Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Part of our mind is speaking, and the other part is listening. It is a big problem when [many] parts of your mind are all speaking at the same time.   Don Miguel Ruiz

Winters2
   In a futile yet dangerous effort to simplify the world, we often label other people by the personality characteristic that seems most prominent. If Judy is often sad, we may label her as depressed. If Bob laughs a lot, we may categorize him as always happy. This may be why people are surprised to discover that gifted comedians like Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters (left) also suffer from depression and alcohol abuse. How can this be when they are so good at making us laugh? We all have many voices within. And yet for some reason we seem to think that other people have just one – the one we usually hear…

   A river of melancholy may flow beneath the smiling face of the caregiver walking past you down the hallway. Sun may reflect light off the surface of troubled waters while a sea of problems may swirl beneath.
   It’s a special challenge for caregivers to sustain loving energy when personal problems may seem so overwhelming. I have been reading dispatches from a physician who works with Doctors Without Borders. His letters reflect the heart rending pain. A small child blinded by shrapnel in a civil war in Sri Lanka. A family plagued with dysentery from impossibly polluted water in the only available well. Starvation in Darfur.   
   And yet, through all of this, he maintains strength and focuses on giving the gifts of his skill and compassion. Perhaps he is sustained by knowing that he is giving the gifts of his love.
   I am often struck by how ineffective most "inspirational" writing is for people who are depressed. Cognitive ideas often don’t penetrate the cloak of depression that may lay across some hours of some days. We smile at acquaintances when we are crying inside. A chuckle may cover that burning lump in our throats that tells one part of our mind that the other part wants to cry.
   The only cure I know for heartache is not reading a list of bromides. It is to do what one wise friend told me recently. "You just keep trudging." In some moment, perhaps, the mind stops listening to the song of melancholy and instead latches on to some better and more joyful music.

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4 responses to “Our Voices”

  1. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    For whatever reason, I have had a day when the blues set in and I could not shake them. I reached out to friends through phone calls and meals, I exercised, I worked. No shaking it. I don’t want to succumb to it, but I also want to honor whatever is going on. I have a lot of change going on in my life – with excitement and for the good, I believe with new work, new home, new commitments. But change nevertheless and with that goodbyes, loss, etc. Still trying to figure it out. But for the time being, trusting. And mindfulness to gratitude.

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  2. liz Wessel Avatar
    liz Wessel

    A doctor who is able to be present and journey into the depths of despair to help relieve human suffering offers the ultimate act of Love.
    Our many voices, the image of a kaleidoscope comes to mind, one of many colors of light, shade, and complexity, a mix of a beautiful and intelligent design.
    Heartache and suffering… May I come and sit quietly beside you for a while to just be near?
    “Honor it,” I appreciate this thought, Diana.

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  3. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    I am currently plodding my way through a powerful, yet mysterious book entitled “The Power of Now – a Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle. I confess right up front that the first few chapters almost have me stumped. Although I understand and agree with the premise, it is most difficult to practice. The point so far is to observe ourselves thinking and feeling with the idea that we begin to understand and be present with what is there, not necessarily thinking our way out of it. In this view, the thinking mind (ego) prevents us from peace with our being. I bring this up to reinforce your idea of honoring and being present to the energy that flows through us – that turbulent river underneath the masks we wear to trudge through our day.
    For me, sometimes the act of trudging is what keeps me alive in the midst of dark times.

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  4. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    This is helpful, Karen. Thank you.

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