Journal of Sacred Work

"Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." – Mozart

    When I attended YMCA camp as a boy (only slightly older than I was in the ancient photo at left) there was a motto carved in a wood slab above the dining hall door. It read "I'm third."

   The first time I saw the motto, I assumed it meant something about loving my neighbor. But, if that were true, I wondered, why wouldn't I be second?

   I've long since learned that other camps have the motto, that some Sunday school teachers teach it, and that preachers preach it. 

   The Bible, and most religions, teach us to revere God first. So the camp motto, as a direct expression of our faith, lights the way to Love's three commandments. If we live these directives, are the rest of the ten commandments even necessary?

1) God (as Love) is first, This commandment is symbolized by the Golden Thread of Loving Care. This is the tradition of healing which extends back to the beginning of caregiving. All Love flows from God. Loving caregivers hold a Golden Thread in their hands that connects to all the caregivers before them and will run through the hearts of all caregivers yet to come.

2) The other person is second (even our enemies) – When we Love others, we are loving God. The symbol to remember this commandment is the Sacred Encounter. Here Love meets need with God's Love living in the intersecting oval.

3) I'm third – Although God and others come first, God lives in us and through us. This is seen in the image of the Servant's Heart.

   Jesus taught these commandments of Love. Mozart (and all other great creative people) understood that the only way to engage creative energy was by opening his ears to God, by letting God come through him.) And the leadership of my YMCA camp understood these three commandments (perhaps also inspiring three witty kids, below, to get some help in spelling out the Y letters in a local museum.)       

    How do caregivers live God's Love? In an important way, Love's three commandments are inextricably linked. When we love others, we are honoring God. When we love ourselves as a creation of God, we are also living Love.  

   We all know that living the interwoven elements of Love is even more difficult than it seems. We don't engage the energy of God's Love simply by wanting it. We also don't enter the stream of God's Love if we serve others primarily for our own benefit.

   But, the truth is, how do we help others without also secretly hoping for some kind of spiritual "credit?" The way I discover this is through a simple self-test. If I find myself expecting that my acts of love will be reciprocated in some way from the other person or group I think I've served – even if it's only with a thank you – then I know that my intention to help someone else has been tainted.

   If I can come to the point where I am able to help another without expectation of personal benefit (including expecting that God will some how love me more if I help someone else.) If I can do this, then I have taken a step toward Love.

   Most days, I fail my own test.

   Maybe the other part of the self test is that we sometimes discover, after our act of Love, that we are surprised by the warm feeling that flows through us. We were not expecting to feel good when we helped another, thinking it would be a painful sacrifice. Suddenly, we give help and along comes a sweet surge of energy.

   In the course of efforts to live God's Love, I used to find myself giving God a report about all the wonderful things I'd done that day just to be sure, of course, that God knew. Naturally, God's Love needs no report from us.

   This may be why Love comes via an open and humble heart and cannot be grabbed with the use of a closed fist.

   I do not believe in a punishing God. Assuming (as I do) that God is Love, then Love would not "punish" us in the way so many seem to imagine. Instead, I believe that we punish ourselves when we chose to live only for our own benefit. The more we are caught in our own ego, the more distant we become from God's Love.

   It's awfully cold out there when we're away from God's Love, isn't it?

   It can also feel like a lonely world for loving caregivers if they never receive thanks from patients, co-workers, or anyone else. As beings filled with appetites, our bodies need water to drink as well as the living water described so beautifully by Jesus in the story of the woman at the well. We need to be somehow recognized in relationship with others.

   This is why loving leaders regularly affirm and encourage first line caregivers. This is why loving co-workers seek to inspire each other with praise and recognition.

   What is important about Love's third commandment is that we also need to nurture ourselves. We cannot help others if both our bodies and our spirits are both malnourished.

   The sometimes strange-seeming appetites of artists need to be filled in order for their inspiration to take root in their creation. Artists need bread for their round-trip journeys to other levels of consciousness.

   Similarly, the appetites and needs of caregivers, for food, rest and personal reflection, need to be met in order for them to serve others. Some people enjoy using phrases like, "recharging their batteries," or "filling up the tank." The reason I don't like these analogies is that they suggest that we are only bodies needing mechanical infusions.

   Yes, our physical self needs nurturing. Yet, God did not create us merely as automobiles whose gas tanks need to be refilled. The spirit needs more than this. That is why we have been given the power to engage God's loving energy. And that is why Love brings the only true inner peace.

   When caregivers live Love, they serve God, the other person, and themselves.

-Rev. Erie Chapman, J.D.