A friend of mine who works behind the scenes in the movie world told me recently about an experience he had as a crew member for a recent film starring Sally Field. "How was she to work with?" I asked him. "She was great," my friend said, "but the director was a nightmare."
He went on to describe how this individual, directing his very first film, decided that a key part of his job was to tell the Academy Award winning Ms. Field how to act. "You’d think he was the veteran instead of her. He constantly interrupted her with correction after correction and instruction after silly instruction."
Fortunately, Ms. Field was enough of a professional that she was able to deliver a competent performance in spite of the directors obsessive knit-picking. "She would have done so much better if this idiot director had gotten out of her way, " my friend said.
Yesterday, I wrote of how stress arises primarily from our efforts to control the behavior of others. There is so much difference between leading people through partnership and love versus through intimidation and distrust. The director in the above story had so little trust in himself and others that he tried to correct this through obsessive control. Great directors (and leaders) on the other hand, set guidelines rather than rules and lead from principles rather than by trying to enforce laws.
Great leaders nurture. Poor leaders intimidate. All of these same things are as true for parenting as they are for leadership.
How do you experience this truth in your caregiving work?
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
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