Journal of Sacred Work

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   In the face of conflict, Love may elude us. Instead, arguments trigger fear and awaken our ancient fight or flight response.

   The inherent intensity of the hospital experience guarantees that caregivers will routinely encounter conflict. When arguments arise, the challenge to rediscover Love is immense. Success in meeting this challenge is crucial in order to serve the needs of others

   Who will take the first step to resolve conflict when it rises up? Once again, I turn to the striking eloquence of John O'Donohue:

"Now is the time for one of you to be gracious,
To allow a kindness beyond thought and hurt,
Reach out with sure hands
To take the chalice of your love,
And carry it carefully through this echoless waste
Until this winter pilgrimage leads you
Toward the gateway to spring."

   May we all find Love in the midst of turmoil.

-Erie Chapman

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3 responses to “Day 64 – Love Amid Conflict”

  1. Victoria Facey Avatar

    Erie, this is a subject that few recognize when tension is present. In the old days, the standard response was to be the “better” man/person. These days, there is no diplomacy given when anger rules.
    I’ve seen mention of John O’Donohue on this site and this poem is so well stated for your post. I’ll now have to look for his books. Thank you and have a great weekend!

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  2. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    Thanks for sharing this grace filled expression of John O’Donohue.
    Erie, you raise an important issue. It is a life long quest for me to learn healthy communication skills. Unfortunately, these skills are not taught to us during our school years. Nor do we necessarily see these behaviors modeled in our families while growing up. The autonomic fight/flight reactions can be translated into behaviors of violence or silence. The great news is we can change. We have opportunities to continue learning and growing throughout our lives. One helpful book is called Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, et. Al. The authors recommend that when a conflict arises to take a step back and make it safe for the other person who is feeling threatened. Then start with heart and think about what you really want for you, the other person and your relationship. These few simple steps take us from reacting to break the cycle of our patterned behaviors. I highly recommend this book but caution change is not easy, it requires a sincere desire to improve and continual effort. However, progress is possible one conversation at a time. 😉

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  3. Marily Paco Tronco Avatar
    Marily Paco Tronco

    Being proactive is one thought I remembered during one of empowering talks at our workplace, conflict prevention is the way to go. Still we face conflict routinely at different levels.
    Love always has its place in whatever encounter, we are reminded. To allow kindness beyond thought and hurt… is not easy but with practice it may come smoothly, boosted with learned healthy communication skills. Proactively living love may be all what we need. In the midst of turmoil, there He is also.

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