Our first encounter with Love likely occurred with our mothers. It is against her breasts and in the presence of her voice that we feel caring. She is our first caregiver.
I have often told the story of a physician at Baptist Hospital System's flagship in Nashville who approached me about my loving care initiative. I was President & CEO of the hospital at the time. The doctor, an orthopedic surgeon, said to me, "This loving care stuff sounds okay, but when my patient enters the ER with a compound fracture in his right leg why is this loving concept important? I mean, the leg doesn't need love, it needs fixing."
"What about the person attached to the leg?" I asked. Doesn't the person need loving care?
His expression told me he wasn't convinced. "Maybe," he answered. "But, it's skill that matters."
"What if the person with the compound fracture was your mother?" I asked. "What would you want for her?"
His expression changed. "Oh, well of course, I would want everyone to give her loving care."
The Mother Test was born in my head at that moment. Why does Loving Care matter? Why do we want it to be radical love, God's Love passing through us, not just some garden-variety kindness?
The answer is that we want love for those we love. And we especially want loving care when those who are dear to us are made vulnerable by illness or injury. Imagine your child. Imagine your spouse, Imagine your best friend. What do you want for them when they come to your hospital for care?
Here is the ultimate test.
Your mother (or someone else you dearly love) is admitted to the hospital where you work. No one in the hospital (or hospice) knows it is your mother and you are out of town and out of touch. How confident are you that each and every person who encounters our mother will treat her with loving care?
What about the night shift? What about the phlebotimist who draws her blood? What about the patient transporter and the housekeeper and the radiologic technologist and the dietician and the nurses and the array of physicians?
Hospitals employ and provide privileges to vast numbers of people. Can we be sure that each of them will care for our mothers in ways that we would want?
Again, the reason why loving care matters is that's what we want for our mothers. Every patient is a child of God in need of help. Every patient was born from a mother. How can we ensure that the culture in which we work creates that kind of care?
Some people think gaining across-the-hospital consistency is impossible. Fortunately, they are mistaken. One of the great examples of consistency in loving care (competence and compassion) is the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. The Clinic advances "The Mayo Way." This culture is so imbued in the staff that anyone who departs from the standard is invited out of the organization. Millions of patients have experienced this level of excellence and consistency. The culture feeds on itself breeding an environment of world class care.
Culture determines behavior. A loving culture breeds loving care. A mediocre culture tolerates sub-standard performance and makes no efforts to accomplish meaningful change.
Inconsistency in loving care is a classic illustration of the difficulty in applying what we all believe. We all want love. Most of us lack the courage and persistence to insure that it is practiced in the sacred environments of caregiving.
Other hospitals besides the Mayo Clinic (Parrish Medical Center in Titusville, Florida, for example) have established high levels of consistency. Every hospital and hospice can do this. It is not a question of understanding, it is a challenge to the will and to skill informed by God's Love.
The Mother Test is the only one that matters. Can your organization pass it? How can culture be changed so that this test can be passed?
-Erie Chapman
First photo, above, Erie Chapman, 1978. Second photo, stock image.
Journal of Sacred Work 
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