Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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   One of the biggest challenges for caregivers is self-care. In the course of focusing on the needs of patients, co-workers, family and friends, self-care often gets lost. "I don’t have time to sit for five minutes with my eyes closed," caregivers often tell me.
   As a result, we see the development of the now well known syndrome called compassion fatigue. The answer is not to be found in simply squeezing out more time for yourself. It is important for caregivers to recognize the criticality of self-care. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re not going to be able to help others.
   Accordingly, today’s questions are: Do you think you are deserving of better self care? And what are you doing for your self care? Click on Comment, below, to post your responses….

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7 responses to “Friday Open Forum: Self Care”

  1. Tammy Roth Avatar

    I believe everyone is deserving of self care, and most all of us could do a better job of it. But, for those of us in caregiving professions I see it as an ethical responsibility of our jobs. Not only are we role models for our patients/clients but we are also in constant need of finding balance. For every ounce of energy we give to others, we need ways of refilling our bodies and souls. Otherwise, what is the quality of the care we are giving? How present can we really be if we haven’t first been present with ourselves? I find that the return on investment is incredibly high with self care. And, with consistent practice it changes from “I don’t have time to sit for 5 minutes, etc.” to “I can’t afford not to sit for 5 minutes.” Self care doesn’t have to be sitting in lotus position and chanting. It can be very simple things that bring a sense of peace in that moment. Cutting a few wildflowers and putting them in a tiny bud vase does wonders!

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  2. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    Taking care of ourselves is of vital importance, but often lost in the shuffle of multi-tasking and doing for others. Caregivers tend to feel guilty when they stop to do something for themselves rather than for someone else. I find rest and peace in reading poetry, journaling, walking in gardens, quiet meditation, visiting my favorite spa for a massage. None of those things do I do with the regularity that I should. However, when I slow my pace and soak in the wonders of my life, I am a better person to be around and can give more freely of myself.

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  3. Bobbye Terry Avatar
    Bobbye Terry

    I find that I have to continually remind myself to “self-administer” treatment. My self-care treatment takes the form of: 1) reading my “Upper Room” and/or Bible for a few minutes each day; 2)reflection on what I have read and emptying my mind of clutter so God can come to me in reflection; 3) using my driving time to and from work wisely, by listening to quiet music with a message, or more often, a book on my Ipod on CD, either inspirational or constructive in nature regarding my behavior or how I conduct myself in business. I am still not very good about going to the doctor like I should, however.
    Bobbye

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  4. Shirley Irby RN Avatar
    Shirley Irby RN

    Sorry I’m so late to the party, but I so enjoyed this weeks poetry and posts. It is such a good reminder of what is important to me in nursing. I want all nurses to hug the scared family member, all CEO to have the compassionate soul as their template. I want to work with Tammy Roth, and Tom Knowles, Erie, and Karen York, and Cathy Self. I have also visited the disappointment when a co-worker has commented on my rushed face and kicked myself, then picked myself up, and brushed off my wounded pride. So I read your words and I find the peace to follow nature. Like in the Poem, “Midsummer Prayer” I feel the buzz of putting love out there and letting love fall where it may, indiscriminately, and find simple joy when a patient tells me, like yesterday, “You have no idea how safe we feel knowing there is a service like yours.” It can be such a simple moment. As Whytes, “Midsummer Prayer” expressed.
    insubstantial
    discovery in flight. I’ll do the same,
    watch
    the shimmering dispersal of tented
    seeds
    lodge in the tangled landscape
    without
    the least discrimination. So let my own
    hopes
    escape the burning wreck of ambition,
    parachute
    through the hushed air, let them spread
    elsewhere,
    into the tangled part of life that refuses
    to be set straight.
    I loved this weeks meditations, Thank You All!

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  5. liz Wessel Avatar
    liz Wessel

    That word deserving, now therein lies the rub. An initial brush through this question and my mind’s voice responds, “No, there are so any more worthy of self care than me. How selfish and self absorbed to think that I might.” However, on second pass through, my heart responds wisely, “If I don’t love myself, who can I love?”
    For me self-care is a journey on a path of self-discovery. I find spending time in reflection, provides balance, and nurtures and energizes my spirit. The Journal is a powerful vehicle for this, so I thank you and the Journal contributors for this overflowing continuous gift!
    I wish to share this quote that really resonates with my thoughts and feelings today.
    Move into your truth as though it were an old house. Walk through each room. See, hear, and feel what it is to live there. Try to love what you find, and remember the words that come to you as you explore.
    If you embrace it, if you are faithful to it, your truth will reward you with unimaginable freedom and intimacy with yourself and others. You won’t land in world made to order; some people in your life may not like what you write. But those who remain will be allies, people who breathe deeply and listen. It will feel good to be seen completely and loved as you are.
    —John Lee, from Writing from the Body, excerpted from Art as a Way of Life.
    Wishing you all a great self-care weekend!

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  6. Tom Knowles-Bagwell Avatar
    Tom Knowles-Bagwell

    I love these open forums on Friday. Today I came late and heve gotten to read what others have written. I agree with you, Liz, the word “deserving” is what puts the rub in today’s question. It certainly challenges my own co-dependency. Of course, that’s a part of me that often needs challenging.
    I used to exercise regularly. That has slipped over the past year. I need to return to that discipline. I always felt better (and better about myself) when I exercised regularly. I also do something that is something I loved about myself as a child — I build wodden ship models. In the midst of doing a kind of work which rarely sees a finished product, I have found a way of finding the satisfaction of actually finishing something. And like those of us who write poetry, I have a piece of art (nautical art) when it’s done.
    I also love reading — all sorts of literature. Most of all, I love to read things that allow me to explore the depths of life’s meaning — you know, things like Harry Potter!
    Finally, I have been making the Journal a displine of self-care. I find what we are doing here to be an important part of my regular refueling.

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  7. alisa shackelford Avatar
    alisa shackelford

    thank you for this re: compassion fatigue….how timely and present ….and needed for those in caring professional callings…

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