Journal of Sacred Work

[The following meditation was written by Cathy Self, Sr. V.P. of the Baptist Healing Trust, Nashville]

   This is a season in which many
envision the picture of the lion and the lamb resting side-by-side. Yet I am
mindful that even in this season of peace there is conflict within and among us
all.
   I’ve been reading recently,
again, from a book published by the Arbinger Institute titled The Anatomy of Peace. I’m learning that,
typically, we assume that people who are in conflict want solutions. However,
it often seems the preferred solution is that others change. We spend most of
our time and effort with others dealing with things that are going wrong. We
try to fix our children, change our spouse, correct our employees, and
discipline those who aren’t acting as we’d like.

   And when we’re not actually doing these things, we’re thinking about doing them or worrying about doing them. According to
the authors of this book, I become an agent of change only to the degree that I
begin to live to help things go right rather than simply correct things that
are going wrong. Rather than simply correcting, for example, I need to
re-energize my teaching, my helping, my listening, and especially my learning. I
need to put time and effort into building relationships.
   This kind of relationship
building, however, requires a giving from the heart. According to Marshall
Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent
Communication when we give from the heart, we do so out of a joy that emerges
whenever we willingly enrich another person’s life. This kind of giving
benefits both the giver and the receiver. When we stay engaged with another
motivated solely to give and receive
compassionately (and not to change the other), and we do everything we can to
let others know this is our only
motive, we may find ourselves surprised that they choose to join us in the
process; eventually we will be able to respond compassionately to one another.
   Yes, this is a season that is
filled with great visions of peace. Henry Nouwen once asked whether the great
visions of an ultimate peace among all people, and the ultimate harmony of all
creation, just utopian fairy tales? His emphatic reply – No, they are not! These
visions correspond to the deepest longings of the human heart and point us to
the truth waiting to be revealed. These are the visions which nurture our souls
and strengthen our hearts. They offer us hope when we are close to despair,
courage when we are tempted to give up on life, and trust when suspicion seems
the more logical attitude. Without these visions, writes Nouwen, our deepest
aspirations, which give us the energy to overcome great obstacles and painful
setbacks, will be dulled and our lives will become flat, boring, and finally
destructive. Our visions enable us to live the full life.
   It is not visions of sugarplums
dancing in your heads I wish for today. I invite you to join me in the bringing
to bear the vision of peace of Love in every encounter. This calls us to “live
to help things go right”, “to engage solely to give and receive
compassionately”, and to believe these visions can come true.