed it toward the top of his hierarchy of human needs – the last layer before transcendence.(click on image to enlarge) How do we change our awareness of ourselves for the better?

   This process is critical for caregivers because, by definition, caregivers are engaged in helping other people through times of great change. If I come to you in need of loving care and your self image is that you are not a very loving person, we’ve both got a problem.

   One of the core truths in our teaching at the Healing Trust is that, Where attention goes, energy flows. I have repeated this statement to audiences and to myself thousands of times. Each time, the truth of it ripples through me with renewed power. I know I need to periodically check my attention because it is so easy for it to turn negative, stirring poison within. As Maslow suggests, if I’m feeling negative energy, it’s time for me to change myself by becoming aware of my thoughts and the circling of my energy.

   The best, short term way to reverse negative thinking is NOT to tell yourself to quit thinking a certain thought but to replace negative thinking with positive thinking – to repleace negative images with postive ones. If I try NOT to think a negative thought, this means I must first think of it again. If I REPLACE the negative thought with a postive one, the negative image fades back, even though it may not disappear. It requires a new awareness, a new set of what Peter Senge called "mental models" for us to change long ingrained awareness patterns.

  So, longer term, what is my basic awareness of myself? If I think of myself as generally discouraged, how do I change that? One way, of course, is to consciously turn my energy toward something postive.

  As a simple example, on the way to work yesterday morning, I caught myself in a negative thought pattern about a person in my life I find troublesome. I realized my body was tensing as if headed into battle when in fact I see this person rarely and knew I would not even see him. Why am I allowing this person to dominate my moods and cause my tension to rise?

  I needed to be aware of what was happening and identify it as a negative thought pattern. Next, I needed to change my awareness – either to think of this person in a new way (the best choice) or to consciously think of something else.

   In that particular case, I took an easy way out. I simply turned on some of my favorite classical music and let my attention move to the flow of the notes. My anxiety began to ease immediately and soon my awareness was postive and productive. In addition, I regained perspective. There was no need to let another person control the balance and agenda of my day.

   It’s not always that easy. But practicing this approach in simple situations may help us when we deal with more complex problems.

   Practice. Meditate. Become aware of yourself as touched by a Divine Spark. As a carrier of Love, you carry beauty within you! Integrate this image into an new self-image. With practice, your sense of Love will increasingly shine through your eyes and through all aspects of life. You will be more aligned with God.

-Today’s Poem – from David Whyte:

Enough

Enough. These few words are enough.

If not these words, this breath.

If not this breath, this sitting here.

This opening to the life

we have refused

again and again

until now.

Until now.

   

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5 responses to “The Magic of Awareness”

  1. liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network, Orange, CA Avatar
    liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network, Orange, CA

    Music is medicine for soul
    Touches heart beyond words
    Befriends in alone
    Sooths frayed edges
    Gathers in body to spirit
    Heals with a chord

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  2. Sonya Jones Avatar
    Sonya Jones

    How often have I lost an opportunity for happiness and contentment by allowing negative self talk to dominate my thoughts?No one can get me in a bad mood as quickly as I can, therefore, the opposite should also be true. The title of this meditation at first seems that awareness is easy. Upon contemplation I begin to think in terms of the magical results of awareness. It isn’t always easy but as with any conscious decision we make, over time it becomes more natural. I still don’t believe that it is necessarily easy because we have so many distractions but just as with “being present,” the effort is definitely worth the end result. Even if it means taking the easy way out today, I will be more aware of my thoughts and spend that energy in a positive way. Thank you for again bringing the obvious to my attention. I cherish this meditation time daily.

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  3. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    A wise teacher of mine in middle school would say to us “stand back and watch yourself walking down the hall”. At that time, I didn’t quite get what she was saying to me. But of course she was trying to instill within me an awareness of how I am perceived by other people. What I have learned in graduate school reinforces this principle through the Johari window example wherein each of us has blind areas that we don’t see that others can plainly see. Beyond that there is a portion of our lives that we can’t even envision yet. Our potentialities that are out there on the horizon that we have yet to obtain. Of course to get to this level, like self-actualization of Maslow’s model, is to have a practice that dedicates itself to our own self-awareness. Not only that, but then to be responsive to those areas that may not look so great on closer examination. There are many many areas in my personal life in which I need help in my awareness around my blind spots. I am grateful to loving people who will hold up the mirror to me in an effort of helping me through the uncharted territory.
    Karen York
    Alive Hospice, Nashville

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  4. Kathy Parolini Avatar

    The beauty of having a 16-year old is my awareness is much more keen and my blind spots are brought to light. There is generally a mirror held up to me on a daily basis. I am left to decide what I want to see.
    Kathy Parolini

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  5. liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network, Orange, CA Avatar
    liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network, Orange, CA

    When I wrestle with internal conflict, I experience uncomfortable feelings and sometimes-great anxiety. My first inclination is to get rid of these feelings by pushing them away or stuffing them down. In my confusion, a voice within tells me, “Lean into it Liz, you need to be with this.” For the best way to relieve pain is to enter in and move through it to the other side.
    I appreciate the perspective you offer, Erie, to replace negative thought patterns with positive ones, as it may be helpful in getting “unstuck.” When a conflict arises with another person sometimes, I make assumptions based on previous interactions. Yet, I wonder, if I challenge myself to keep my heart open could I begin to see the other person in a different way? Would I be able to find some common ground and begin to make progress? I am not sure; it can be very difficult but I know it is worth my effort.

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