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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Recent Posts

About

Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Day 107 – How to Stop Complaining

[The following meditation was written by Dr. Jerald Smith, Chaplain at Parrish Medical Center in Titusville Florida.]
“Through some moment of beauty or pain, some sudden turning of our lives, we catch glimmers of at least what the saints are blinded by…” (Frederick Buechner, Listening To Your Life)   

Stop_complaining
   One week into the challenge to go 21 days without complaining and my best so far is one whole day. When I began this effort, I didn’t think it would be that difficult. I am not much of a complainer, or at least I didn’t think so. But I am one of those persons who process a lot of things internally. I think others who more readily verbalize their thoughts might have more difficulty, but that is just speculation on my part. In any case, only spoken complaints count. Unspoken complaints don’t count. But I have noticed that I am more aware of my complaining thoughts too, which helps me to avoid saying them.

   Here at Parrish Medical Center, I have received requests for 43 of the
reminder bracelets so far. The bracelets will arrive in about a month. But you
don’t have to wait to get started. You can begin by using a rubber band
and replace it with a bracelet later when it arrives. 
Knowing what to expect may help, so I offer the following insights from
Will Bowen, author of the book A Complaint Free World. He says there
are four stages to competency in any new skill. They are:

  1. Unconscious
    Incompetence,
  2. Conscious Incompetence,
  3. Conscious Competence and
  4. Unconscious Competence.

   We all start not knowing how much we
don’t know. Stage two is where most people fail. Finding out how hard
it is to learn the new skill, in this case discovering just how much
you complain and trying to avoid complaining, can be discouraging.
Don’t quit! If you persevere, you’ll eventually graduate to the next
stage, and if you keep at it long enough, (remember, it could take up
to six weeks) not complaining will become your new normal. You won’t
have to work at it. You will become a non-complaining person. So grab a
rubber band and get started!

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7 responses to “Day 107 – How to Stop Complaining”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Dr. Smith
    I appreciate your challenge; a seemingly simple way to increase our awareness of negative thought patterns in order to change our behavior. I suppose a person could apply this concept to any number of habits in need of change. My co-worker Vickee, has expressed an interest of introducing this practice at our ministry as her Mission and Mentoring project. She believes this might be one small but effective way to transform our culture. I think it is exciting that you are spreading this practice at Parrish Medical Center and I cannot wait to share your meditation with Vickee as I think it will encourage her to move forward with her project.

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  2. Lorilee Amlie Avatar
    Lorilee Amlie

    I have actually heard of this challenge before and think it would be a great personal accomplishment for myself. I have put a rubber band on my arm as I write.If I could get to the point of not complaining it would be great! I will replace each negative thought with a positive one. Thank you for reminding me of the work ahead.

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  3. Kelly Roberts Avatar
    Kelly Roberts

    I am encouraged by Dr. Smith’s challenge. I’m motivated to try to go an entire day without complaining, with the goal of reaching 21 days. I wonder if my co-workers, my boss, my spouse, and children would notice.It’s my hope that they would realize that something was different about me (that I seem more positive) and ask me about it, then I could dialog with them and encourage them to try and go a whole day without complaining with the goal of 21 days and longer.

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  4. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    I’m rubber band ready; this is a challenge I could really benefit from. Thanks so much for the inspiration.

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  5. Tom Knowles-Bagwell Avatar
    Tom Knowles-Bagwell

    This is a great challenge. I’m signing on, too. It would be amazing to achieve the goal.

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  6. liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network Avatar
    liz Wessel RN, MS SJHS Home Health Network

    Vickee provided me with a purple bracelett this morning so I guess I am in on trying this. 😉
    ~liz

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  7. Vickee Stoner Avatar
    Vickee Stoner

    I think I’ve received the affirmation I needed to pursue this as my Mission and Mentoring project. Thank you.
    On a humerous note, I think I’ve figured out one reason for making the braclets “purple” or “wine” colored, as my complaints often take the form of “whining”. At least, that’s an insight I’ve gained, as I’ve moved my braclet from one wrist to the other…

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