In this Easter season,
memories of my late mother-in-law, Helen Wessel come to life. Helen was a
unifying presence in our family until her death in 1997. While Woody and
I raised our two sons, Helen was there for us like no other, offering consistent loving support. She adored her grandsons and they loved their grandma. As Erie often points out, this is not to say she lived a
perfect life without any faults. No, she lived a very human life. However, I
can truly say that during the 16 years I knew her, she loved her life away.
Hers was a selfless love that transmuted into pure gold.
Helen and Pop had a large
garden filled with vegetables and fruit they planted and harvested for table. They hosted family
dinners where everyone was welcome and there was always room for
one more. I consider myself very fortunate to have had a good relationship with
my mother-in-law because not all my friends could say the same. I loved Helen and I watched closely to learn from her wisdom, so that
someday I too could be a great mother-in-law, just like her.
Helen suffered with severe arthritic
pain that gnawed at her constantly. Her limbs were stiff and did not always cooperate so she a
used a walker. Still, she persevered and made continual efforts to be of
service to others. Helen worked tirelessly her whole life. She was a crossing
guard at the elementary school, volunteered at school and was very active at church for many years.
After mass, Helen would take Holy Communion
to her home bound friends (who were actually less debilitated than she was.) Helen
was a devout Catholic. She never preached, instead she was a person of loving
action or as St. Francis of Assisi taught “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
At mass during this Easter
season, I have listened to scripture readings about Jesus’ resurrection and His
subsequent appearances. Initially, Mary Magdalene did not recognize him in the garden, nor did his disciples.
Painting, “Supper at Emmaus,” by
Danish Artist Carl H. Block 1834-1890
It was spiritually significant to
me that Helen died three days after Easter. “On the third day he arose
again.” I deeply mourned her passing. I had always appreciated Helen but it was
not until her death that I suddenly recognized who she really was; Christ. I could
not believe that I had not seen her true essence. This realization hit me hard
and I wondered how could I have been so blind?
Mary Magdalene the very moment she recognizes Jesus, anonymous artist.
This leads me to wonder
what it is about time that lulls us into taking our lives, and the people in it, for
granted. Perhaps, it is because we are moving so fast that the challenges of
the day-to-day take precedence and can overwhelm us. I think of people close to
me, who consistently offer support in kind and understated ways. Yet, when distracted
I risk missing the significance of these loving gestures and the many blessings I receive.
In Sunday’s gospel reading,
Jesus asks his disciple Peter a question, “ Peter, do you love me?” Here He is referring to agape love (Greek, meaning unconditional love.) "Yes", Peter responds, " I love you." (philia, Greek, meaning brotherly love.) Yet, Jesus continues to ask three times because Peter misses the important distinction. I
am not a theologian, but the number three seems to hold spiritual
significance throughout scripture. For example, the Holy Trinity and "For where two or three are gathered in My name, there Am I in the
midst of them."
Whether religious or not, I believe that there are three primary questions to consider when encountering another person:
1. Do you hear me?
Am
I really listening…or am I distracted and preoccupied with my own thoughts? As
caregivers to one another the most precious gift we can offer is our full
listening presence.
Nasa, The following three photos were shared by Tatjana-Mihaela. (Click on photo to enlarge images)
2. Do you know me?
Is my heart open to see the
real essence of person in front of me? Do I superficially judge and exclude others
based on labels that objectify and dehumanize? Are my perceptions fear-based?
Can I see the goodness that is in you; that spark of Divine light within your soul?
Nasa Photo
3. Do you Love me?
It matters not if you and I
are worthy. What matters is that we love and however imperfectly, I do Love
you.
~Liz Sorensen Wessel
Journal of Sacred Work 
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