Journal of Sacred Work

10 responses to “Open Forum on Loving Care”

1. 

   Edwin Loftin

   June 29, 2007

   My first lesson in Loving Care occured in 1980. My teacher was my patient Mr Grey. I was working as an “orderly” at the time in my home town hospital and during this time Mr Grey was admitted for “breathing problems”.
   I had known him most of my life as a fellow farmer in the community and had helped him with crops on many times. Mr. Grey had always been a stern, to the point person who did not have time for small talk (now this is not your usual farmers who can talk the day away).
   When I first saw Mr. Grey in the hospital something was different. I soon learned he had terminal cancer and most likely would not survive this admission. This made me very nervous and I did not like going into his room to care for him. One night he grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said “Edwin, I know why I am here I just need someone to to talk to and make me feel at home.” The ice broke and we spent the next 4 hours talking about farming and life. I left with a sense that caring for people was something noble and worthwhile. The next day when I came to work, the nurse took me straight to his room as he wanted to see me. When i arrived his wife was there and crying. Mr Grey spoke in a weak voice and thanked me for spending time. We all sat there for about an hour “just being”. Mr Grey then released his last breath in the most peacful encounter I have ever witnessed.
   Loving Care…..Mr. Grey provided it to me and helped me realize a calling.

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2. 

   liz Wessel

   June 29, 2007

   Your story is beautiful Edwin, thank you for sharing it. There are so many wonderful Loving people, and so many stories. I might just have to return later and share another, but for now…I guess I have to say my mom. I was 10 years old, hospitalized, and critically ill with meningitis. For 3 days she stayed by my side attempting to stay off death, until I turned the corner, and my condition improved. Her Loving presence was so comforting in my time of suffering. I remember her telling me she wished she could trade places with me. My mom taught me courage. I learned that in our darkest hours, sure, we may be scared, but it is when people need us the most. She taught me how to stay present and not run.

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3. 

   Diana Gallaher

   June 29, 2007

   I’m like Liz, there are so many loving people and stories. A powerful memory that comes to mind right now is one I have shared previously on this site. Frank is a retired Army chaplain and United Methodist pastor. He and his wife, Cornelia, are dear friends. With the impending death of my brother-in-law and my sister raising 3 children on her own, Frank silently and gently held my cupped hand across the dinner table as I sobbed. Minutes passed. No words were spoken. In this simple act, he demonstrated total presence to my pain.

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4. 

   J. C. M. Rivard

   June 29, 2007

   When I was in eighth grade, I had one of those superbestfriend-types of best friends named Angie. We used to pass notes back and forth every day in Science class. I was really surprised that she took any type of interest in some strange girl with a bunch of drug addict friends. Angie was a kind, loving, clean-cut girl who lived in a rich neighborhood. I was a poor, neglected, abused, latch-key kid with a serious attitude problem. Now, if you add the content of the notes to the picture, it was even stranger. I was always so concerned that the teacher would catch them only to discover that we spent all of Science class discussing religion. That is all we ever talked about in our notes. I had a strong interest in religion and she was devoutly religious. Before you know it, I was hanging out after school at Angie’s house every day. It was there that I met the most radiant example of loving care I have ever known on this planet, Angie’s mom, Nancy.
   If Nancy was ever horrified by me, she never showed it. Most parents took one look at me, saw what a mess I was and didn’t want their children around me. Nancy was the opposite. I was immediately welcomed in, offered food, asked about my day and then put to work. Nancy was eight months pregnant with her seventh child, so if you were going to hang around talking, you could work while doing so. Nancy was always even-tempered, loving, interested, organized and working hard. She could help four kids with homework, chase two more around and cook dinner all at the same time, with a smile on her face. What was even more miraculous to me was that I was allowed to stay. Every day after that, I would walk 2.5 miles to Angie’s house after school just so I could be around Nancy. Nancy didn’t seem to mind because I was more than willing to clean the house just to be part of the joyful, loving chaos. Then, after about two weeks, I started going on the weekends too. That is when Nancy looked at me and said “Dear, why don’t you go help out at your home?” and I told her that there was no one at my home that I wanted to be around. She then just looked at me and said, “Well, if you’ll be here on the weekends, you’ll have to come to church.” And that was that. I would meet their family at the church (which was quite close to my house) and then spend the day with them after that. I spent every day with them for the next year. Nancy loved me as if I was her own. I played with her small children while she gave neighborhood children piano lessons. We talked to each other in French. She truly cared for me. She even had the bishop of our church try to convince my mother to have me live with one of the families in the church after she found out that my mother had thrown me into the streets at age 12. While my mother refused, just the thought that these people really wanted to give me a home and really loved me meant everything. Nancy gave me a spiritual path that ended up saving my life many times and I learned what mothers were supposed to be like. For every kind word and every hug I give to my children, the memories of Nancy’s home are behind me, guiding me still to this day.

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5. 

   Karen York

   June 29, 2007

   What powerful stories you all have shared. I am very fortunate in that I have wonderful loving parents who lived love in our home. My mom taught me to look into the heart of people for beauty and to be empathetic to their situations. My dad is a soft and gentle spirit who adores my mom and always demonstrated a the power of being a loving soul. The best examples of loving care in a healthcare setting come from a nurse and an anesthesiologist while I was delivering my twins. At 38 weeks gestation, I suffered a very serious complication that caused massive bleeding. Time was of the essence in getting to the hospital and into surgery. I had lost a lot of blood and was shaking uncontrollably as I was being prepped. The nurse’s calm assuring presence was my lifeline. She found the warm blankets in the hospital and climbed onto the guerney with me while she enveloped me with the blanket and her body. She held onto me until I stopped shaking. She was a beacon of hope for me. The Anthesiolist’s skill and compassion led me step by step through a tricky ordeal. He was my guardian angel during that time. I will never forget them.

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6. 

   Mareanne Fontenette

   June 29, 2007

   Last week I witnessed a wonderful display of Love as I walked into the kitchen at work and discovered a surprise party was about to take place for the cleaning lady of our building. There were about 7 employees setting up food and a banner that said “Happy Birthday”. We all discussed how wonderful this woman is, how she takes such pride in her work and cares for us like family. During this discussion, one of the employees went and found her telling her we needed her immediately due to a big spill in the kitchen. With her usual smile, she came running with her mop, opening the door to hear “surprise”. Her true emotions of surprise and happiness were overwhelming, everyone began to tear up as she told us in broken english that no one had ever done anything so kind for her. What she doesn’t know is how grateful we are for the love and kindness she shows us everyday!

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7. 

   Maureen McDermott

   July 1, 2007

   What a joy to read these stories of loving care. It’s amazing isn’t it? Once we begin to look we see and then we experience radical loving care in many joy filled, generous and unassuming ways. My experience of loving care was during my recent experience of being on sabbatical. I travelled as a stranger into the lives of so many people. From them I experienced warmth, welcome, hospitality and loving care. I have returned to the land of my birth an enriched, graced and grateful human being because of the humanness and love I was given in abundance. O what a joy it has been. Thank you to all my angels on the journey of life.

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8. 

   Mareanne Fontenette

   July 2, 2007

   My Grandfather died when I was 12 years old. I remember that day vividly as he died the day after Christmas. I remember trying to help the younger kids understand why the adults were so sad and crying on Christmas day, and why Grandpa wouldn’t be at dinner. The day of his funeral there were lots of emotions, I remember tears of joy and sadness as people spoke about my Grandpa and his passing. As the graveside services began and people started to arrive I remember seeing my Grandmother get out of the limousine, she looked so sad – I began to walk towards her, she looked at me so sweetly, smiling at me with her beautiful baby blues. Suddenly to my horror she raised her fist to the sky telling my poor dead Grandfather “where he could go and that she would live their dreams with out him”. The next day I remember hearing a horn honking and all kinds of commotion going on outside. I ran outside to see my Grandmother coming out the side door of her new 30 foot RV! Again, she raised her fist to the sky and told my Grandfather “I’m doing it with out you Frank”! My grandmother was only 59 when my grandfather died, she had so much life left to live and she was not going to let his passing stop her. It took me a long time as a young girl to understand, admire and respect the strength she had. My Grandmother died last August a few months short of her 90th birthday. She left behind a long legacy of people whose lives she touched with her loving care. She lived life exactly how she wanted surrounded by her family and friends, the people she loved and valued so much. My grandmother traveled the country in her 30-foot RV, taking her grand-children camping, going to dances, playing bingo, teaching water aerobics and always sharing a laugh or two until she was 82 years old. She had the time of her life showing my Grandfather what he was missing! I still think about her everyday, but am so thankful for the blessings of love, strength, courage, and being true to oneself that she gave me!

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9. 

   D.Montalvo

   July 3, 2007

   Thank you Mareanne for such a wonderful story. Only yesterday I had a conversation with my friend (Liz) about when my days are over on this earth that I would be courageous. Knowing that I have made a difference in someone’s life. The story about your grandmother is just a reminder of how we are to live our lives, with love, strength and courage. Caring for those we love and leaving behind a legacy that will last forever in the hearts of those we have touch.

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10. 

    online_gamer

    December 27, 2010

    Авторы немного изменили систему боя. Теперь Лариска может прицеливаться и стрелять в двух разных врагов, которые ей угрожают. Это особенно полезно, если вы пытаетесь разобраться со стаями летучих мышей. Более того, Underworld дает Ларе липкие гранаты, позволяющие заранее планировать взрыв в той или иной локации.

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