I want to be the architect of my own embarrassment. – comedian Mike Myers (left)
When I was in college I read a book by Allan Watts called The Wisdom of Insecurity. What I remember most about the book is its title.
The idea that we, as caregivers and leaders, could actually be comfortable with our own insecurity is a strange one. Yet, consider the dynamic most of us experience. I don’t know about you, but as a young CEO, I sometimes felt like a fake. As head of a hospital at age thirty-three, I tried to put on my best leadership mask. But the truth was, I frequently wasn’t sure what to do next…
As a brand new attorney in the late ’60s, I felt the same way with my new clients. They looked at me searching for the reassurance that I knew what I was doing and I tried to offer that, whether I felt it or not. This is often what professionals feel called to do.
Perhaps you felt that way as a new doctor or nurse or therapist or social worker or leader. Perhaps you still feel that way on occasion. What’s not good is the double-bind – the second layer of anxiety that sounds like this: "I feel so insecure about being insecure."
The wisdom of accepting our insecurity is that we eliminate the second layer in the syndrome and thus cut the toxicity of the insecurity circle. To recognize that we don’t know all the answers and do not have to always know is the beginning of humility.
I have often been surprised at people’s reaction, either as a lawyer or as a leader, when I tell them I really don’t know the answer to their question and I’ll have to think about it. Most of the time, people are quite understanding and appreciative of this honesty.
I understand that we often do not have that luxury. In the middle of surgery, the surgeon or nurse don’t have the luxury to throwing down instruments with the shout: "I don’t know what to do!" Instead, a breath, a moment’s reflection, a request for help, or simply a courageous march ahead may be the best decisions.
Best of all, in my experience, is to find a way to laugh. Humor in the middle of a tense or humiliating moment, whether it comes from a President, a surgeon, or a first line caregiver, is a powerful tonic. When comedian Myers did a seminar with Dr. Deepak Chopra recently he explained why he uses humor to deliver messages and to teach spiritual truths. "Hopefully," Myers says, "it’s like Flinstone vitamins: You don’t have to know it’s Barney or Wilma to have it be good for you."
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
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