Journal of Sacred Work

Vitamins didn’t help. She would stand in doorways trying to figure out where she
was going. She forgot to turn on the burner under the vegetables or put water in
the coffeemaker.   
-from The Bear Came Over the Mountain, by Alice Munroe (photo at left)

   The story quoted above, and the astonishing gem of a film derived from it, "Away From Her" (now in theaters), are spiritual experiences for anyone with an open heart. The story of a woman descending into Alzheimer’s is never limited to the individual, but always engages a kaleidescope of others. And that is the fascination that makes this film a masterpiece.
   The saddest thing about this brilliant movie is that so few people are likely to see it. And yet every caregiver needs to. If you check the popular movie website, Rotten Tomatoes, you will find that it has received a stunning 95% rating meaning that percent of the nation’s reviewers have given it a top rating. Among the biggest papers, the total rating is 100% positive. Why do the critics love this film?…

   As with any important artistic work, it would be wrong to classify "Away From Her" as an "Alzheimer’s movie." This is an engrossing story of relationships.

   And since this is not a movie review, we may say that the caregiver relationships are particularly affecting. The great and still gorgeous Julie Christie plays the tragic figure  of Fiona who says, midway into her illness, "I feel as though I’m disappearing." Gordon Pinsent, in the part of her husband, is such an elegantly powerful actor that it’s tragic American audiences have rarely seen him. As he watches his wife "disappear," we witness the portrait of a deeply caring man, baffled, heartbroken and guilt-ridden by his wife’s descent. Across a forty-four year marriage, he knows he has not always been the mate his wife deserved. Now, as the disease steals her from him day-by-day, he can only bear witness and offer his mostly mute but always loving presence.
   Inevitably, and because the film is an honest portrait, we are confronted with the well-meaning, but policy-obsessed supervisor of the "home" where Fiona is taken. Fortunately, we are also introduced to Kristy, a saint of a caregiver who serves as a model of loving care. Both characters are archetypes – the part of the supervisor all to common, the role of Kristy all too rare.
   Yes, this film will be poignant for anyone who has watched Alzheimer’s steal away a loved one. As my wife and I watched this illness rob her mother’s memory, page by page, we were confronted by the confusing image of a once saintly woman whose face we recognized by whose mind graduatlly departed. We were like a family that shivers in the night as their beloved home burns to the ground.

   But the reason to see "Away From Her" (and to read the story) centers on more than sentiment. This movie holds the ability to move us to the core of our humanity. Writer-Director Sarah Polley (left) guides us with her genius through each chapter of the story with such grace and honesty that we are compelled to reflect on a pair of heart-shaking questions: What is the relationship between love and memory? When memory goes, what happens to love?
   I can’t think how to answer these questions other than to encourage you to find the time, the wisdom and the courage, to experience "Away From Her."