Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Recent Posts

About

Former President & CEO of multiple hospital systems and founding president & CEO of 20-hospital OhioHealth, best selling author, film artist, ordained minister, composer, published poet, syndicated T.V. host, trial attorney, federal prosecutor and Municipal Court Judge. Erie is internationally known as the founder of the Radical Loving Care(R)movement. He also heads Erie Chapman Foundation, Dane Dakota Productions, LLC, and Chapman Health International, Inc.

Days 9-11 – Gifts and Terrors of Solitude – Open Forum

Fuseli_nightmare400
The great work of the solitary life is gratitude.  – Thomas Merton [image: Nightmare, by Henry Fuselli, 1781)

   A few hours ago, I awoke from the worst nightmare of my life. In it, both my children were young again and in need of my protection. Both were killed. In the nightmare, my grief was so loud that my wife turned from me and left. I then heard myself shouting to the sky: "Nothing matters!"
   I awoke from this nightmare and quickly found my way to gratitude that it was "only" a dream. But, as we all know, dreams feel completely real. That is why nightmares are so terrifying. In my waking state, I thought of the people for whom the nightmare is real. In Iraq, the Gaza Strip, and many other parts of the world, parents will lose their children today. It won't be a nightmare. It will be real.

   The toxic terror of my dream lingered for awhile. I was not planning to share it here, and then I took another look at Merton's book, Thoughts in Solitude.
   Which comes first, courage or passion? For me, it is courage. Even when I am completely in touch with my many passions, I find that it takes great courage for me to live what I love.
   In a reflection earlier this week, I wrote about how solitude can feel terrifying. In my own case, it felt that way to me in 1997 because, although I had enough money, I had no job. Solitude in the middle of that was solitude with no sense of the existence of any oasis. In my mind, at the time, no job for me meant that I did not exist. I hope I have grown beyond that. Only a time of solitude without work would tell me.
   What about you? What are the gifts and terrors of solitude for you?
-Erie Chapman

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7 responses to “Days 9-11 – Gifts and Terrors of Solitude – Open Forum”

  1. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    The terrors of solitude – Under all the veneer, I will have to face the demons and skeletons that are buried. The gifts of solitude – there are also joys and great things in the midst of the demons. Courage is key for me.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    I am grateful for your personal sharing. I agree it takes great courage to live your passion, a great many of us slink back into the shadows fearful of failing. Therefore, I applaud you! Dreams fascinate. Throughout my life, I have had many dreams of unending chase. My most terrifying dream was some years ago when a murderous man chased after me. He had killed my family in a gruesome way. As he chased after me, I ran and hid under a bed. For some reason, as I thought of how I would never see my children again, I came out from under the bed to stand and face my attacker. He looked at me and said, “It must feel good to stop running.” I approached him looked deep into his eyes and stroked his cheek in a forgiving way. Then I woke up.
    This is an ‘aha’ moment for me as I realize a similar theme from a recent dream I had during my brothers illness. A man was sent to kill me and he shot me, (this time not gruesome.) I looked into his eyes, touched is face and told him, “I love you.” As I have shared on this Journal before, my biggest fear has been death. I have been running and hiding from death all my life. On a subconscious level illogical fears seem to stifle my risking the ‘Hero’s Journey.’ My irrational thoughts caution that to embrace life fully might actually hasten death.
    Yet, as my spiritual understanding deepens I believe I see how living in the shadow of death increases awareness. On some level, I think I am learning to befriend death and to live in gratitude as I awaken to the precious gifts of living Love. I have come to know that there is no death as Love is eternal and unending. As my heart opens to Love, my fears dissipate and I am free t live in Love’s light in communion with others.
    I have enjoyed spending time over the holidays with my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. In the dawn of this morning, they have left for their home in S. Dakota. Sadness befalls me as I know it will be quite some time before I see them again. Life gives us many opportunities to befriend little deaths in our living. Changes, new beginnings, chapter endings. We rejoice, we Love, we mourn. Each new day is waiting for our embrace; gracefully and with thanksgiving.

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  3. Edwin Loftin Avatar
    Edwin Loftin

    Solitude–what a topic for today..today there is no solitude and today there is absolute solitude.
    Today a restful end to a exceptional existance on this earth occurred. In that end there is no solitude, for my family reaching across many locations and miles are together. We celebrate, we mourne, we reflect on the 89 years of life and love of my dad. A man who was born in the same house he died, a man who was married to the love of his life for 57 years, a man who has 3 children and seven addoring grandchildren all in college.
    Solitude exists for each of us today as we reach out to each other but must deal with this passing in our own way.
    Solitude does not exist for my father as he joins his entire family in spirit and soul and as he joins God and Love.
    Bless you all for assuring no solitude in Loving Care.

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  4. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Dear Ed,
    My heartfelt condolences go out to you today and to your family as you mourn the loss of your beloved father.
    With Love and sadness,
    ~liz

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  5. Diana Gallaher Avatar
    Diana Gallaher

    Dear Edwin: I too send you my heartfelt condolences with the death of your father. love and peace, Diana

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  6. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    And a man said, Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.
    And he answered, saying:
    Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
    But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge.
    You would know in words that
    which you have always known in thought.
    You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.
    And it is well you should.
    The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs
    rise and run murmuring to the sea;
    And the treasure of your infinite depths
    would be revealed to your eyes.
    But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;
    And seek not the depths of your knowledge
    with staff or sounding line.
    For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
    Say not, “I have found the truth”
    but rather, “I have found a truth.”
    Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.”
    Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”
    For the soul walks upon all paths.
    The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
    The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.
    ~Kahil Gibran

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  7. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    An Additional reflection on lonliness versus solitude…
    There is a deep loneliness can overtake us when we feel we have lost love. When we experience a loss of self, emptiness drops us into a pit of despair, which feels too painful to bear. Our struggle is in the recognition that Love can never be lost and find our way back into the light. When we experience solitude it is not lonely because we are in that place of knowing what we truly are in Love.

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