We all harbor secrets. Caregivers harbor more than most for they hold the secrets of patients as well as their own. Caregivers are present to others at their most vulnerable times. Whether under the influence of pain, drugs, loneliness, childbirth or imminent death, caregivers are the keepers of intimate sharing.
Secrets have a kind of temperature. Some are trapped in the caves where we have tried to bury them. Others, the happier ones, bloom within like flowers in our own secret garden – private memories we visit when the world without looks barren.
Still other secrets rage within us like wild animals. They eat away at our souls until finally we may feel we need to open the cage door to release them. This is the phenomenon that has given birth to the modern talk show – Oprah Winfrey at the gracious end of the spectrum, Jerry Springer at the circus end….
What is the temperature of your secrets? The confidences shared with you by patients in intimate times may be part of the rich fabric of your life – the things you consider when you hear yourself say: "i could write a book…" But you won’t, because you will honor what your patients have shared with you and you alone.
Caregiving is sacred work in part because of the privacy of the experience. You enter another’s life as a stranger and rapidly learn some of the most personal aspects of that person’s life.
Perhaps, at this moment, your mind is scanning some of the stories that have come before you. But this is really about your story. Are their secrets that are weighing you down as well as private memories that buoy you? For the matters that sit on your shoulders as lead weight, is there anyone with whom you might share this weight?
Talk shows aside, we live in an age where secret-sharing with trusted counselors is easier now than it has ever been. There is no longer any need to hide our troubles. Sharing with a counselor is the beginning of the process. From there, a new opportunity awaits you to craft a new life free of some of the dragons that may have threatened you for years.
This is an invitation, not a command. As a caregiver that has listened to so much from others, is it time to unburden your heart to someone who might help you? Would this process of sharing enable you to live a better and more fulfilling life?
-Erie Chapman
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