Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Kirsten
   We mark special times in our lives with various kinds of anniversaries, some happy, some sad. We mark the days when people important to us were born and died; when important things have happened: weddings, graduation days, the date we first started a job, the day we started chemotherapy or stopped drinking, the end of a war.
   Anniversaries can be celebrations of the sacred.
   Forty-one years ago today my wife and I were married. The day doesn’t matter to anyone else but the two of us, and maybe to our children. I remember some of our previous anniversaries, like our twenty-second, partly because it marked the year when we had lived with each other longer than we had lived alone…. 

   When I was young, I so often thought of people my grandparent’s age as so old it was amazing they could breathe. Our American, youth-focused culture is so powerful that I didn’t realize it was possible to be joyful and comfortable and sixty years old all at the same time.
Hospice
  Anniversaries are so powerful that their occurrence can motivate us to live longer just so we can reach one of a particular kind. Heather was seventeen years old. She was a patient at Kobacker House in Columbus, part of the hospice program at Riverside Methodist Hospital when I was president there. Heather wanted to live to her eighteenth birthday. But that was more than six months away and doctors had told her she had only a couple weeks left.
   Three months later, a trio of doctors gathered at Heather’s bed to try and figure out how she was still alive. Six months later, on the eve of her birthday, Heather’s family gathered close to her. Her breath was shallow, she was wafer-thin. A moment after midnight, her mother said, "Happy Birthday, Heather." Her daughter died within moments of hearing those words. She was eighteen.
   Loving caregivers never underestimate the power of the will in healing.
   Sacred occasion may pass unrecognized. It is not the anniversary that creates sacred moments but the way the day is observed.
   It’s a lucky thing to be married to someone for a very long time. Luckier still is to know that you love that person more with each anniversary.

-Erie Chapman

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5 responses to “Anniversaries”

  1. liz Wessel Avatar
    liz Wessel

    Yes, I have seen the phenomenon you speak of many times whether it is a special occasion, waiting to say goodbye to someone, or some unfinished business. Often a person will hang on until a loved one tells them it is okay to go, as was the case with my dear father.
    Last night I was preparing for an upcoming meeting and I was looking for a reflection. I picked up your book “Caregivers Meditations” and began by reading the very last page. Then I thumbed through it and read a few others and I thought to myself what an extraordinary gift of Love. For those of you who have not discovered this beautiful book yet, I highly recommend it. The expression, “It is worth its weight in gold” surely holds true for this one!
    Congratulations to you and your beautiful wife, Erie. May you continue to bless each other for many years to come, as your precious lives unfold together entwined in the beauty of unending Love.
    “Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves.”
    ~Pierre Teilhard De Chardin

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  2. Tom Knowles-Bagwell Avatar
    Tom Knowles-Bagwell

    Congratulations, Erie! You’re so right about the importance of celebrating those important moments in our lives. I hope you enjoy today and all the memories it holds for you and your wife.

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  3. Jan Keeling Avatar
    Jan Keeling

    Congratulations to Erie and Kirsten! And thank you, Erie, for sharing this meaningful meditation with us on this day of your anniversary.

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  4. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    My smile got much wider when I read today’s Journal of Sacred Work. My husband Frank and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last weekend. Our bond is now stronger, as a result of recognizing this benchmark and knowing that our feelings are as fresh as ever.
    Sometimes it’s the “getting there” that drives you to perservere where you’d otherwise sidestep the challenge.
    Congratulations on your 41st wedding anniversary; may you welcome many more!

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  5. Mareanne Fontenette Avatar
    Mareanne Fontenette

    Anniversaries as you stated, can be happy and sad. I am a natural numbers person, something I was gifted with. Monthly as dates go by I remember the anniversaries of events that have filled my life, making me the person I am today.
    August 14th will be the one year anniversary of the day my grandmother danced her way into heaven. She left behind a long legacy of people whose lives she touched with her loving care. She lived life exactly how she wanted surrounded by her family and friends, the people she loved and valued so much. I still think about her everyday, but am so thankful for the blessings of love, strength, courage, and being true to oneself that she gave me! As I stated above, Anniversaries some can be happy, some can be sad, and some can be both but all are worth remembering!!

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