Journal of Sacred Work

   This past winter, I got into a ridiculous argument with my younger brother (aren't they always ridiculous?) Instead of letting go, instead of letting God's Love inform me, I continued to nurture this anger, to self-justify my position and why I was right. I forgot the images of my brother and I as little guys (like the boys in the photo) and all of our family memories. All I could see, at the moment, was my brother become my temporary enemy. How silly – especially at my age!

   Needless to say, my own foolishness temporarily sent a droplet of poison into our sibling relationship. Eventually, I listened to Love, sent an apology, followed it with a few loving gestures, and the relationship seems restored. Yet, a small scar may also have formed.

   Why did I engage my puny self-interest instead of looking to God? My dear friend, Tracy Wimberly, says that when this happens, it is because we forget. Her view is generous.

   Imagine if we let God's Love inform all our relationships. After all, our sense of well being turns so often on the balance we maintain with others and with the world.

   Consider the many relationships in your life – as a caregiver and beyond. In each case, consider not only the circles in which you live, but what happens if you lose contact with these circles:

WORK CIRCLE: There are the four relationships: You to your patient; you to your team members; you to your leader; you to yourself and God. Imagine how often anger and irritation inform these relationships. Imagine how the engagement of God's Love would help. What if we suddenly cast out of this circle by termination or other departure? How would we continue to value the circle of which we have been a part?

FAMILY CIRCLE: It seems like the phrase "dysfunctional family" has now been around for a long time. Pretty much everyone I know has some level of dysfunction somewhere in their family circle. We can choose to dwell on the trouble. What if we let God's Love inform us? How would this change our eyes? What if our family was suddenly struck with loss – a death, a divorce, a family feud? Imagine how God's Love could help heal family rifts.

FRIENDS CIRCLE: How many close friends do you have, friends with whom you can share Love? This is not a judgment, it is simply another inquiry to see how much we are letting Love inform our interactions with those we have come to care about. Periodically, friendships, like family relationships, are strained. Losing friends is harder, sustaining friendship, even when we feel wronged, brings Love's rewards.

STRANGERS CIRCLE: Are they really any strangers in the daily circles through which you move? God's Love tells us that the angry guy in the other car is our brother. The homeless woman is our sister. The store clerk is half a step from becoming a friend.

THE OUTER WORLD: How do we relate to nature? For caregivers living in fluorescent hallways and patient rooms, when is the last time you went beyond the parking lot at work, stopped at a local park, and spent twenty minutes walking through nature? How are we using our senses, our minds, and our hearts to appreciate the enormous riches of the art that is easily available if we will only look, listen, feel the great gifts of the great artists? How do we engage games? Does God's Love tell us it's that important if our team wins, or that the enjoyment of the game brings its own passion?

THE CIRCLE OF YOU WITH YOURSELF AND GOD: When we turn our backs on God's Love, we are turning away from the best energy the world has to offer. God never turns away. But, often we turn our backs on God's Love. When we do this, we are turning our backs on ourselves. Self-hatred is the most punishing of all conditions. Self-love, informed by God, is the energy from which all other light is released.

SHUNNING FROM A CIRCLE:   I have written often about shunning. It is the great pain of relationships that we can sometimes find ourselves, often suddenly, torn away from a circle that has mattered to us. We discover ourselves out in the cold, looking through a window at a group where we are no longer accepted. I see this in stark reality when I spend time ministering to prisoners, some of whom are shunned all the way into the punishment solitary confinement. 

   When new management took over Baptist Hospital, I was fired from my position as CEO. Once outside, I heard myself criticizing new leaders for focusing too much on profit and not enough on healing mission. Not surprisingly, I found myself as an outcast.

   When I visited the hospital first line staff members continued to express Love and caring. They knew how much I cared for them and consistently expressed the wish that I was still with them.

   On the other hand, I was suddenly unwelcome at every level of management. Some staff I had previously led were told not to communicate with me. I found out later that the new leadership felt so threatened by my presence (as a somewhat "popular" former leader) that they actually asked security to inform them whenever I entered the hospital. The culture I once led and in which I was welcomed warmly now shunned me as if I was an enemy.

   How could I let God's Love inform my attitude? I forgot this lesson for awhile and nurtured resentment. Finally, one day, I realized how foolish this was. If I acted out of self interest instead of Love, I would harbor feelings of hurt. Obviously, if others were not informed by Love, they were certain to act out of self-interest rather than caring and respect.

  It is so difficult to remember how available Love is and how powerful her presence can be. But Love's can do nothing if we block it with self-interest.

  So today is a chance to look at our relationships through the eyes of Love. Today, and everyday, we can let go and let Love guide us into fields of light.

-Rev. Erie Chapman