Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it." – Hebrews 13:2

   You may well be familiar with the above scripture. It calls us to recognize the divine in all people. 

Addict-   But, the popular image we have of angels is inconsistent with so many of the people that appear before caregivers. If I am an ER nurse, how do I see an angel in the face of a criminal brought to the ER for stabbing a child? How do I see God through the smell of an alcoholic or drug addict who enters the emergency department for the 3rd time this month? 

   Most difficult of all may be the kind of patient we have often referenced in the Journal. It is the angry man in the patient gown who threatens to get us fired. It is the cranky old woman who throws a bed pan at the door. It is the drug addicted mother who delivers a baby into a state of withdrawal. 

   As we pass judgment – as we decide in our hearts that some are unworthy of care, we diminish caregiving and defeat Love. It is natural to turn our energy toward those who are friendly and appreciative. Love calls us to see not the obvious angel, but the one hidden behind masks of anger or apathy or despair. 

   Caregivers are are typically among the most kind-hearted among us (as well as high-skilled.) Yet, even the best can be tested by hard patients.

   How difficult is it for you to "show hospitality to strangers" when you see those strangers as difficult people?

-Erie Chapman 

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6 responses to “Days 338-340 – Entertaining Angels”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    There is no denying it can be very difficult… especially if I am trying to help someone who does not want my help. I think a different approach could be helpful. To begin, rather than impose what I think a person needs, I could ask what is important to them. Rather than enter in with an agenda of “this is what you must do” I could listen with an intention of wanting to understand. Listen…and if I can learn about the person’s life; their story I just might discover something in a human being who is suffering is also in me.

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    P.S. I think it is important to keep in mind that people have a choice. Through motivational interviewing caregivers can assist individuals to address their ambivalence in making behavioral changes that could improve their health and quality of life. Psychologists found this helpful when working with people who had alcoholism. This new “Health Coaching” methodology is about partnering with people who have chronic health conditions to engage them in a self-care management process. I am very excited about the possibilities of this new collaborative approach and I will be teaching it to clinicians at our ministry.

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  3. Victoria Facey Avatar

    Sometimes when I encounter a difficult person I challenge myself to find a warm spot in them. If we can begin a conversation, I work to learn of their problem/issue and if nothing more, be a listener.
    I recently visited my father who is now in home hospice. We are re-building a relationship from decades of him being an absent parent. As I offer support and suggestions, he shuts me down for being naive and doesn’t respect my input.
    My father is hardened and unvailable to give the warmth and support I so longed for during his absence. However, we are connected in blood, so I don’t give up so easily. Only when he closes his eyes to nod off in the hospital could I see the angel (and the child) in him. I will not likely get the hugs or the love I so desperately missed from my father, however I acknowledge that he will soon head in a direction of peace and healing. And I believe I will also receive the same during this process…

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  4. Marilyn Donan Avatar

    I just wanted to comment on “angels.” First, it is difficult to see angels in difficult patients. Maybe they are behaving badly to see if we, as caregivers,are willing to be their “angels.” When my husband was terminally ill, it was only the angels around us who made life bearable. And they came in all shapes, colors and sizes. Angels were the people who came over and brought me dinner when I couldn’t leave the house. One angel was the exterminator who talked with me and offered sage advice that really helped me. And there was a nurse who was willing to call the doctor at 2 AM because the pain medication wasn’t working. I know that’s her job, but still not a phone call everyone would be willing to make. With the memory of what people did for me, I strive to be “someone’s angel” when I work as a nurse. And, honestly, I have to struggle to find the angel in difficult people, but an interesting challenge.

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  5. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Love shines on good and bad, on light and dark without distinction.
    “Love is in the meeting.” ~M.Buber

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  6. Karen York Avatar
    Karen York

    You challenge us at the very heart of what we claim we are. We want to be loving beings, yet are so quick to judge. Our fears and pre-determined biases often prevent us from seeing through the exterior to the heart of god. Luckily we have been granted the same kind of love from the creator who has not turned her back on us when we are at our worst. We are all vessels in need of understanding and grace.

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