Journal of Sacred Work

For I am the least of the apostles, unfit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. 1 Corinthians 15:9

We can certainly imagine why Paul would write what he did. Before his miraculous conversion, he had persecuted Christ’s followers as had so many of his peers, whipping Christians, encouraging their crucifixion, and doing his best to stamp out the nascent Christian movement. Yet we know he also became one of the most. His writings occupy a substantial portion of the New Testament. He worked tirelessly for the cause of Christianity and gave his life as a martyr…

   Paul went from one of the most unfit to one of the most impressive of the apostles. In doing this, he realized it was not him, but God working through him, that enabled his rise to immortality.

   What does this mean for the rest of us? What could our lives be if we let God work through us?

   Some of you may have already allowed this to happen in your life. God works through us whenever we get out of the way and allow this to happen. This means letting go of ego. The moment we do this in favor of God’s Love, we find ourself acting to help the other – to live love, not fear. Fear cannot live in a person who live’s love. The loving person, while living love, can fear nothing because he or she is not thinking of the self.

   I know how unrealistic it sounds that we could fear nothing. At the same time, it makes perfect sense. How could someone be afraid if they are thinking only of the other? For most of us, this is a transitory state. We think of the other momentarily before we return to the self. A mother frees herself from fear when she intercedes herself between her child and danger. When the danger passes, her natural fear for herself returns.

   It is in the nature of each of us to fear for our safety. That is why, so often, we can feel like Paul that we are unfit to think of ourselves as true Christians. Christianity is such a difficult faith. It calls us to do things that are unreasonable if we are thinking from our ego.

   In our ego-centered state, the idea of loving our enemies and letting others take from us is absurd. In our Christian-centered state, loving our enemies makes perfect sense

   Today, in America and elsewhere in the world, tens of millions will engage in a strange, ego-centered ritual. I will be one of them. It’s Superbowl Sunday. Those who care about the outcome of the game will cheer for their team and, in a way, hate the other team. Chicagoans will scream for the victory of the Bears, Indianans will cheers for their Colts to triumph. You may even see fans praying to God for victory. (Can you imagine God’s response to such nonsense? Do fans really think God’s has a preferred team?)

   The difference between the Superbowl and ancient gladiatorial contests is only one of degree. Hopefully, no one will die on behalf of their team (although it’s possible.) And the pageantry of the Superbowl contest will exceed anything that Romans could have imagined.

   As we express our human desires, we may, at some moment, step back and recognize ourselves as, sometimes, silly expressions of life’s longing for itself. We may forgive ourselves for only being human when, in fact, the ultimate expression of humanity is to live for the other.

  Christianity is a difficult faith to practice.