Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Columbusreplicaships
   As school children, we all sat in wonder at the courage, hardship and risks which Columbus and his sailors took as they sailed "toward the end of the world." I heard a comedian say recently that perhaps the natives would have been better off if they had employed some form of immigration control since the discovery of the Americas was at best a mixed blessing for the existing inhabitants!
   Putting this wry observation aside, it is remarkable to imagine what happens to explorers of any kind when they seek to tell us what they have discovered in their travels. Do you ever feel like this as a caregiver? If you have traveled close to a suffering patient with a heart filled with love, then you have experienced something that is very hard to retell. If you have tried to create anything meaningful you know the challenge of the artist…

   The best story to illustrate this is a famous allegory framed by Plato five hundred years before the birth of Christ. It is the Allegory of the Cave. As I recall this important story, some prisoners are tied to a rock at Plato_cave
the bottom of a cave. We are asked to imagine that everything these men know of the world is confined to what they can see in front of them in shadows cast on the cave wall. They are bound in such a way that they can’t even see each other. Accordingly, to these men, the world is two-dimensional.
    One day, a guide appears, releases one of the men, and introduces him to the fire that is casting the shadows. The guide leads the man up out of the mouth of the cave, all along describing to him the wonders of the world. Finally, the man emerges into the light. As his eyes adjust to new brightness, he sees trees, birds, and other beings. He continues to discover more and more until he reaches "full knowledge" symbolized by his ability to stare directly into the sun.
   PlatocaveNow he reaches a courageous decision. He decides to return to the bottom of the cave to share his discoveries with the two men that remain. Instead of being amazed and overjoyed, the two men react with ridicule and disgust and they accuse their former cave mate of being crazy. (for more, click on image, left, and visit the Cornell University web site as well as numerous others.)
   This, of course, is what happened to Socrates. When he shared his brilliant insights with ancient Greeks, he was forced to drink poison. The same kind of fate has befallen courageous "explorers" across history. When someone sees something we don’t and tries to tell us about it, we may choose to brand them crazy because it is so hard for us to leave the comfort zone of what we know.
   We often describe great artists as crazy. We sometimes treat heroes of caregiving the same way. Mother Theresa was initially ridiculed for pursuing a mission of serving India’s untouchables. Albert Schweitzer was branded as a ridiculous idealist for opening a hospital in the middle of a primitive part of Africa.
Leif
  My own father-in-law, Dr. Leif Lokvam, a successful surgeon, chose to carve six months from his Wisconsin medical practice to go to Viet Nam. He was sixty at the time. He wasn’t interested in politics. He just wanted to help. What do you suppose his fellow doctors thought? Many of them considered him a fool to do such a thing because his courageous act made them uncomfortable. Personally, I think some of his colleagues resented him for making them feel like privileged cowards (although he never, of course, said any such thing.)
   We underestimate the courage of Lovers. Great artists venture far beyond the boundaries where most of us would turn back. Lovers insist on keeping their hearts open even though they know they will often be broken.
   There are so many more forms of courageous exploration than those represented by people like Columbus. It can take as much courage to fully engage with any suffering being as it can to climb Mount Everest.
   And that is why Lovers are my ultimate heroes.

-Erie Chapman

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5 responses to “The Courage of Lovers”

  1. liz Wessel Avatar
    liz Wessel

    I am in awe of family members who navigate the unchartered waters with their loved ones who are experiencing life-threatening illnesses. I think of Baby Isabella’s parents who are by her side day and night, as she suffers through intense chemotherapy treatments for leukemia… And June who sits and reads to her beloved husband of 53 years, a renown physician, who now lies semi comatose in neuro ICU… And Marilyn an RN who will finish a 12-hour shift, then drive up to LA to spend another restless night in a recliner chair to be by her husbands side… And Mrs. J who tearfully explains to me (against the wishes of her son and MD) that she does not want her 94-year-old husband to be hospitalized and have a G Tube inserted for feedings. She shares an intimate testimony of love. “For selfish reasons I don’t want to let him go. I can’t imagine my life without him. I will miss him calling to me at night, ‘Jo.’ Yes? ‘Will you come and keep me company? Jo…I love you, Jo, you should come to bed it is getting late.’ Yet, I know what he wants and I need to let him go. I want him to stay at home and die in my arms.”
    These family members, they are my heroes.

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  2. Tom Knowles-Bagwell Avatar
    Tom Knowles-Bagwell

    The meditation this morning, along with Liz’s comments, are very moving to me.
    I have recently been reading a book on leadership entitled, “A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix,” by Edwin Friedman. In this book, Friedman argues that Columbus was the central character in pulling Europe out of the Middle Ages. And he says that it was Columbus’ willingness to do what no one had dreamed possible (or sane) that made him this sort of leader.
    Choosing to make LOVE our guide as care givers is a radical change of direction. But I’m with you, Erie, in believing that it is the right thing to do.

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  3. Jan Keeling Avatar
    Jan Keeling

    I always receive something from these meditations, and today’s meditation is no exception. It is very moving, and inspiring even to those of us who, on a smaller scale, sometimes don’t understand why we are not always encouraged to make love our guide. These stories show that even in the face of ridicule or criticism, courageous, loving, intelligent action is best.

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  4. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    I full heartedly agree that lovers are my heroes.

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  5. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    When I was in Divinity School at Vanderbilt, I recall the theologian, Sallie McFague, speaking about a group she belonged to that met once a year. She is an eco-feminist theologian and if I recall correctly, the gathering she was referring to was regarding the environment. She concluded, half jokingly, that one of the most important functions of the annual meeting was to affirm to one another that they were not crazy in their passion regarding the environment. I speak of this experience because as I read this meditation and the comments, I have the same response to this dialogue re: to the importance of making love our guide and experiencing lovers as heroes, even in the face of ridicule, criticism, and I would add, indifference. Thank you all.

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