We can choose our best day and it can be today – and every day thereafter. – Erie Chapman
If you could design your best day, What would it look like? Several friends
have answered my question by describing
people they would want to be present, the place they want to be, the kind
of food they’d like to have, what they would want to do, what the weather would be like.
It’s like that old question posed to prisoners on the night before
they’re executed. What would you like to have for your last dinner?
But when we come up with our answers to questions like these, do we then live them out?
An energy bar maker designed a commercial around the idea of a best day (left). They came up with an obvious that is nevertheless worth considering. Have we been showing up for the mornings of our lives?
It’s hard to think of a hospital or clinic as a place to have a best day or a best dinner. My dear old friend, Marian Hamm, Chief Nursing Officer at two of the hospitals I was privileged to lead, was fond of pointing out "there has never been a good day in a hospital. People are sick and often in pain." Except for the births, there’s often not a lot of happiness in hospitals…
Certainly, no one would say on a Saturday night that the most fun thing to do would be to check into the hospital.
Unless we discover we’re terminally ill, few of us meditate on the way
we would live our best twenty-four hours. If we engage this reflection,
we might be surprised with the image that emerges.
When we think of the best days we’ve already
lived, how many of them were planned? A wedding, perhaps. But was this your best day as a spouse, or was it some other occasion spent as a couple? A better
day may have been the birth of children or the occurrence of some
unexpected happy news.
I’m astonished at the impact of weather on the quality of people’s days – as if it’s impossible to have an enjoyable day if it’s snowing, too cold, too hot, too rainy. Yet people in nice weather states like California and Florida do not seem to be appreciably happier than people in colder states.
Neither weather, nor money, nor health, nor even the company present are automatic guarantors of the quality of a day. It’s startling for some to realize that the weather may be perfect, health ideal, bank accounts full , loved ones nearby. And yet in the middle of this, we may discover we’re somehow unhappy.
Conversely, the weather may be lousy, our health poor, our bank account slim and the circle of people around us may be strangers. Yet it is possible for this to be one of our best days. I have seen people with cancer who have have told me how their disease was a blessing and how happy they felt in the company of caregivers who were no more than acquaintances.
Here is the best answer I’ve heard to the best day meditation. It is from people who recognize that best days may have little to do with who’s there, what we do, or what we eat or drink.
Best days are not about what happens but about our attitude toward what happens? It’s Art Linkletter’s old line that things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.
But, this is just a pat theory, isn’t it? We don’t end up with our finest day just by telling ourselves to "make the best of whatever happens."
Still, our opportunity for better days will be greatly enhanced if we take the time to sincerely reflect on our life attitude and how we are living our days right now.
I am often surprised at how cautiously I approach much of life. Others don’t seem to think this about me since I to attempt lots of different things. Therefore, I’ve had lots of failures. I’ve written books and poems that have been rejected. I’ve been fired from jobs I loved. I’ve failed important exams. During my youth, I felt rejection in romance. I’ve experienced the death of loved ones. And, at nineteen, I was handed a diagnosis of a chronic, and likely life-shortening illness.
Every one of these set-backs, and plenty of others, delivered painful days to me. Telling myself to make the best of things did not make this pain go away. But they didn’t cause me to give up seeking.
It’s hard to know what a best day looks like unless we’ve had some bad ones. Experience continues to be a more powerful teacher than advice columns or ancient wisdom or even religion. I know lots of wise and faithful people who allow their worst days to shadow their lives.
Wisdom’s teaching is clear. A best day is any one we choose to treat as a blessing. Our best days are the ones we fill with gratitude. Our best days are flooded with love both given and received.
How we choose to live our best days can be a mirror for how we are choosing to live our entire lives. So there is no need for "best time" to be limited to twenty-four hours. The choice is how to live our "best life."
Love is the energy that determines our best days and the quality of our lives. The more we cultivate it, the more we are likely to help create the best for others. And the more we will discover, perhaps to our surprise, that any day filled with love is the best time of our lives.
If we choose, that time could be today – and it could be every time thereafter that we choose to live well in the presence of our now.
Questions for Reflection:
- What are the thoughts that help enrich the quality of your life experience?
- Where do these thoughts come from?
- For what are you grateful – and to whom?
- How do you feel when you reflect on the gifts of your life?
- If you consciously practiced the gift of gratitude, how might it change your life?
-Erie Chapman
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