Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Children
 Children need models more than they need critics
. – Joseph Joubert, 
Pensées 

   Our instinct to try and correct the behavior of others through criticism begins at an early age. We hear it from our parents, then nursery school teachers, and so on until we become critics ourselves, sometimes seeking to control the behavior of others through detailed instructions.

   Criticism is a way of asserting power over others. We reason that our small children need to learn not to touch hot things and to learn good manners. The challenge is to teach them this information and behavior style without belittling others when they err.

   Interestingly, it is self esteem that children need most. The same is true with adults. We need affirmation and sincere encouragement in order to develop the confidence to make wise decisions on our own.

   Positive example is the guideline that is most important in loving leadership. When fellow staff see us both acting out of love and then trusting others to do the same, there is the best chance of creating an environment where excellence and Love will thrive. 

   The goal of loving leadership is to create an environment where both tradition and change can flourish simultaneously. As President-elect Obama said in a speech in February of 2008, "Change will not come if we wait for some
other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting
for. We are the change that we seek."

   In this fresh new year, we can be the change we seek. In so doing, we can set a model of Love for others. As Joubert, quoted above, also wrote, "to teach is to learn twice." May this be a guide to helping others teach us, thus allowing them to "learn twice."

   What do you think? How do you serve as a model and how to others model Love for you?

-Erie Chapman


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9 responses to “Days 2-4 – Models of Love – Open Forum”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    I wish to share this little story from my work experience, one that unfolded without the awareness or notice of others. Yet, I think it illustrates how others serve in a most quiet and unassuming way as models of Love. Several of my fellow caregivers have come to know a married couple who clean the offices at home health. Karin Reiss is a bi-lingual nurse educator who has befriended this couple, and she has come to know their story, their aspirations and their hardships in life. Dhorie Sim Pharmacy Purchaser and Victoria Facey Admin Asst. each on their own initiative (without the other’s awareness) took up a collection to make holiday baskets for them, as well as for other workers who clean here.
    Last week Dina Montalvo Medical Records Manager noticed that Mr. “R” did not look well. She went to Vickee Stoner RN UR manager and asked if she could check on him. Vickee did an assessment and discovered Mr. R’s vital signs were very abnormal. Our friend was instructed to go to the hospital promptly. He was hospitalized at St. Joseph Hospital and diagnosed with a life threatening illness that required emergent surgery. Karin followed up by phone with the family every step of the way. Mrs. R seemed unclear about her husband’s medical condition so Karin visited with them at the hospital and helped them to better understand the situation. Mr. R survived surgery and is going home on medications to support his recovery. The injectable medication cost $1200.00, and the family is without insurance or means to pay so the hospital provided it for them. This man and his wife are extremely grateful to the great team of doctors, nurses and other medical professionals that saved his life. Karin wrote a letter to Mr. Larry Ainsworth Hospital CEO to thank him and his team on behalf of home health.
    I feel privileged to work with such loving group of people. I am inspired by how many people from different departments became involved to help this family. This circle continued to expand right into the hospital setting. I am proud to work for a Health System that provides this kind of Loving care to the most vulnerable in our community.

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  2. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    It is a wonderful thing to see how we connect and step up to these types of challenges in the workplace. Outside of my office, I know of some family, friends and neighbors who only see their jobs as a source of income and have few relationships or concerns for co-workers, or the workplace in general.
    I am confident in knowing that although our staff is often challenged with their workloads, timelines and personal duties – they come together quickly and passionately to assist others in crises. I am also proud and very fortunate to be part of this group. As Liz kindly names us, we are Caregivers. Happy New Year.

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  3. JIMBO Avatar
    JIMBO

    SOME CALL US CARE GIVERS SOME PROVIDERS I CARE FOR NONE OF THOSE. I AM A DOCTOR AND THEY ARE PATIENTS NOT CLIENTS. GET THAT RIGHT.

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Hello Doctor,
    Thanks for joining in the dialogue on this Journal and I appreciate that you have shared your thoughts. It seems to me that language is powerful in that it conger up strong images and meanings depending on our varied perspectives. For me, the word caregiver holds a meaning that unites. At our home health, we are trying to move from a mentality of clinical versus non-clinical staff, or it is your job not my job, to everyone has a stake in positively affecting the care of the patient and family. There is an evolving realization that each of us influences the patient experience through our work whether or not we actually have contact with the patient. We recognize that every interaction is an opportunity for a sacred encounter and that we are all caregivers to one another. It is my hope that I do not offend you but hold an intention of increasing understanding through dialogue and I welcome continuing this exchange of ideas.
    Sincerely,
    ~liz

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  5. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    As I continue to reflect on this question about Models of Love, I wish to share these words from John O’Donohue with you. Yesterday I received an e-mail from a beautiful friend who is in transition. This person frequents the Journal and I hope that she will have a chance to read this too.
    “If you try to avoid or remove the awkward quality, it will pursue you. The only effective way to still its unease is to transfigure it, to let it become something creative and positive that contributes to who you are.
    Nietzche said that one of the best days in his life was the day when he re-baptized all his negative qualities as his best qualities. Rather than banishing what is at first glimpse unwelcome, you bring it home to unity with your life…..One of your sacred duties is to exercise kindness toward them. In a sense, you are called to be a loving parent to your delinquent qualities.”
    ~John O’Donahue (Anan Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

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  6. Edwin Loftin Avatar

    Recently I have been leading a process focused on improving the “Model of Care” at PMC. And wow, I just had a V-8 moment…..It is not about the “Model of Care” it is all about the Model of Love.
    Our focus is to provide an experience of Radical Loving care for our patients, for their families, for our Care Partners(including MDs, RNs, and all staff), and for our community.
    With this focus the work of patient healing care will be “easy”. We will stop at each step in the current process and ask what is the healing value. If it is not evident we must remove that step and any barriers. We will make sure that the path to an unwavering focus on the patient is clear, simple, and short.
    The evolutionary revolution we have been taking at PMC puts us at an exceptional place to adopt and embrace our Model of Love within our Vision – Healing Families-Healing Communities.
    This is gonna be fun!

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  7. Tracy Roberts Avatar
    Tracy Roberts

    This reminds me of something I read by Thich Nhat Hanh:
    When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
    Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.

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  8. ~liz Wessel Avatar
  9. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Ed, what a great question to ask, “What is the healing value?”
    Helpful insight, Tracy. Thanks for contributing your thoughts.
    At mass today, Fr. Scott Jenkins, visiting from Denver Colorado, offered a most wonderful homily. He shared this poem and told us it was meant for each one of us and I in turn share it with you, as it is meant for you.
    For a New Beginning
    In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
    where your thoughts never think to wander,
    This beginning has been quietly forming,
    Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
    For a long time it has watched your desire,
    Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
    Noticing how you willed yourself on,
    Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
    It watched you play with the seduction of safety
    And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
    Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
    Wondered would you always live like this.
    Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
    And out you stepped onto new ground,
    Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
    A path of plentitude opening before you.
    Though your destination is not yet clear
    You can trust the promise of this opening;
    Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
    That is at one with your life’s desire.
    Awaken your spirit to adventure;
    Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
    Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
    For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
    ~John O’Donohue
    In short, in Fr. Scott’s eloquent message he encouraged us, to not let feelings of insignificance or self-doubt become barriers. In a world of increasing darkness, we can all shine Love’s light, hope, and joy for others.

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