I was reminded recently by my son about how much advice I've given him over the years. He's been astoundingly effective at following the best advice he's received from everyone around him and now he is, quite literally, a counselor himself, advising people as an attorney in Boston.
But, he has correctly zeroed in on a problem I have which many advisers share. I have terrible trouble following my own advice.
Why is it that preachers so often fall, why preacher's kids so often break the rules, why politicians often have affairs, why cops sometimes end up as criminals?
We know what we're supposed to do, so why don't we do that – especially those of us who, like me are tossing out free advice every day?
The "Love Police" who are near to me delight in pointing out any time I fail to follow my own counsel. "Nice job, Mr. Radical Loving Care," one of them will say if I make some caddy comment about another leader or otherwise depart from the rules of Christian kindness. They're right of course. And perhaps this leads to whatever wisdom may exist for all of us who, as caregivers, are called to dole out words of wisdom.
Advisers are NOT any better at being examples of the things they advise about than anyone else. They simply understand, sometimes, better ways to articulate the advice.
Whether you agree with his religious views or not, Jimmy Swaggart was a powerful orator from the pulpit. He was even eloquent, in the eyes of some, when he gave his well publicized apology for straying from the moral path he was telling everyone to stay on.
Elliot Spitzer was an effective Attorney General of New York who prosecuted criminals, including many on Wall Street. He was also an effective state governor. One day his credibility took a fatal blow when New Yorkers learned he was patronizing the very kind of establishment he had once prosecuted.
Of course, millions of us are better at telling other people how to be good parents than we are at being one ourselves. We know the right points. But, man, can they ever be hard to live in real life.
The Greeks built flaws into their heroes. We expect our heroes to be flawless – especially if they are so bold as to advise us on how we should behave.
My son's implied criticism makes me doubt very much if I should keep offering any advice to anyone else. I've already done plenty of that.
At the same time, if what we write, here, helps energize and illuminate some aspect of life for others, perhaps it's still worth it – maybe.
-Erie Chapman
Journal of Sacred Work 
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