During these days, please offer whatever comments you would like on caregiver relationships for the benefit of your fellow caregivers. Click on Comments, below, to offer your thoughts.
Journal of Sacred Work
Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.
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6 responses to “Days 193-195 – Open Forum”
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In continuing the thread of Catherine’s exceptional meditation yesterday I would like to share the following with you.
Recently, I read a narrative written by a nurse who attended our palliative care orientation and her story struck a chord in me and caused me to ponder. The nurse recounted a story of a patient who was a chronic complainer. Whatever anyone did to try to assist her it was never right, nor was she ever satisfied. She required a lot of care as she had leg wounds and diabetes and as her condition declined she needed more and more help. Her nurse offered her only patience and quiet Loving understanding throughout the most difficult times. Interestingly, the last few days of her life, this woman told this nurse how much she appreciated her and was grateful for all she had done. One by one, she called each of her family members to her bedside to express her Love, to ask forgiveness, and to say goodbye. Then she died with a radiant glow of peace on her face. This nurse was the patient’s daughter-in-law.
Recently, I have reflected upon a question,can one touch inner joy amidst great sorrow? This story caused my to wonder why we are so stingy with Loving-kindness towards the people we Love most. Especially, when in the end we come to realize that Love is all there is, all that really matters.
I feel my own perceptions shifting with the understanding that when I am upset, angry, or unforgiving with another person that is how I am treating myself as I project my unwanted feeling onto others. Why would I want to hurt myself, or someone I Love? My fear-based ego thinking believes in scarcity. Yet, if I choose to accept atonement (the unraveling of fear) I experience the grace of Love. When I recognize that I am not separate from you, I discover Love in relationship with you. I find God in you, as in me, as in all things. I let go of sadness and touch great joy, remembering who I am in relationship with you.
Life is too short for anything less than Love.LikeLike
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Liz, I believe you and I were on the same wave lengths today as we were thinking about similiar feelings of what would matter to post today. While you state “Life is too short for anything less than Love.”, I came across a very meaningful poem the other day that is simply titled, “Don’t Miss the Chance”. A poem about the challenge of dealing with aging parents who become more and more needy and about the conflicts one is bound to feel. Caregiving is a relationship that brings with it not only the responsibilities but the gifts of love and comfort if we are able to appreciate and respect the moments we do have with a loved one. Like Liz noted, love is sometimes all that matters.
They said I was lucky my mom lived near,
But she was pretty old and it wasn’t so clear.
Sure, I was grateful for all she did for me,
But I was so very busy. I had no time free.
I had my job, my kids, my own life to live.
There really was nothing left for me to give.
I couldn’t visit often, but I did help out.
I gave money, did chores, and ran her about.
But truth be told, I didn’t like it that much.
The conversation was dull, and she was frail to touch.
She complained a lot and I just felt worse.
I didn’t have time to be handyman or nurse.
I could have done more – of course I could –
But she loved me and she understood.
I know she did because she told me so.
She wanted me to be happy – and I pretended not to know
That she was lonely, uncomfortable, and scared of dying.
I closed my eyes to how hard she was trying
To be brave, independent, and not needy at all.
She assured me she’d be fine even after her fall.
But now she’s gone and I miss her so,
And I’m so sorry I pretended not to know
How much a call, a card, or a hug brightened her day
Or how easy it was to chase her blues away.
I’m ashamed I felt burdened, pressured, and put out.
She deserved more than I gave her, without a doubt.
So if your mom or dad is still with you,
Don’t lose the chance – do all you can do.
Make time, not excuses. Go the extra mile.
Because your chance to do so lasts only a while.
~ Michael JosephsonLikeLike
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Thank you Yvonne for sharing such a beautiful poem. It truly touch my heart. Love is so wonderful and yet so scary to give away unconditionally.
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It takes deep love, patience and a strong will to overcome a difficult person you want to help. I admire Liz and Yvonne for their vision and willpower in seeing the good in doing these things. Although we may care for someone and want to be there for them, it’s challenging with the person pushes you away.
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Day 194
Today, I continue to reflect on the many times we withhold sharing our Love. I wonder what we are trying to protect? Perhaps, it is because we live in a world that perceives Love as weakness and hate as strength. Is our burning Love of God so intense that we fear we could not control our joyous response to Love’s call if we heard it? Are we afraid we might lose ourselves completely?LikeLike
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Funny, that I should stumble upon and begin reading Kahlil Gibran’s book, “Tears and Laughter” this week, as it was my dear friend Shirley’s gift to me when my dad died in December of 1995. Today, Shirley’s beloved father has died and his spirit soars free.
I dedicate this poem to Shirley.
Pain
And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of pain. And he said;
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may
stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder of the daily miracle of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you
have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals
your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence
and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender
hand of the Unseen.
And the cups he brings, though it burns your lips, has been
fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with
His own sacred tears.
~Kahlil Gibran from The ProfitLikeLike
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