Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

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Day 30 – Changing Energy & A Gift From Whyte

January 30, 2008

"I am how I feel ." -Katrina in Who Loves Judas, by Dane Dakota

In so many ways, we are how we feel at this moment. Our history is stored within us in every cell of our body. Our body may well remember what our mind does not and vice versa. But, our persona is shaped by the mood of the moment. We can see this idea reflected in the powerful film, Persona, directed by film legend Ingmar Bergman and staring Liv Ullman (at left in photo from film)
Sure, we can put on masks and pretend we’re feeling fine when we may feel exhausted. Yet, the truth will emerge. The caregiver may adopt the costume of a caring heart when, in truth, she may be carrying within her, years of anger and bitterness…

In the powerful film, There Will Be Blood, based on the novel by Upton Sinclair, the lead character (played by the great Daniel Day-Lewis) speaks of the demon that drives him: "I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed." He also speaks of his hatred towards most of his fellow humans.
Why is he so angry? Why does he see everyone and everything else as a competitor that must be conquered? He seems an exaggeration of the darkest aggression of the male ego.
And yet, at brief moments of vulnerability, we see a tender side to this angry man. Is he who he feels? And who are we?
So much of the work of loving care has to do with our efforts to align ourselves with Love’s energy. Yet, sometimes, in the midst of occasional fatigue, I find great comfort in gifts from artists. One such gift comes to us from the heart of British poet David Whyte:

Under the Locust Trees

Under the locust trees
the body is tired
and the arms
are streaked with shadows
and the mind begins to arrange
and place the light
and catalogue the smells
and rolling slightly on the undulations of the lawn
feel the hand
and the soft
and recognize the smell
penetrating the skin
of sun-warmed bark.

A bird calls
and the sound
falls into the clearing
like a single drop
pushing everything to the brim
and spills over
flowing
through the thick currents of air
above the grass

If we are who we feel, then I feel better after reading this gift from David Whyte.

-Erie Chapman

Posted in Meditations

5 responses to “Day 30 – Changing Energy & A Gift From Whyte”

Tom Knowles-Bagwell

January 30, 2008

I wonder if the fact that I can change how I feel suggests that I am more than how I feel. Certainly, how I feel at any given moment contributes to and shapes my “being” significantly at that moment, but it doesn’t define my “being.” I think this is why we seek to align ourselves with Love’s energy as our goal rather than “the pursuit of happiness.” Happiness is a fleeting feeling. Loving is more than a feeling.

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Erie Chapman

January 30, 2008

To Dr. Knowles-Bagwell
You raise a terrific point, Tom. It makes sense that if we can change how we feel than we must be something more than that. Thanks also for affirming that Love is more than a feeling and for your regular insightful comments!

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Catherine Self

January 30, 2008

Nouwen suggests, strange as it may sound, we can choose joy. Two people can be part of the same event, but one may choose to live it quite differently than the other. One may choose to trust that what happened, painful as it may be, holds a promise. The other may choose despair and be destroyed by it.
Tom, I agree Love is more than a feeling. It is a choice we make with each and every encounter. It is the ultimate and Divine choice made on our behalf, and it is what makes us uniquely human. The desire to live Love is the decision to choose Love, even when other ‘forces’ would pull us toward a different response.

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Karen York

January 30, 2008

Your first few lines give me pause for reflection. As an Idealist, I am on a continual quest to discover who I am. Sometimes I’m an adventurer, sometimes an artist; sometimes a courageous leader, sometimes a coward huddled in the corner. At the core of all these pieces of me is the 6 year old Karen who plays hop scotch and jacks. At the core is also the 85 year old Karen who is all that I will become. At this moment I am feeling hopeful and graceful and loving. Maybe I am who I feel, and I feel because I am.

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liz Wessel

January 30, 2008

I have not seen the movie Persona but I would like to sometime. This meditation brings me full circle, as to why self-compassion and self-care are necessary for balance, so that we don’t become angry and bitter caregivers. I appreciate your willingness to look honestly at feelings and ask difficult questions. Resistance to life can create painful and unwanted emotions that may spew out in uncontrolled anger. If we can face our fear of ‘who we are’ in vulnerability and acceptance- that is self-compassion. In doing so, negative energy loses it’s power. Let us go beneath fatigue, the mask, any feeling, into a deeper knowing. The knowing that we are Loved, completely, as we are now. Perhaps, the gift of a beautiful poem is a way to return, through our body, into our heart center, one breath with mindfulness; here we will find rest.

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