Journal of Sacred Work

     Sometimes the consequences of love asks a giving of self beyond what may appear necessary or essential. Yet it seems that some of us have learned to live out of distrust and self-protection. Living authentically and with integrity of all that makes each of us a unique gift as members of humanity takes courage and sometimes boldness. Creating community takes compassion and great love.

     David Whyte asks in his poem (recorded in yesterday's post in this journal) "I want to know if you are prepared to live in this world with its harsh need to change you. If you can look back with firm eyes saying this is where I stand." I want to stand on the side of love, compassion, and empathy – always, even and especially in the face of difference. Of course in the face of moral wrong I must also take a stand. I cringed at the headline in my local paper that proclaimed "Christians back torture despite faith." Buried in the article is the detail of the percentage (44%) of regular church goers who actually believe that. I stand as a Christian and I think torture is wrong. Yet there are those who make sweeping generalizations and jump to incomplete and inaccurate assumptions about me because of my professed faith and religious affiliation. If I sometimes feel misjudged how much more, I wonder, do others feel misunderstood.

     Mary Mackenzie speaks of empathy as a potent healer: "I cannot say it enough. Most of us rarely feel truly heard and understood. Empathy, the simple act of hearing someone and focusing your attention on them, can be incredibly healing. Try to listen for the feelings and needs behind someone's words. This isn't always easy, but the results are remarkable." Her words remind me of the gentle and deeply wise counsel offered by Dr. Rachel Remen – listen, she offers. Just listen. "A loving silence," writes Dr. Remen, "often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words."

     My own words, though well-intentioned, still too often get in the way. Words seem to do that, with judgment, reaction, and hurt rushing in for the ride. Love calls us to respond, sometimes indeed with tough mindedness yet always with tender heartedness. I wonder today if you feel truly heard and understood. What helps you feel heard and known? How can we as caregivers best offer healing through empathy?