Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Today’s meditation was written by Cathy Self, Senior Vice-President for the Baptist Healing Trust.

     The wealth and values that have been spoken in this week’s journal cannot be bought, and prove again that Love is priceless. To gaze upon the deep colors of a cloud painted sunset or the fragile and intricate veins of a deeply hued flower are indeed windows through which we may glimpse the sacred texture of the Solitude soul. And, as Erie Chapman has so eloquently framed Love’s impact, as our lives are broadened and deepened, our souls are enriched. To stop and look and really see, to listen and truly hear, to walk alongside and feel the breath and gentle touch of the one nearby are gifts that cannot be purchased and fall into the place of the extra-ordinary. Beyond being with each other, the soul also longs to be with itself in solitude, silence, quiet, and hiddenness which serve to broaden and deepen life when we are willing to rest there. When I speak of hiddenness, I am not speaking of hiding from but as an intimate means to being with.

     For example, I’ve been paying attention to recently to being with as I take in nourishment. Some traditions consider the vibratory nature of foods for determining what is benefitial, calming, stimulating, or hamful when taken in. Other traditions believe what we eat gives rise to actions and thoughts in very tangible ways. The idea of being with in what some regard as the ordinariness of eating instead taps into deep hospitality in the Hindu and Indian traditions. Awareness and welcome of those who are sharing the meal, expressions of gratitude, and mindful attention to the texture, temperature, color, and myriad tastes that are embedded in each bite all help create a profound connection between our physical world and the world of our souls – a place of sacredness and Love.

     Hiddenness may express itself in being with one’s physical self, simply paying attention to what is. To sit quietly with focus on the breath, to notice where tension is being held, to rest completely into the support of a chair or bed or a grassy knoll offers another thread in the sacred texture of the soul. It is a thread that many have woven into their lives through discipline and practice, but for others remains an elusive or fleeting experience. At the end of every out breath there is a moment of complete rest, of non action, and it lasts but for a nanosecond. The vast majority of those precious pauses are lost to our consciousness. Yet the pause is there, silent and still – a place of sacredness and Love.

     Being with the heart and mind is at the core of the purpose of these pages. Compassionate care, presence, and healing all emerge from our willingness to be with our own heart and mind. We cannot give what we do not have. Being with others in ways that meet need with Love demands we first know the hiddenness of being with ourseslves. Henri Nouwen speaks of the discipline of the heart as the one discipline we give up most easily, encouraging us instead to enter solitude and stand in the presence of Love. This discipline requires an intense commitment and belief in its inherent and ultimate value. Being with is a place of sacredness and Love.

     May today surprise you with moments of hiddenness, and may your soul rest in those places of sacredness and Love!

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9 responses to “Day 227 – Being With”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Cathy, I appreciate how the current week’s meditations become a springboard for your writings and the insights offered. You weave a lovely thread. Sometimes my heart and mind do not seem in harmony and your reflection is a helpful reminder to me to return to being with the movement and stillness of my breath. To be receptive to my Spirits gentle guidance and forgiving of my errors of perception. Being with the deep hospitality of your nourishing words, I feel a swell of gratefulness. Today I listen and I will be attentive to what the Spirit has to say. I return to you, Cathy, and dear readers, blessings of peace.

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  2. Edwin Loftin Avatar
    Edwin Loftin

    I wish to use a quote that I reflect on regularly and has been stated many times here: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our Freedom.”-Victor Frankl.
    I beg that as Cathy reflected in the description of hiddenness, the moment before breath, the space before response is our opportunity to be present in love. Here we as loving care providers and souls in search can find the point of communion with ourselves, our families, our loved ones and our community.
    Hiddenness, yes, here we find the energy for continual and growing loving care.

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  3. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    This is a very meaningful meditation Cathy. I especially like your emphasis on being with ourselves. It is in being with my own belovedness that I am able to give love to others. I think I am the model for Henri Nouwen’s statement about the lack of discipline with solitude and resting in Love.
    This has been a hard week for me in terms of just feeling low energy. This makes your meditation and the comments of Liz and Edwin especially timely for me. Thank you.

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  4. Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales Avatar
    Yvonne Ginez-Gonzales

    Many years ago I had the lovely opportunity of caring for patient for about 4 months who was dying from cancer but completely alert and oriented. She often shared with me in detail her days of traveling on her good days. She was such a great story teller that I would lose track of time. I felt that I was getting so much more out of my visits with her then I was giving. However, there were bad days too where during my visit our conversations became silent. I would simply do my assessments and she would apologize for not being a “lady” and having conversation. I would let her know that I appreciated my visits with her and address how tired she looked that day. In addition, I would ask permission if it was ok that I could just sit with her during my visit while she closed her eyes and rested. She would always respond, “I would love that, and you are so kind.” Then one day I went to visit her and her daughter answered the door with tears in her eyes. She explained that her mother had just died. I of course took care of all that needed to be done with the death, but it was when I was leaving that her daughter presented me with the following poem on a pretty pink paper. Her mother had told her then night before that she wanted to give this to me for caring for her. My heart was touched that day and I will never forget her. I am glad to have been able to share in her spirit for life and conversation and being with her for those precious moments..
    In Being With You
    There’s something I find,
    in being with you,
    that is lost to me elsewhere.
    The surety of your step,
    beside mine.
    The certainty in your voice,
    when you speak to me.
    The passion behind your eyes,
    that touches my soul.
    All these that take our friendship
    steps beyond
    our dreams,
    past surety
    and certainty
    both,
    to a realm of faith.
    All these things,
    and more,
    I find
    in being with you.
    ~ Lauriel Mariondatter

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  5. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    The poem and the story that accompanies it is truly beautiful, Yvonne. Thank you for sharing it with us. It shows you can have solitude in the presence of another.

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  6. MFM Avatar
    MFM

    Yvonne your story and poem brought tears to my eyes. Today has been an especially challenging day for me as today is the anniversary of my favorite old ladys passing. (my nick name for my grandmother) The poem made my heart smile as I remembered how It felt to be in my grandmothers presence. Thank you for sharing~

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  7. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Thinking of you Mareanne and sending my Love.

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  8. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    This past week I attended a Celebration of Life for an extraordinary woman Helen who lived a full life of 97 years. She was so beloved and cherished by all her family and friends. Her daughter Corrine read this poem at the service that is a true reflection of Helen’s beautiful, light filled spirit. I thought you might appreciate this. And now I dedicate this to your grandmother, Mareanne, and to Ross Alderman, with Love.
    Anon
    When I die if you need to weep,
    cry for your brother or sister walking the street beside you.
    And when you need me, put your arms around someone
    and give them what you need to give me.
    I want to tell you something…
    when you are missing me,
    look for me in the people I’ve loved,
    look for me when you see the full moon,
    when you listen to music,
    and when you hear the laughter of children.
    And if you want to honor me,
    do so by taking something of my life that you admired, and bring it into yours.
    Let me continue to live in your heart, your eyes, and your spirit.
    Love dosen’t die, people do
    So when all that is left of me is love,
    give me away.
    ~Anonymous

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  9. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Yvonne I reread your lovely story this morning and what strikes me is that sometimes we communicate with people on a deeper soul level and how those people continue to live in our hearts. I recall caring for a dear woman for several months when I was pregnant with my first son. She tried to give me money to buy the baby a gift because she was too ill to go shopping. I thanked her for the thoughtful gesture and explained I could not take any money. She had end stage COPD and died not long after. Not long after that, I had my baby. One day I received a beautiful letter accompanied by a package. The letter was from Mrs. H’s granddaughter who thanked me and told me Mrs. H had asked her to buy the baby a gift. To receive this gift after her death, and after the birth of my son, felt as though she had communicated with me beyond space and time; beyond death. It was very special.

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