Journal of Sacred Work

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. – Elizabeth Barret Browning (1850)

We all brought empty shoe boxes to my first grade classroom at Warner Elementary School in Westwood, California. There were slots cut into the top so that our shoe box could act as a mail box to receive cards from other children.
   Our teacher had arranged this for the Friday before Valentine's Day. We were all given time to make Valentines out of construction paper, glue and crayons. Then came the big part. When the little hand was on the 10 and the big hand was on the 12, the teacher said: "Children, you may now put your Valentines into the shoe boxes of your friends. And they will do the same for you."
   Even at that young age, something immediately struck me as mean about this. In the midst of my happiness over my own box full of cards, I looked up to see other children with no cards at all. Hastily, the teacher went around to these children and dropped in a card from her. One girl with an empty box started to cry. "What's fun about this?" I thought to myself as I handed her one of my cards.
   It's hard for Love to thrive is an atmosphere where some are "loved" and others are excluded.
   Early in life, children are given the strong signal that there are some people to whom we can give our affection and trust and others who don't "deserve it." It's a devilish sort of message. It tells us that Love is some kind of quantitative thing that we need to dole out carefully lest we run out.
   The reason Love doesn't run out is that it doesn't come from us, it comes through us. Yes, I know that Valentine's Day celebrates the exclusivity of romantic love. There are special people who have captured our hearts. For them, we will give them something heart-shaped to celebrate the intimacy of romance.
   What about those whose shoe boxes will be empty this Valentine's Day? Is there some way that we, as caregivers, can honor these people? Is there some way we can live Love by finding a lonely soul and handing them the gift of our Love?
   What do you think?

-Erie Chapman