Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

About

   My twenty-one month old granddaughter has discovered the teeter-totter. "Teeter totter goes up down, up down," she chirps happily. 
Teeter-totter 2
   My five-year old grandson has a more advanced philosophical view of the same piece of playground apparatus. "When you get on a teeter totter, Baba," he advised me recently, "be sure someone bigger doesn't get on the other end." You can imagine how he arrived at that conclusion. 
   At the risk of raising a too-obvious parallel: What does our "teeter totter" look like? We run our daily checks to find out: Are my patients up or down? Is my job going well? Is my family doing okay? How does my hair look? How is my health? Am I exercising enough?
   Up down, up down. 
   We spend a big part of our lives attempting to hold our balance as the physics of our the teeter totter shift in and out of our control. Indeed, are we ever really in control of anything or is control simply an illusion? 
   It's easy to discuss the concept of balance when all the arrows of our lives appear to be aligned in the same direction. What happens when some unexpected tragedy destroys the carefully arranged furniture of our world? 
   Like you, I have experienced my share of life tragedies and unexpected events: from auto accidents to deaths, from fake hospital bomb threats to tragic hospital murders, from tripping down the stairs (which I did yesterday) to acquiring a chronic illness (which I did more than four decades ago.)
   To survive, we learn to cope. As caregivers, can the pain of our own trouble inform our hearts with the compassion our patients need from us? 
   One of the most compassionate caregivers I ever met, Neuro-ICU nurse Deadre Hall, says at the beginning of our film, Sacred Work, "People get up in the morning, just like you and me, and they get into their car to drive to work, and they don't know that they're going to end up here in a bed paralyzed."
   Deadre's ability, after more than thirty years as a caregiver, to stay in touch with the pain of others is one of the things that makes her the kind of nurse you would want caring for your mother – or you. 
   The teeter totter of our lives will always move up and down, even if we do everything just right. How do you hold your balance when something that seems too big climbs on the other end?

-Erie Chapman 
Posted in

4 responses to “Day 276 – The Teeter Totter”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Gosh, I hope you were not hurt when you tripped on the stairs. I recently fell when crossing the street and although I did not get physically hurt, my ego was definitely bruised. I felt embarrassed and all shook up.
    The seesaw is such a great analogy for our attempts to maintain balance in life. For me it is a daily struggle that I can never quite master, as there always seems to be more to do than what is humanly possible. I agree, control is an illusion. This brings me back to seeking a balance that flows from within and of primary importance is meditation and prayer, which helps to keep our hearts open and Loving towards others and ourselves. I aspire to live each waking moment in a prayer of gratitude.
    I just realized the stem of my resistance at the opening night of the St. Matt’s Healing retreat. The question posed, “Why would God give this to me” when something bad happens was disturbing to me. I do not believe God chooses bad things for us, even though bad things happen in life. I cannot accept this supposition for it is not the God I know. Oh, that I might surrender completely to Love’s will and not hold out, even a little.
    I feel I am emerging from a fog and as my mind clears and perspective is returning, I acknowledge that the past two years have been difficult due to significant changes in the lives of my family and the experience of loss…and so we cope. This Journal and the friendships shared has been such a beacon of light, hope, sustenance, and Love for me. Thank you.
    “When despair for the world grows in me, and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be — I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought or grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.” ~Wendall Berry

    Like

  2. openid.aol.com/vff27 Avatar

    What a beautiful story to start the week, and a reminder of my youth in the photo.
    Erie, I don’t know how to respond to your question. There are days when we move quickly through and may not look at the vehicle we’re on. If I did, I’d position myself constantly. And, there are days when we can’t seem to move without knowing we’re on that teeter totter and that if not careful, we will tilt.
    Then there’s those big things that climb onto the other side; GEEZ, that’s a struggle to stay balanced and hope to win at the end of the battle. To arm myself, I begin with prayer, and frequent reminders of God’s love and strength to help me to get through.
    I guess I’m not one to question why things go the way they do. Although I don’t look for trouble and grief, I try to understand the message when they occur. This ignorant perspective may be my saving grace…
    P.S. Erie, please do take care of yourself!

    Like

  3. Julie Laverdiere Avatar

    To have that balance of our lives, is I believe the hardest activity we have to do with our lives. We can’t ignore our own health, our families and certainly not the lives we have in front of us to take care of.
    I pray daily to have that balance, as it is essential to what we do. Love and honor each other as we would ourselves. That means, manage tthe tetter-totter daily!

    Like

  4. openid.aol.com/vff27 Avatar

    The vff27 id is Victoria Facey

    Like

Leave a reply to openid.aol.com/vff27 Cancel reply