Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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Caregivers are so often expected to be perfect: to make sure each medication is counted correctly, that each chart is filled out accurately, that each person's needs are met.
This may lead to caregivers being very hard on themselves. Thus, the first part of this poem from Elizabeth Carlson, called "Imperfection," may be helpful:

I am falling in love
   with my imperfections
The way I never get the sink really clean,
forget to check my oil,
lose my car in parking lots,
miss appointments I have written down,
am just a little late.

I am learning to love
   the small bumps on my face
   the big bump of my nose,
   my hairless scalp,
chipped nail polish
toes that overlap.
Learning to love
   the open-ended mystery
     of not knowing why…

Is there wisdom in accepting our imperfections so that we may turn our attention what is beautiful in the world?

Erie Chapman

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2 responses to “Days 170-172 – The Wisdom of Imperfection”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar
    ~liz Wessel

    Thank you for the grace offered in this poem and meditation. I find it helpful to reflect upon this concept of acceptance. I continually seek outside affirmation from the world as a sign of my worthiness. When I perceive it is not received my struggle is in the stories that I tell myself as I focus on my imperfections. I want the world to see beauty and light in me and I try to hold on to these images and avoid the parts that disappoint me. I am thankful that I do sit with a small circle of woman friends as we offer each other acceptance of our imperfections.
    I am at a stage in life where I am confronting several variations of loss. Author, David Whyte provides fruitful insights and asks, “What would my life be like if I had as much faith in the parts of me that were fading away as I had in the parts of me that are growing? Embracing loss, we begin to understand the necessity of failure, and in the possibility of failure begin to understand the magnificence of even the humblest human path. We come to accept that every one of us can fail, fail to live the life we desire for ourselves, or even fail to uncover the desire itself. Without failure we have no possibility of appreciating or praising the life well lived, the work well done, a place well taken care of, or the greater ecology that makes up our home.”
    As I struggle with my own imperfections an inner voices says to me, “Accept this gift, life as it is.” As I begin to accept what life offers without trying to author it, and let go of my Goldilocks response of “This is too much, oh, this is not enough and it is never quite right.” If I can accept this gift, I will turn toward and see the beauty that is in all.
    I received this passage by author James Finley this morning that is meaningful to this discourse and I wish to share it with you.
    “It does not matter what little thing you might choose within or around you. It might just be the thing that awakens you from your fitful dream of being separate from God, who is the reality of yourself and all that is real. May each of us be so fortunate as to be overtaken by God in the midst of little things. May we each be so blessed as to be finished off by God, swooping down from above, welling up from beneath, to extinguish the illusion of separateness that perpetuates our fears. And may we, in having our illusory, separate self slain by God, be born into a new and true awareness of who we really are one with God forever. May we continue on in this true awareness, seeing in each and every little thing we see, the fullness of God’s presence in our lives. And may we be someone in whose presence others are better able to recognize God’s presence in their lives, so that they, too, might know the freedom of the children of God.”
    “What I got most from Merton is this: the grace of God utterly and wholly permeates our lives, just as they are in the present moment. All our failures and weaknesses are absolutely irrelevant in the face of such all-pervading grace.
    ~James Finley

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  2. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    I appreciate the wisdom and grace in your words today. When I choose to be accepting of my imperfections, I am able to offer more compassion to others. As my youth slowly fades away, it is easy to lose sight of the fabulous things that come with age and maturity. Thank you for this reminder of being present with where I am.

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