As an experiment today, I would like to invite readers to offer comments on whatever issue they find of interest in caregiving.
Journal of Sacred Work
Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.
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22 responses to “Open Forum”
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“…Only love is eternal, far-reaching, able to speak all languages, transcend all barriers…” These words were part of a poem I wrote as a gift to our sister hospice in South Africa. The devastation of poverty and AIDS in their region is beyond our ability to understand. Yet our hearts understand for we are all called to do the same work, to comfort, to heal, to love, to be partners in hope.
In our own four walls we care for people who are shouldering demons of neglect, abuse, hatred, not to mention their terminal illness that brought them to us in the first place. I have watched caregivers here break through those barriers and offer a kind word, a warm embrace, a sweet smile. The kind of caregivers who learn some Mandarin so they can speak to a patient in her tongue. The kind of caregiver who doesn’t give up on a German family who is uncertain of trusting the social worker from hospice. So he listens to their stories and brings a pair of ice skates to them as this is a beloved part of their history and who they are. The kind of caregiver who sits beside a coworker broken with grief at the loss of a brother.
Love speaks all languages and transcends all barriers. Yet we must be willing to be the vehicle for its mighty force.
KarenLikeLike
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I really like Karen’s comment about her work at a hospice and the role of love. The more I read this column, the clearer it becomes that nothing matters more than our love for others. It’s the only special thing about us and the best gift we have to offer.
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Presently, I am keeping in close contact with my friend and colleague while her husband is seriously ill and hospitalized. On several occasions, at different times of day, I have called her cell phone and left a message. No sooner do I hang up and my phone rings, discovering it is my friend calling me. Last night I attempted to call her and again my phone rang within one second of hanging up. I asked, “Oh, did you get my message that I am trying to call you.” She said, no she had not. Then I mentioned this frequent occurrence when I placed calls to her this past week. Her response, “Oh well, they say our communication is through electrical currents. May-be we are communicating when we don’t even know it.”
Chalk it up to coincidence but I believe there is more to it.
Carl Jung defines this phenomenon of meaningful coincidences that manifest in our daily lives as synchronicity. Jean Bolin MD depicts these interconnections that occur between others and ourselves as a window into awareness that we are a all part of something that is much greater than we are.
I wonder if these events don’t occur more often than we realize, or that we are willing to acknowledge. Perhaps, if we were more sensitive and attuned to these events, would we perceive them as clues or signs we that are meant to guide us. Bolin describes this as an intuitive principle in our lives in which we can find a “path with heart” that helps us to live in harmony with our universe. Call it a guiding force, angels, or God helping to connect us to what we need most in our lives.
These lyrics come to mind for me.
“It’s just amazing grace
It’s just amazing mercy
It’s just amazing love to me.”LikeLike
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Karen,
I would love to read the rest of the poem you wrote and I hope you will share it. Thanks for your inspiring message of love.
lizLikeLike
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Thanks for the chance to comment. I appreciate this column and the comfort you offer for solo caregivers like me. One of the hard problems you haven’t addressed before (as far as I know) is the terrible paperwork in medical care. I feel like I spend half my day trying to fill our Medicare forms when I should be doing more for my sick wife. I’m glad to have some medical coverage, but there are things Medicare doesn’t cover that are expensive for people on fixed incomes. I also worry about all the people with no coverage at all. I really think we need a single payer system to cover everybody. We could have easily afforded this if we hadn’t wasted all those billions in the Middle East. Anyway, thanks for the chance to comment.
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Liz:
I appreciate your sharing of the connectivity you are having with your friend. I believe they are occuring all the time, yet we are often too busy to notice. Our practice towards presence guides us to these astonishing moments. When we fill our days with busy work and aren’t attuned to our intuition, we risk missing those seemingly serendipitous moments.
Thank you for the comment on the poem. Here it is in its entirety.
Partners in Hope
We can only imagine what it is like to be a hospice in South Africa.
We hear stories, see pictures of AIDS’ devastation,
wag our heads in disbelief for
our minds cannot grasp the sheer numbers.
Yet our hearts understand.
We ache, for we share the same call
to comfort, to heal, to love.
Our hands stretch to yours
our sisters and brothers in a faraway land.
We stand side-by-side, arm-in-arm,
in our journey to relieve suffering.
Only love is eternal, far-reaching,
able to speak all languages, transcend all barriers.
May you receive our gifts of love
as we have received yours.
Together we are partners in hopeLikeLike
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Karen,
Thanks for sharing your poem, your gift of love…
lizLikeLike
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Mr. Hayes,
I am appreciative of your comments. Yes, the paperwork in health care is overwhelming. Our clinicians fill out a 13 page assessment form required by Medicare to initiate home care services. The regulatory requirements continue to increase with new form added upon new form, all taking time away from caregiving.
I agree with you a single payer system could really help to simplify some of this. It is sad to think that there are over 44 million people in our country without health insurance.
I am glad you have posted on the Journal again as I have wondered about you and your wife and how you both are.
Blessings to you for your devotion and the loving care you provide to your wife.
lizLikeLike
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I read Liz Wessel’s comments with great interest. The whole concept of coincidences and synchronicity is intriguing and eerily (or perhaps, illuminatingly)right on the money. I am one of those people to whom coincidences occur regularly. Of course, by the nature of my personality, I would like to explain these coincidences, as they don’t feel as if they were “by chance.” They usually bring with them a message or truth which is far more significant than the actual event of the coincidence itself.
Liz mentions Carl Jung, who also spoke about the collective unconcious, that part of us hidden, yet brought to life in times usually characterized by high stress or crisis, in which deep truths are brought to light. What if this collective unconscious is just another name for that part of us which is comprised of our souce: the part which is divine and perfectly spiritual? Would it not benefit us to cultivate this “intuition,” if you will, to operate that way as continually as possible?LikeLike
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I am further intrigued by Bobbye’s comments on Liz’s earlier writings. In my eternal quest for who I really am, I find myself shaped by each role I play. For example, I am different in my role as Mom than I am as a VP at Hospice. If I am attuned to my true self and not allow my circumstances to dictate who I am, then there should be at least some similarity in my actions at all levels. How does that translate then, to who I am when I’m alone. What if I didn’t have anything and found myself without those roles that sometimes define me. Would that divine spark which is perfectly spiritual be the same? In my quest to cultivate and remain true to this intuition, I sometimes trip over what I perceive others expect of me, rather than listening to the whisper of my spirit.
KarenLikeLike
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When thinking about the insightful comments shared by Bobbye and Karen I thought of the ways, we are all interconnected in the web of life and I wanted to share these reflections with you…
“Then I was standing on the highest mountain of them all, and round about beneath me was the whole hoop of the world. And while I stood there I saw more than I can tell and I understood more than I saw; for I was seeing in a sacred manner the shapes of all things in the spirit, and the shape of all shapes as they must live together like one being. And I say the sacred hoop of my people was one of the many hoops that made one circle, wide as daylight and as starlight, and in the center grew one mighty flowering tree to shelter all the children of one mother and one father. And I saw that it was holy… But anywhere is the center of the world.”
Black Elk
“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
Carl JungLikeLike
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I would like to share this precious little story with you. On one of visits home to Vermont I was out on the back porch talking with my brother Tom. I remember it was a hot muggy summer evening, the rain was pouring down and it was loud. Tom said to me, “Do you ever dream about Dad or Philip (our father and brother are both deceased) or do you feel their presence? I do,” he exclaimed. He revealed that he had been feeling very discouraged when he heard Dad’s reassuring voice say, “Don’t worry, it will okay, just continue to look after your mother. Tom shot back, “Oh yeah Dad, well it is going to take more than that to convince me, I really need a sign, I need to see a four leaf clover!” You see my bother Tom or Thomas Patrick was born on St. Patrick’s Day.) Just then, he happened to glance down and low and behold, there was a four-leaf clover at his feet.
Seems like when we need it most God’s love manifests.LikeLike
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Week ends, a fast moving blur
Morning here alone with you
Time slows, as cord unwinds this heart
Numbness thaws, releases
Streaming salty tears
Catching as they fall
Small-cupped hands hold
Greets thee, oh cherished friend
Listen, speak your silence
Stark naked, penetrates these eyes
On this eve, meant to be memorable
Wondering
Heart held a different dream
How, let go
Child once, freely chooses his dream
Embrace, let go
Hands open, small pool of ocean
Gives way
Sweet stream of blessings flow
Blessing them
Letting go, back into your unending love
This I knowLikeLike
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Okay, I’ve been away at Mission and Mentoring and in back-to-back meetings afterwards. I cannot help but comment re: the threads in Karen’s and Liz’s messages. What we have concluded here, correct me if I’m wrong, is consequence seems to occur in those times when our conscious, or human, self collides with our unconscious/less recognized, spiritual self, and we become one with our source, God. Black Elk and Carl Jung get it. So do Karen and Liz. Basically, God says this:
BE STILL
Based on Psalms 46:10
“You bustle round most all the time,
Never do you contemplate,
If who you are is good and wise,
How you’ll live and what’s your fate.”
“You suspect most everyone,
Is all bad and can’t be good,
How will life be when you’re done,
If you can’t join the brotherhood?”
“Slow a bit now, sit awhile,
And take time to really think,
What you live for and just why,
For life’s through in just a blink.”
“Look outside yourself right now,
Leave your life to me, just watch,
It will change, I’ll show you how,
Be still, and know that I am God.”
As you are still and reflect, I believe you see that part of you that is him. He’s just trying to show us.
Do you agree? Thanks for this opportunity, and thanks for the wisdom in us all.
BobbyeLikeLike
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Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem and your reflections on the meaning of psalms 46:10. Yes, I do agree Bobbye, it seems that the more I slow down and take the time to sit in God’s presence the greater my sense of gratefulness. More and more I feel God’s presence in everything I do. I am learning a great deal, at times I find it difficult to be with my more painful emotions but I know they are meant to get my attention, wake me up so to speak, and I know there is a lesson there for me. Hence, the saying “growing pains” becomes ever clearer to me. All in all, I find it is all rather encouraging.
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Всем привет!
Хорошая погодка нынче
🙂LikeLike
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Всем привет!
Хорошая погодка нынче
🙂LikeLike
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Международные Дни памяти и примирения отмечают ежегодно 8 и 9 мая. Памятные даты провозгласила Генассамблея ООН в 2004 году, в честь 60-летия окончания Второй мировой войны. Эти дни — дань памяти всем жертвам Второй мировой. Также в воскресенье в Европе отмечают День Победы. Акт о безоговорочной капитуляции был подписан 8-го мая, в 22:43 по центральноевропейскому времени.
В Москве в это время было уже 9 мая. Поэтому в России и странах ближнего зарубежья торжества в честь праздника Победы пройдут в понедельник, сообщает «Россия-24».LikeLike
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Международные Дни памяти и примирения отмечают ежегодно 8 и 9 мая. Памятные даты провозгласила Генассамблея ООН в 2004 году, в честь 60-летия окончания Второй мировой войны. Эти дни — дань памяти всем жертвам Второй мировой. Также в воскресенье в Европе отмечают День Победы. Акт о безоговорочной капитуляции был подписан 8-го мая, в 22:43 по центральноевропейскому времени.
В Москве в это время было уже 9 мая. Поэтому в России и странах ближнего зарубежья торжества в честь праздника Победы пройдут в понедельник, сообщает «Россия-24».LikeLike
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Translation:
International Days of Remembrance and Reconciliation celebrate each year on 8 and 9 May. Dates to remember the UN General Assembly proclaimed in 2004 in honor of 60 anniversary of the end of World War II. These days – a tribute to all victims of World War II. Also on Sunday in Europe celebrate Victory Day. Act of unconditional surrender was signed on May 8, at 22:43 CET. In Moscow at the time it was already May 9. Therefore, in Russia and CIS countries the celebration of Victory Day will be held on Monday, said “Russia-24 “.LikeLike
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Translation…
Hello!
The weather is good todayLikeLike
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