On Thursday, the Journal essay discussed the way we die. It sounds like a morbid subject, but it doesn’t need to be.
I developed a somewhat precious sense of life when I was diagnosed with a chronic illness at the age of nineteen. I started thinking I wouldn’t make it to age forty. It got me trying all kinds of things I might not have done – particularly in the arts.
Terminal illness focuses our minds on what counts. Otherwise, we run the risk of squandering what time we have.
When and how would you like to die? Post your thoughts by clicking on "Comment" below.
Journal of Sacred Work
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5 responses to “Open Forum – A Precious Sense of Life”
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Let me be the first to say that I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!! With that being said, if I could choose, it would most likely be like this.
I’d like to be really old – I plan to reach at least 100 – and feeling pretty good up until then. Your idea of dying peacefully in sleep sounds pretty nice. Hopefully I’ll have friends and family nearby, and most definitely HOSPICE people. I think that making it to 100 (or even 95) qualifies you for hospice.
With that in mind, it causes me to ponder about what I will do with the 2nd half of my life. Meaningful existence is always the goal and living in the moment is perhaps one of the hardest things to accomplish.
Thank you for this reflective practice today.LikeLike
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If I had a say in the matter I choose a few easy precepts; I would avoid any sudden, painful, traumatic, or violent death. I’d choose to live an active life without any prolonged incapacitating illness. I want a natural death at home surrounded by loving family/friends.
Now the question you pose becomes more fascinating. I think of birth and the way we welcome a little spirit into this world, how a woman prepares for birth, and is coached through a difficult and painful labor that has meaning and purpose. I’d like to prepare my spirit in a joyful way for death as birth into a new realm. There are opportunities to honor this rite of passage with celebration, ritual and to acknowledge the sacred in all. As I begin to think about death in this way, it is not morbid to contemplate.
I’d want a priest to bless me, and my home, and to dispel darkness and fear of the unknown, and invite angels and saints to come. I’d like my home light and airy with the windows open for gentle breezes to blow through it. My home would be clean, uncluttered, and welcoming with a peaceful accepting atmosphere. I’d ask my caregiver to bake cookies to share with guests and help them to feel comfortable. I’d give each visitor a gift of his or her choosing from my belongings. I’d place a lit candle on the mantle to burn continuous, with fresh cut flowers all about, and my favorite music playing softly. I’d want my bed by the window overlooking the garden, where I could see the sky and stars at night. I’d engage in meaningful conversations, share memories, ask for forgiveness and offer it, express gratitude, and say goodbye.
When I think of the active dying phase, I wonder why people tend to linger so long. Is it due to some unfinished business, needing permission to let go, or nature’s way of allowing the soul time needed to make the transition? I’d want this time to be as brief as possible and filled with heart-felt prayers.
Although, I don’t get to choose, this exercise reminds me to live each day as gift and to prepare and create days like this now, why wait?LikeLike
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At the age of 70, I am considering death as the next exciting stage of “life” – how I die is outside of my control. However, given a choice, I would prefer to have time to be with my wife tracy and my children as I go through the final stages rather than have a sudden, albeit painless departure. Having been a volunteer in hospice, I have learned that people tend to die the way they lived. Someone famous once said: Life is a choice, choose well. I hope I am and continue to choose my living well and do the same with my last days/weeks/months.
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I agree with Karen (I don’t want to die), but when I do, I want to be 100, I want a clear mind, I want to be pain-free, of course, and I want my beloved family with me, talking to me one by one and all together. Talking about how great were our lives together.
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If I was asked this question a few months ago, I am sure my answer would have been different. However, after spending considerable time at the bedside of a dear friend in an intensive care unit my perspective has changed. Now, I am not thinking about longevity as much as the quality of my life. Seeing firsthand the impact of modern technological interventions they have much less of an appeal to me and I’d prefer accepting a more a natural course in my eventual death.
Although the scene I depicted of my imagined death was fanciful I enjoyed visualizing the possibility of a death I could perhaps welcome rather than fear.
I have come to realize how difficult it is for family members to make these choices, and once technologies interventions are initiated how increasingly difficult it becomes to decide how much or when to stop life supporting mechanisms. I am so grateful to have the honor to walk alongside and bear witness to the courageous determination of a family who keep an ever-present vigil surrounding such a dear one with their protective light and Love.LikeLike
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