Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Schopenhauer
Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed. In the second, it is opposed. In the third, it is regarded as self-evident
. – Arthur Schopenhauer (above)

   If there was ever a self-evident truth, it is that Love is the most important energy in caregiving. Therefore, it is surprising to see how much ridicule is heaped on this word in the healthcare community. Recently, I engaged the leadership of one of the most important health care organizations in the world in a discussion of Love. The group included top physician leaders. "We can't use the word 'love' in our organization." one physician said, "The other doctors would make fun of it." The others in the group immediately agreed.
   "What word would work?" I asked.
   "How about 'compassion," one offered.
   Compassion is, of course, a terrific word. It is often confused with pity. As one little saying goes, "Pity stops and stares. Compassion stoops and cares."
   The only problem with the word 'compassion' is that it is limiting. Compassion calls us to kindness and empathy. Love goes beyond compassion to include skill, discipline and integrity. We want compassion for our mothers and other loved ones. But we also want them to be treated with skill and the highest competence.
   If we are successful at introducing the word Love into the dialogue at this major health care center, we are sure to encounter, just as Schopenhauer predicted, a great deal of ridicule. If "Love" gains some traction, then we will encounter opposition. After all, people, especially professionals, are suspicious of anyone seeking to introduce Love into work settings.

   There are several reasons including, 1) Love threatens the 'control' some professionals covet. Love sees equality. Fear thrives on hierarchy. 2) Many have been fooled by false prophets of Love. When they hear the word introduced, they imagine that it must be a trick, 3) Love is misunderstood as "non-substantive" and "not consistent with evidence-based medicine." 4) There is a concern that Love will compromise professional distance.
   So long as genuine Love is present, none of the concerns about her appearance are valid. Meanwhile, the forces of fear, control, and narrow thinking will continue to block Love's light from shining into most of  Americas hospitals and charities.
   How can we change our environments so that loving care becomes not only self-evident but common culture? With the doctors from the major center, I found myself compromising around the use of the word compassion. Later, I regretted my retreat and intend to reassert engaging Love.
   What do you think? What is the best way to introduce and advance the concept of Radical Loving Care into settings where technology and money reign as twin kings?

-Erie Chapman

"Whatever the question, Love is the answer."

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7 responses to “Day 363/4 – The Stages of Our Truth”

  1. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    I’m guessing that the reason you compromised with the word compassion versus love is that the meanings are so similar to you. Living love, living compassion – it is hard for me to discern a difference. Maybe you are saying that love is compassion coupled with wisdom. Maybe the doctors you were speaking with were equating love with “fuzzy, warm feelings”, “gooby” sentimental words and thoughts, not realizing that “love is action” as Victor Hugo penned so well. And as you and other caregivers live so well.

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  2. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    It occurs to me too that the word love has a component of vulnerability to it that the word compassion perhaps does not.

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  3. Erie Chapman Avatar
    Erie Chapman

    Thank you, Diana. Compassion is certainly more complex than anything I have had to say about it. Love must live as “action.” Otherwise, it is still born.

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  4. Woody Wessel Avatar
    Woody Wessel

    It is funny but at our ministry, the word “sacred” caused a similar reaction. Initially, there was a lot of heated conversation among leaders. I think this was helpful because people began to engage on a personal level and think about what does this mean to me? As leaders reflected on this question and then spoke to the management team, they added to the shared meaning of the group. Their insights and the stories they told were very moving. As a leader champions Radical Loving Care, it sends the team a powerful message that this is important. It seems to me that a first step is to begin the dialogue and expect this reaction, knowing it is only the beginning of something very good.

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  5. Erie Chapman Avatar
    Erie Chapman

    Great comment, Liz. You are right that dialogue is key in developing cultures of loving care. The important thing is for loving leaders to persist.

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  6. Edwin Loftin Avatar
    Edwin Loftin

    For Love to infiltrate and overcome the “ridicule and opposition” the dialogue is extremely important, however as leaders we must make sure that the guardrails of the conversation are coached and influenced. We must be active participants of the conversation as this is not a time to sit by the side and watch. Active, no, interactive leadership in the Loving dialogue promotes personalization and story building. When those that ridicule and oppose see and here the real village stories they have the opportunity to accept and embrace.
    By active creation of opportunities for loving stories we can assure that loving care is occuring one interaction at a time.

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  7. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    After returning to work this week, I really appreciate reading today’s message. I wish the word Love would/could be used more in the workplace, but I do understand why in the corporate setting, caution is used.
    However, it’s so sad to see those who fear the word/terminology something that leaves them vunerable. I do believe that compassion has a sense of nobility and those who truly act on it do so, on behalf of Love and often appears as non-threatening.
    Perhaps we need to recognize this comprimise that allows the caregiving to happen, Love would still be there…

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