
Every truth passes through three stages before it is recognized. In the first, it is ridiculed. In the second, it is opposed. In the third, it is regarded as self-evident. – Arthur Schopenhauer (above)
If there was ever a self-evident truth, it is that Love is the most important energy in caregiving. Therefore, it is surprising to see how much ridicule is heaped on this word in the healthcare community. Recently, I engaged the leadership of one of the most important health care organizations in the world in a discussion of Love. The group included top physician leaders. "We can't use the word 'love' in our organization." one physician said, "The other doctors would make fun of it." The others in the group immediately agreed.
"What word would work?" I asked.
"How about 'compassion," one offered.
Compassion is, of course, a terrific word. It is often confused with pity. As one little saying goes, "Pity stops and stares. Compassion stoops and cares."
The only problem with the word 'compassion' is that it is limiting. Compassion calls us to kindness and empathy. Love goes beyond compassion to include skill, discipline and integrity. We want compassion for our mothers and other loved ones. But we also want them to be treated with skill and the highest competence.
If we are successful at introducing the word Love into the dialogue at this major health care center, we are sure to encounter, just as Schopenhauer predicted, a great deal of ridicule. If "Love" gains some traction, then we will encounter opposition. After all, people, especially professionals, are suspicious of anyone seeking to introduce Love into work settings.
There are several reasons including, 1) Love threatens the 'control' some professionals covet. Love sees equality. Fear thrives on hierarchy. 2) Many have been fooled by false prophets of Love. When they hear the word introduced, they imagine that it must be a trick, 3) Love is misunderstood as "non-substantive" and "not consistent with evidence-based medicine." 4) There is a concern that Love will compromise professional distance.
So long as genuine Love is present, none of the concerns about her appearance are valid. Meanwhile, the forces of fear, control, and narrow thinking will continue to block Love's light from shining into most of Americas hospitals and charities.
How can we change our environments so that loving care becomes not only self-evident but common culture? With the doctors from the major center, I found myself compromising around the use of the word compassion. Later, I regretted my retreat and intend to reassert engaging Love.
What do you think? What is the best way to introduce and advance the concept of Radical Loving Care into settings where technology and money reign as twin kings?
-Erie Chapman
"Whatever the question, Love is the answer."
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