Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

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Friday Forum – Our Mistakes

August 24, 2007

Each of us makes mistakes. Most are minor. Occasionally, we make a significant error. In nearly forty years as a lawyer, judge and healthcare leader, I have lived in worlds where mistakes can mean loss of freedom, life, health, and death. Most tragically, accidents typically happen in the most innocent and harmless seeming ways. A glance away from the road may lead to a paralyzing accident. A moment’s distraction may lead to a lifetime of misery.
My experience in courtrooms has taught me that litigants rarely emerge satisfied with court verdicts, no matter which side they are on. My experience in hospitals teaches that the best solution to medical mistakes is honesty. My experience with email teaches the importance of being careful before hitting the "Send" button. Still, with all my experience, I continue to err too often and in too many ways….

Ultimately, we must resolve our mistakes in our own hearts. What is
the best way for us to deal with the errors we make – both personally
and with others? Please post your comment, below.

-Erie Chapman

Posted in Meditations

6 responses to “Friday Forum – Our Mistakes”

liz Wessel

August 24, 2007

I value honest communication. Open communication is key in any situation particularly when a misunderstanding occurs. Personally, I don’t hesitate to apologize when someone’s perception of me is that I have harmed, even though it is not my intention to hurt anyone.
E-mail communication can be difficult as it is easy to misunderstand the written word. As a matter of fact, I had just such an experience this week. I attempted to express my thoughts honestly and the person who received the e-mail misinterpreted my message as possibly having a “negative undertone.” I was so dismayed to learn this. Of coarse, face-to-face communication is best, but when that is not possible, picking up the phone is a good alternative.
Small gestures go a long way especially when done in a spirit of Love. I believe the best way to resolve a mistake is to own it, and respond from the heart, trusting the other person will be receptive. Yet, if we do not receive the response we hoped for, at least we have the peace of knowing our actions were motivated by Love and ultimately Love will prevail.

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Karen York

August 24, 2007

Honesty and humility come to mind. It’s easy to defend our actions or to blame someone else than to look deeper to see what we might have done to cause the misunderstanding or a mistake. Sometimes, my mistakes are harmful to others in a deep way. Forgiving ourselves and letting go are the hardest of all. I don’t know that I’m so good at that part.

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Tom Knowles-Bagwell

August 24, 2007

Like you, Erie, as well as Karen and Liz, I think that honesty is the first place to start in dealing with mistakes. Of course, I have to first be honest with myself. That’s often times the highest hurddle. Like Karen suggests, pride gets in the way of my first admitting to myself that I could have made a mistake. My wife tells me that’s a “guy thing.”

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Diana Gallaher

August 24, 2007

At times I have found that the bigger my mistake, the harder to admit. That and difficulty forgiving myself and letting go once the mistake is acknowledged have left some scars. I hope that, as Liz mentioned earlier this week, these scars are a source of compassion. I have found that the best way to resolve mistakes is to be mindful to “rest in love.” If I remember my belovedness, then I remember the belovedness of others. This almost has to be part of the mistake/response/forgiveness process – doesn’t it? “…sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness…”

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Erie Chapman

August 25, 2007

What lovely comments from each of you. Thank you for your gifts of grace. At the end of the week, I reflect on my mistakes and seek foregiveness from the source of life.

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numisirow

January 19, 2012

I’ve always been a loser but I’ve never realized it until a few years ago. Never was good with people, and until very late in life I thought the only way to make friends and please people was to do and be everything they wanted us to. I shaped my personality on that of those I wanted to be friends with. I wasn’t myself. So I was bullied, beaten, mocked, taken advantage of and such.
Then there were the parental units. Work took them away a lot, and the little time we spent together was them saying constantly I behaved like a lunatic and if I didn’t behave properly I was to be commited to an institution. What a great thing to say to a child, right? My whole family, though small, started to see me this way. I was the crazy one, the child that never said anything that made sense, the child who always had to be watched lest he break, stole or severely damaged anything. Well, movin’ on…
Let’s see…School: Check; Parents/Family: Check; Work – Check my other story “damned if you do…”; That leaves married life.
I don’t have to tell you about my love life, use your imagination under these circumstances. I met my future wife and eight years later we got married. Best and fastest day of my entire life. I later found out that my marriage isn’t a partnership, but a domination. She’s the dominating one, I’m the dominated one.
So at this point I really start thinking like that famous Demotivator poster with the picture of a sinking ship that says «It may be that your goal in life is to serve as a warning to others.». I looked around and realized that no one respected me, people saw me as a child of 5 in a 30 year-old body, the lunatic mad prankster who never took anything seriously and never did anything right. I had one last chance to prove myself to the world: to have children of my own, to make others around me see that I too could make something right, something beautiful. Then the Doctor told me I couldn’t have children. I was sterile. No chance in Hell.

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