
"I’ve just snapped. I can’t take this meaningless existence anymore. I’ve been a constant disappointment." – Suicide note of Robert Hawkins, left (the Omaha Mall Killer.)
Because 19 year-old Robert Hawkins couldn’t find a loving purpose in his life, he ended his life, and the lives of eight other innocent people in a murderous rampage through an Omaha mall. "Just think, I’m gonna be famous," he said in his suicide note.
The criticality of the seed of purpose comes in poisonous examples as well as through the lives of the angels among us. What some refer to as "senseless acts of violence" are often explosions born from the agonizing vacuum created when people can’t find a purposeful way to express their potential.
Likewise, caregivers who feel their potential is being underused may experience burn out. Without nourishment, the seed of their potential begins to die or, worse, it may turn toxic, poisoning the life of the caregiver and those around her….
All truly great leaders have found a way to nurture the seed of their potential so that it has grown into a great flower spreading beauty through the world. Moses, Jesus, Mohamed, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, each of them found expression for the seed of their potential. Similarly, the unrecognized angel down the hallway who is devoting her life to loving care is expressing her Love-given gifts in important ways.
Each of us needs to look within to find the gifts Love has granted us in this life. Most of us are blessed with many gifts. It requires great energy to choose which seeds of our potential need nurturing and which to ignore.
The Omaha Mall killer is wrong about being famous. Briefly, he is infamous. But we will forget his name as his act fades back on the growing list of meaningless crimes like Charles Roberts, the so-called Amish murderer who killed innocent people. Roberts left a suicide note (left) similar to Hawkins in which he describes "unimaginable emptiness." It doesn’t take any skill or talent to walk into a crowd, lift a gun, and shoot people. But it takes God’s Love to do, as the Amish did, and forgive Roberts.
Perhaps the most powerful lesson his actions teach us is a powerful reminder of what may happen when we become so desperate for recognition that we chose a dark path. For Hawkins, the darkest path he could imagine looked brighter than continuing a life in which he saw no meaning.
Love is the organizing principle that helps us decide which of our gifts we will unwrap, and which we will attend to so that they will true blossom in the Garden of Love. And the gifts necessary are not simply ones connected to skillful performance. For example, each of has the gift of listening, vital to the work of caregiving. And each of us has the potential to find the grace we need to deliver compassion to those in need.
How do you nurture your potential so that you may give Loving Care?
-Erie Chapman
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