Journal of Sacred Work

Caregivers have superpowers! Radical Loving Care illuminates the divine truth that caregiving is not just a job. It is Sacred Work.

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   Each day, we decide whether living Love, not fear, is, or is not, in our best interest. Each time we allow anxiety into our hearts, we have opened the door to fear. Only, Love can expel fear. Why wouldn't we always choose Love?

   My Mother Test poses the biggest and best challenge to hospitals, charities and caregivers. If your mother comes to the place where you work, how confident would you be that she would be treated with Loving care by everyone she encounters?

   The Moral Test is for each of us. It flows from the Mother Test. The Moral Test for caregivers is not only how we treat the hardest diagnoses but how we treat the meanest acting patients.

   My Moral Test for a leader is this: How lovingly do you deal with the organization's most difficult employees? (The Mission Test for hospitals is, of course, how well they do in passing meeting or exceeding the above standards.)

   If you agree with these standards, I hope you will make them your own. If you find your work is becoming too "easy," or, perhaps, too tiresome, it may be worth reconsidering how well you are doing in passing these tests. Sustaining Loving care is very hard work. It is a daily challenge as well as a lifetime one.  

   Forget your mother for a just a moment. What if you came to your organization in need. How confident would you be that everyone you encountered would treat you with Loving care? How would you deal with them if they didn't?

-Rev. Erie Chapman 

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5 responses to “Days 230-232 – The Moral Test & The Mother Test”

  1. ~liz Wessel Avatar

    The mother test is a good one that guides my daily practice. I try to think of the patient and or family member as a person as it helps me offer a more compassionate and caring response. As far as patients who are angry and upset I try to listen. I think this works best because if a person does not feel heard this situation will escalate. The person will tell you again, only this time louder.
    The moral teat is a difficult one. I find that people who bully or bulldoze are often tolerated because people feel intimidated and want to avoid conflict. It is strange that I can go to the depths of suffering with another person and not run. Yet, in conflict, my first instinct is to avoid it at all costs. When I do this…I realize I am taking the Suckers Choice” (Crucial Conversations, excellent book.) There is another choice however, which is to learn good communication skills and listen with an intention to understand rather than be right or to win.
    If we find the courage to enter into real dialogue, we afford both persons an opportunity to learn new skills and to grow. The person who acts out is not the only one at fault. We all play/choose a role in the interaction. Healthy communication is a foundational in a healing relationship.
    Thanks for your thought provoking reflection, Erie.

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  2. Marily Avatar

    “The Moral Test is for each of us. It flows from the Mother Test. The Moral Test for caregivers is not only how we treat the hardest diagnoses but how we treat the meanest acting patients”.
    Thanks once again for this Rev. Erie, I pray I would find an attractive way in sharing this to my co-workers. Our organization is constantly reminding us to increase our scores by boosting our customer service. I know passing these tests would shoot our scores up while performing within the standards of the greatest law.
    I am confident that I would be treated with loving care in our hospital. We normally get great feedback from our patients, although there are a few unhappy persons who aren’t pleased with anything done. We should do our best to understand their reality. These goes true to caregivers, not everyone functions alike. While the way things are handled differently, we hope love could unify our intentions that could bring us closer to perfection.

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  3. Victoria Facey Avatar
    Victoria Facey

    In taking the test of coming into a hospital or my workplace, I would certainly walk in with loving care and if not addressed, I would search for someone open to similar support to align with. Regardless of my frustrations or anger, I recognize that the caregiver might also react accordingly. Although not common, I believe that we must always be cognizant of our surroundings and those we deal with – and how we deal with them. I speak from a combination of compassion and (unfortunately) fear of retaliation.
    I take the same stance in working along side difficult (challenging) employees. Lately I’ve noticed news about explosive employees, some with violent results. Often we are too busy to notice / nurture another employee who may have issues, or don’t hold the same values within the organization. Not everyone feels the same about what they do for a living. Or they may not care for others within the work environment. There is a role for a neutral caregiver to offer respect and dignity to a combative co-worker.
    I truly didn’t mean to stray from your original topic, but I decided to dig a little deeper in addressing dealing with difficult people.

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  4. ann kaiser Avatar
    ann kaiser

    How would I deal with them if they didn’t treat you with Loving care.???….your very last statement Rev Erie, certainly is a haunting one. One I have been struggling with for months.
    Thankyou Victoria for digging a little deeper into difficult situations. It gives us alot to think about. Especially for those that have been on the receiving end of the withheld Love. My prayer is that with this Sacred Journal and Erie’s out reach to caregivers, it will give food for thought to nourish a soul to dive in a little deeper and remember that as a CareGiver, they are sustaining Loving Care!.

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  5. Sue Avatar
    Sue

    My husband was in the hospital for a short surgery, same day. Every one was kind and welcomed him giving great care. They were also there going to the cafe getting coffee and giving encouraging words. My mom was also in the ER and then tele. From housekeeping, to my friends son, all levels of workers made my mom feel comfortable. I work with a great family of people that show care and make a hospital work..

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