What I see, in this fuzzy little photo I took with my cell phone of my 19-month granddaughter, looks very much like joy and peace. Sonia calls this fun part of the toy store "a ball pit."
The mere mention of the "ball pit," at any time of day or evening, brings a smile to Sonia's face as she instantly thinks back. She is no doubt reflecting on that happy little tingle she feels each time she overcomes her fear of falling and jumps into something that turns out to be a fun fall instead of a painful one.
Young as she is, she knows this fear of falling. She also knows now how comfortable it feels, after this kind of jump, to lie amid the friendly plastic balls. No one is shouting fear at her. And she has no awareness of the troubles of the world, some of which she is bound to experience personally if she is blessed with long life.
At the moment, she is simply happy.
In order to find her happy moments in this little game, Sonia had to find the courage to make her first jump. Falling is bad, isn't it? she must have thought. But, instead, she was being urged to make this leap. To jump, she had to trust the urging of her father. Her trust was rewarded.
We've all had this kind of experience, although we may not have analyzed it. The great philosopher and theologian Soren Kierkegaard wrote that if we want to know Love, we must overcome one of our inborn fears with a leap into the arms of a God we cannot see. Kierkegaard called this crucial decision "the leap of faith." It is a decision that calls us to let go of logic in favor of trust.
Sonia's mind analyzes the situation before her with the knowledge that jumping is dangerous. Before her first jump, as she surveyed the colored balls below her, how could she accept that it would be safe to risk jumping?
It's a tiny example, but I find I often learn the most from such everyday moments.
Our minds tell us to trust what our logic reveals. Meanwhile, our memories poke us with painful recollections of past betrayals.
In the movie "The Great Santini" the tough father played by Robert Duvall tries to teach his son about betrayal. He has him jump from a high place promising he will catch him. He then steps away and lets his son take a painful fall. He then says something like, "That'll teach you not to trust anyone, son."
This message of distrust is very powerful in all our lives. We've been tricked before and it often hurts. Why should we trust? Why should we Love patients and co-workers and leaders when we have a mean-spirited supervisor who seems to govern out of fear?
Every leap of faith requires a moment of courage. There is always the risk that we will be hurt again as we have been before. And there is that time when, in mid-leap, we experience the panic that comes when we begin to doubt if we will ever be caught – if God is really there. And there is the special joy that exists only for those willing to surrender to Love and leap all the way into her lap.
How do you feel about taking such a leap?
-Erie Chapman
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