Journal of Sacred Work

"…life without love is a desert where no rain falls…"   – Rev. Waldemar Argow (1916-1996)   [- Library of Congress image, below, under the category "Sex."]

Here's some  post Fourth of July fireworks for you in one word – Sex!  It's a subject rarely raised in the serious world of caregiving (except in a legalistic context when someone has violated boundaries.)

   In our anxious, western society, the word sex is guaranteed to draw quick attention.

   For example,in 1980, church attendance at my place of worship was lagging. We had an excellent minister. No one could figure out why Sunday morning attendance had fallen from and average of about 300 down to the 150s.

   Our minister, the late Reverend Waldemar Argow, had an idea. For all of the next week, the sign in front of the church read: "Sunday's Sermon - Sex!"

   That following Sunday, it was standing room only.

   Love is more important. Sex is more interesting.

   What I vaguely recall about the sermon was that Rev. Argow said two things: First, he asked everyone to look around at what it took to bring them to church. There was, of course, a nervous. Second, his real sermon had to do with sexual relationships in the Bible – primarily the old testament – the Bible characters with hundreds of wives, and so forth. In other words, not terribly arousing stuff.

   Unfortunately, the next week attendance trailed off and returned to its lower level for the rest of the year. After all, Rev. Argow couldn't put "Sex!" on the church sign every week.

   If "life without love is a desert…" as Rev. Argow wrote, then sex without love is not love. But what draws more attention, sex or Love? For the answer, we need merely scan television or movie listings.

   The Journal (and the whole idea of loving care) faces a similar challenge. Everyone agrees that Love is the most important and powerful energy in the world. But, not very many people want to read about it.

   Honestly, isn't some part of you a bit disappointed that I didn't really write about sex in today's essay?

   Like everyone else, I'm fascinated by the subject. But, I also assume you didn't come to this site to read about sex. 

   In fact, we condemn scandal and the scandal newspapers sell millions of copies every week. It's a very old problem and no one ever solves the challenge by sounding judgmental (as I am doing here.)

   The fact is, the small number of people who read the Journal of Sacred Work are those who already "get it." It's clear to me from the comments I read that Journal followers are among the most loving caregivers a patient or supervisor could want.

   Would a bad nurse, doctor or other therapist come to a site about sacred work? I doubt it. 

   Most caregivers are not going to find much excitement here. We offer encouragement, support and serenity. Most are so harried by their lives that stopping to read about Love for even two minutes is too hard.

   I think I understand why. There's not much controversy here. No money discussion. No sex either. 

   As I travel the country,I ask the large groups of caregivers who come to hear me speak (mostly because their bosses have told them to attend) a question. I ask how many of them take just five minutes in any given day to meditate or pray? Only a small percent raise their hands.

   Naturally, they say they don't have time. Later, when I ask them how many of them watch television every evening almost all raise their hands.

   It's a matter of priorities. We have time for what we think is important.

   Five minutes of rest would likely improve life quality more than two hours of television. So, what's the problem? Could it be that meditation isn't sexy enough?

-Rev. Erie Chapman